


Way Down We Go

by skullkidd



Series: As Above So Below [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abuse, Don't say I didn't warn you, F/M, Heaven, Hell, M/M, Religion, This is a long one, Torture, Violence, it comes more in the sequel, nanowrimo time, the soriku is mostly implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-08-14 07:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 47,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16487978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullkidd/pseuds/skullkidd
Summary: Vanitas is the Crown Prince of Hell, and oldest son of the king, Xehanort.Ventus is an angel, and oldest son of the right hand man to God himself.Mortal enemies be damned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Giving Romeo and Juliet a happy ending is a disgrace to Shakespeare. Don't say I didn't warn you.
> 
> There's gonna be a few touchy subjects in here including torture, different takes on religion, and death. I'll try to make them decently PG13 but if you're sensitive to that stuff it may be best to not read this. All trigger warnings are in the tags and I'll update them as I go in case anything needs to be added.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

 

_Maybe there’s nothing in this life except what we owe to each other._

_Maybe, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other._

_Here’s hoping, Ven._

_I’ll see you soon._

__________________

Vanitas clicks his pen and lays it down on his desk with a sigh.

He looks up at the shorter boy standing on the other side of it, large stack of papers in hand, and rolls his eyes.

“It’s like Xehanort can’t do anything for himself.”

The brown-haired boy rolls his eyes in response, setting the papers down on Vanitas’s desk. “First-born duties. Sorry, Vani.”

Vanitas sighs again, once, before leaning back in his chair. “Can’t the old man step off his throne for, like, two hours just to sign some forms? I have better things to do than sit here forging his signature while he’s off doing god-knows what to god-knows who. Maybe I’ll tank upstairs so I can finally have a day off from doing paperwork. It’s like my own personal hell.”

“Dark realm,” the younger boy corrects, somewhat jokingly, because they both know too well how Xehanort hates the negative connotations that the word “hell” entails, for whatever reason Vanitas doesn’t care enough to figure out.

Vanitas rolls his eyes at the response. “You know, being the son of the King should exempt me from the misery that being down here usually entails.”

The boy just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, Vani. He just handed them to me and nodded in your general direction. Just sign them.”

Vanitas laughs once, unintentionally harshly, waving his hand to dismiss his younger brother from his office. Sora nods before leaving, closing the door quietly behind him.  
  
_He doesn’t belong here,_ Vanitas muses to himself as he stares at the spot Sora left. He sighs, shaking his head aggressively, trying to physically force his pity out of his head. Pity won’t help anyone, not him nor Sora. No, there’s nothing he can do for the shorter brown-haired boy, a stark contrast to his own darkness manifesting in darkened hair and golden eyes. A darkness that has yet to infect his younger brother, retaining his bright blue eyes uncontaminated by their father’s influence.

He finishes his tasks early, leaving his room to take a quick break, having to plug his ears to drown out the screaming seemingly coming from all directions, and winds up breaking into a sprint to get away from the noise. He breaks into Sora’s room before slowing down, causing the shorter boy to jump, book flying out of his hands and to the ground.

“How many times can you read that thing?” Vanitas asks before Sora can pose his own question about why Vanitas all but fell into his room.

Sora just shrugs, leaning over the side of his bed to pick up the book that had fallen to the ground. “It’s hard to get Xehanort to approve of anything material down here. It’s the only one I could convince him to let me take back.”

Vanitas sighs, eyeing the cover of the book that Xehanort had considered _awful_ enough to permit in their realm of suffering. _The Fault in Our Stars._ “Do you wanna go upstairs later?”

Sora nods immediately. “Absolutely.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas finishes his daily duties as quickly as he’s able after leaving his brother’s room, then tracks Sora down in the left wing of the torture chambers, and walks in just as he finishes up his training of one of the new lower level demons. He knocks lightly as Sora turns, wiping blood off his face with a rag before tossing it onto a chair in the corner of the room. “Ready to go?”

“Go where?” The girl Sora was training, Naminé, asks, to both of their surprise. Nobody would usually dare to ask the sons of the King anything like that. Vanitas isn’t one to care, though he knows if his father were present when she spoke out of line like that, she wouldn’t have her demon title much longer.

“Watch it,” he warns her, though he doesn’t mean for it to come off as aggressively as it does. She flinches just a bit, and he sighs as he realizes why his father paired her off with Sora. It’s no secret that Sora is the weaker of the two of them, and Xehanort has been known to pawn off training of the more apprehensive low ranked demons to him, because he’s admitted to finding it funny when they get a shock as soon as their training is over, as he knows Sora is too soft-hearted to show them any real torture. Vanitas hates him for that. He turns his attention to Sora, nodding in the direction of the poor sucker who’s crimes were deemed so terrible that he was assigned to be a demon training guinea pig. “Who’s this guy?”

“Serial arsonist. Bombed a building, killed a bunch of people.”

Vanitas nods, summoning his Keyblade, Void Gear, into his hands and shocking the man tied to the chair in the center of the room. He makes it quick, doing his best to silence the screams until he has three fingers and five teeth in his hand, dropping them into Naminé’s hands as she stares at him, jarred. “There. Give these to Xehanort and tell him I stopped by if he asks. You’re free to go now.”

She nods, still looking shocked, and Vanitas waits until she’s out of sight before sighing, him and Sora leaving the man in the room to be taken care of by one of the lower ranked demons. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“And risk her being subjected blindly to Xehanort’s undying masochism? Not gonna happen. She’s a cute kid, she doesn’t need that shit. Especially from our creep dad.”

“I showed her some stuff.”

“Clearly not enough if some amputation and dental extraction shook her that badly.”

“I’m sorry, Vani-”

“Don’t apologize, Sora. It’s not like I get off on torture the way Xehanort does, I just do what’s expected of me. Just because we’re creatures of darkness doesn’t mean we have to love it.”

“Doesn’t it?”

Vanitas ponders this for a moment before shrugging. “Maybe. Who knows? Who _cares?_ How many other Princes of Hell have you met that you can ask?”

Sora sighs, running a hand through his brown hair. “Can we just go upstairs and forget about Xehanort? I’m really looking forward to that pint.”

 

* * *

 

They manage to sneak through the portal in Xehanort’s office with little difficulty, as is usual for their ventures. Vanitas had gotten extremely good at forging Xehanort’s signature over the years of doing so on all the paperwork their father was too lazy to sign. The only good things to come out of being Xehanort’s desk mouse is that he’s able to forge the signature on any document that suits his needs, and he usually gets away with not being physically involved in the torture.

They step through the portal into the painful sunlight of the mortal realm, and it takes his body a few excruciating seconds before it settles in. He pulls his sleeves over the burn blisters that the journey had caused, knowing that this time would be just like all the others, and Sora would be completely unaffected by the sunlight because his darkness isn’t nearly as deep-seeded as Vanitas’s. Being around 300 years older than Sora, Vanitas has had plenty of time being their father’s right hand to develop a love for the darkness, and until Sora came along, he had no reason to see otherwise. Sora didn’t belong with them in the Dark Realm, Vanitas knew that. Sora being completely unaffected by sunlight and completely unaware of Vanitas’s own quiet suffering at the feeling of the warmth cascading from the floating ball of fire in the sky.

As soon as his body has adjusted, they set out to find Sora the pint he hadn’t shut up about since Vanitas proposed the idea that morning. They find a quiet tavern a short walk away, Vanitas sitting with Sora as he drinks, the two of them discussing nothing in particular. They’d agreed on their adventures upstairs not containing a single conversation about their home, unless they were out on a mission for Xehanort. They discuss Sora’s book, his brother trying to convince him for the twentieth time to read it, but Vanitas knows if Xehanort approved it it’d have to be absolutely god awful and Vanitas wasn’t one to willingly put himself into torturous situations like reading a John Green book.

Their conversation is going nowhere in particular when Sora gets distracted by something over his shoulder and points in the general direction of a tall boy with a strong build a little ways away, watching them intently. They’d been caught wandering by angels in the Mortal Realm before, and usually they just get glared at until they unwillingly just head back downstairs. Vanitas was never one to enjoy fighting with God’s pawns.

“Let’s just go,” Vanitas mutters to Sora, standing up and walking away without so much as waiting for an answer. As he walks away, he hears someone following him, but he can sense it isn’t just Sora. He waits until they’re out of any human’s eyesight before whipping around, materializing Void Gear and holding it up to their stalker’s throat, unsurprised to have a second Keyblade held against his own. He sends a sideways glance at Sora, who’s holding his against the back of the guy following them. “Do we know each other?” Vanitas asks in annoyance.

“I don’t think so, but I know what you are.”

“Oh do you?” Vanitas retorts, though he sends a concerned glance at Sora, who isn’t even looking over at Vanitas. He’s got his eyes narrowed as he studies their attacker, as if he’s waiting for a single movement before running him through. Sora was always fiercely protective despite Vanitas being nearly 300 years older.

“You’re demons. Both of you,” he says in a low, cautious voice, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“Not a hard one to guess,” he responds, ignoring Sora’s confused glance. “And you are?”

“My name’s Terra. I’m an angel in training, and I was sent here to find and eliminate you both.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes again, pushing his Keyblade further into the boy, Terra’s, throat. “Good luck with that. We were just leaving. I suggest you’d step down and walk away before you try picking a fight.”

Terra looks a little nervous at this, and Vanitas can tell this is one of his first ventures out of Heaven. He doesn’t even care at first, though with another glance at Sora, he sees his brother’s eyes softening as he apparently comes to the same realization. At that moment of distraction, Terra seems to take the opportunity, turning on his heels and taking Sora down to the ground with one hit. He stands above him, his Keyblade clearly being prepped for Sora’s death, when Vanitas lurches forward in a complete blind rage, knocking Terra down and dropping Void Gear in the process, and taking to using his fists to bash the angel’s face in. He only gets a few good hits in when he’s thrown off of him, summoning Void Gear back into his hands and holding it towards the person who threw him, though he sends it away when he sees Sora standing above him, his own Keyblade positioned at Terra’s throat. “Both of you, stop!”

“Sora-” Vanitas starts, but his brother just glares down at him through bright blue eyes.

“He’s just brainwashed, can’t you see that?” Sora demands, and Vanitas knows he has no choice but to bite his tongue. “And you,” Sora says, glaring down at Terra, one foot standing on top of Terra’s wrist, effectively holding his keyblade down, and the other on his chest to prevent him from standing. “Don’t ever think you can attack me or my brother ever again and walk away with your life. Got it?”

Terra swallows once, nodding quickly.

Sora doesn’t say another word, taking one foot off Terra’s hand and the other off his chest. He holds his hand out to help Vanitas up, and as soon as he’s on his feet, Sora turns his back and continues walking in the direction of the portal.

He watches his brother walk off, about to follow suit when he hears Terra speak up, a tremble in his voice. “Thank you.”

Vanitas doesn’t look back, just begins walking after Sora. “Whatever.”


	2. Chapter 2

Vanitas catches up to Sora as the boy is about to walk out of Xehanort’s office. Vanitas all but falls onto the ground, making a loud crash, and Sora stops, hand on the doorknob, but doesn’t turn. “What the hell was that?” Vanitas demands, and Sora whips around to glare at him.

“What do you mean, what the hell was that? What were you doing?”

“Saving your life _?_  Who cares, anyway? He's just an angel,"Vanitas retorts, and Sora groans and rolls his eyes.

“God, sometimes you’re just like dad. They’re all brainwashed, Vanitas, you know that as well as I do!”

“Who gives a damn if they’re brainwashed? He tried to _kill_ you!”

“And you tried to kill him!”

Vanitas sighs heavily, looking up at the roof in an attempt to compose himself before dragging his golden eyes back down to meet Sora’s blue ones. “Sora, listen. We have to do our jobs, as shitty as they are. There’s no getting away from it. We can’t let every angel walk free because you have too much empathy.”

“At least I have some.”

Vanitas stares at him for a moment longer before speaking in a threatening whisper. “I do have some. I also have a duty to our kind. You can’t run from it forever.”

Sora just rolls his eyes in response. “I wonder what you were like before your eyes went gold.”

With that, the brown haired boy turns, leaving Vanitas standing there in shock. He’d never felt _envy_ at Sora for retaining the innocent blue of his eyes, untainted by Xehanort’s dark influence, but he’d wondered a few times what life would be like with them. Vanitas had looked a lot like Sora when he was younger, but the longer he spent with their father, the darker his hair turned and the more the blue faded from his eyes until he became who he is now. He sighs as the door slams closed behind Sora, leaving him standing alone in their father’s office, wondering himself what he was like before their father got into his head.

* * *

Vanitas finds his way back up to the mortal realm only a few days later, with the full intention of finding out if Terra was there as well so he could finish what they’d started.

He’s more angry with Sora for blowing up on him than anything else, which is enough to fuel his rage as he steps through the portal, Void Gear already materialized in his hand, as he begins to try and sense Terra’s aura.

He senses it a few hundred miles off and hops back into the portal, sending it over to where he picked up Terra beforesteping back through. He takes off, heart pounding, in the same direction, before literally crashing into Terra, sending them both flying to the ground.

Vanitas scrambles to his feet immediately, summoning Void Gear into his hands and holding it up against Terra’s throat.

“Come to finish me off?” Terra asks, and Vanitas narrows his eyes at the snarky question.

“Maybe I am.”

Terra doesn’t respond, and Vanitas just stares at him for a moment, debating what to do, before letting out one heavy breath and stepping back, sending Void Gear away and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’ve fought angels before. To be honest, if I’d been alone, I don’t think I would have let you live.”

“Okay?” Terra asks, and Vanitas curses himself for telling Terra all the thoughts flowing through his mind at that point. “Did you… Track me down?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Vanitas snaps immediately, though he can’t bring himself to meet Terra’s eyes as he lies through his teeth. He finally looks up when he doesn’t get a response, seeing a small smile tugging at the sides of Terra’s lips. “What?” He demands.

“You’re not really what I expected a demon to be like.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes, unintentionally cartoonishly. “Oh, shut up. Don’t make me change my mind on not killing you.”

“So you’re not gonna kill me?” Terra asks, seeming genuinely surprised. “You know, I was sent to find you and kill you yesterday. I would have become a full angel if I’d succeeded. I had to give up the chance at not having to be an apprentice anymore if I managed to off either of you. You have every right to want to kill me. So why not?”

Vanitas just shrugs, looking back down at the ground. “My brother wouldn’t be too pleased.”

“Sora, right?” Terra asks, sending another wage of rage down Vanitas’s spine.

He has to physically bite his tongue for a moment to avoid cursing Terra out for even saying his brother’s name after his attempted murder the day before. “Yes. What do you care?”

“That name sounds really familiar to me.”

Vanitas can’t think of a single reason that could be for the life of him, so he chooses to just shrug instead. “Whatever. I wanted to ask you something.”

Terra crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “What could a demon possibly have to ask me?”

“Why do you guys save people?”

Terra looks a little stunned at Vanitas’s question. He has no idea why he chose to not kill him, chalking it up to just not wanting another fight with Sora, but asking him about how Heaven works is the last thing he would have expected to come out of tracking Terra down. “Uh… I don’t know, really. Humans aren’t like us, they aren’t born inherently good or evil. They can be saved or damned. We like to believe that they deserve to be saved. It’s just our beliefs.”

“We believe that all humans are born inherently evil. I’ve been taught that my whole life, and there’s enough trashbags down in Hell to prove it, in my opinion. It’s much easier for humans to fall into doing evil things, because they’re selfish, evil creatures.”

“I don’t believe that. Anyone can be saved.”

Vanitas looks him dead in the eyes. “Jack the Ripper would beg to differ.”

Terra visibly flinches at the name. “Jack the Ripper? Like, the serial killer Jack the Ripper?”

“Yeah. Cool guy.” Vanitas has to bite back a laugh at the look of sheer terror on Terra’s face at this, though he rolls his eyes with a small smile before continuing. “Oh, come on. I’m kidding.” Terra looks both terrified and relieved at the same time, and Vanitas turns somber about as quick as he’d become entertained by Terra’s innocence. “I can’t think of a single reason to have faith in humans. I think they’re all evil unless it benefits them.”

“You’re wrong,” Terra insists, and Vanitas thinks to himself about how ballsy it is of him to argue with a _demon_ . It’d be a ballsy move even if Vanitas _was_ a demon, but Terra doesn’t know anything about him, as evident by Terra’s assumption that Vanitas is nothing but an average Xehanort lackey. “Humans have a lot of darkness in them, sure, but there’s also a lot of light. Trust me, I’ve seen it.”

“I’d really rather not. It’d make my job a hell of a lot harder to see them as anything above irredeemable, and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t see how you can see them as anything above the insects they have so many of here.”

Terra just shrugs in response. “We have a lot of faith up there, you know. It wouldn’t kill you to have some, too.”

 _It just might if my father ever found out I did,_ Vanitas thinks to himself, before shaking his head. “Maybe. I should probably be going. Got some serial killers to torture, you know?”

It’s the equivalent of a lighthearted joke where he’s from, but Terra looks mortified. Vanitas just chuckles, shaking his head. He shoves his hands back in his pockets and turns to walk off, when Terra’s voice stops him.

“I don’t even know your name.”

Vanitas pauses for a moment, before looking over his shoulder at Terra momentarily. “My name’s Kara.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas steps back through the portal to find Sora standing there waiting for him, arms crossed.

“What were you doing up there?”

Vanitas can’t meet his brother’s eyes, so he looks at the ground instead. “Mission for Xehanort.” Sora scoffs, and Vanitas whips his gaze up to glare at him. “Do you have something to say to me, Sora?”

“Do you have something to say to _me?_ Like how you were just up in the mortal realm trying to find that angel, weren’t you?” Vanitas doesn’t answer, and Sora’s voice drops to a whisper. “Did you kill him, Vani?”

“Of course not!” Vanitas snaps, and Sora narrows his eyes at him.

“Then tell me what you were doing.”

Vanitas just shrugged. “I just wanted to talk to him.”

“ _Why?_ ”

“Because I’ve never...  _spoken_ to an angel before, Xehanort would never allow it. One of his sons, coming into that close contact to one of _them?_ Imagine if we lost control of the darkness, Sora, and killed one of them. If they found out who we are, that we're not really demons, and we killed an angel? It’d be all the ammunition they need to start a holy war.”

“Then why did you try to kill him yesterday?”

Vanitas sighs, looking at the ground again. He’d been developing a habit of that. “He tried to kill you. I didn’t want to let him get away with that.”

Sora doesn’t say anything, and when Vanitas looks back at him, he can see tears forming in his brother’s eyes. “Oh, Sora, don’t do that-” he starts softly, but Sora cuts him off by throwing his arms around him and hugging him tightly.

“I’m sorry, Vani. I hate fighting with you, I just didn’t want to see anyone get hurt-”

Vanitas cuts him off with a chuckle, holding a hand to his brother’s back. “Oh, come on, you big softie. Let’s get you some sleep.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse

Vanitas doesn’t run into Terra again for another five years or so.

It’s not considered a very long time for a being like him, though Vanitas has to admit he’d hoped to run into him maybe just _once._ Something about angels makes him wonder if there’s more to life than what Xehanort has told him his entire life.

He doesn’t run into Terra initially, though. He’s off on a mission for Xehanort, minding his own business when he’s thrown unexpectedly to the ground without so much as a warning, not even having enough time to summon Void Gear before he finds himself on the ground, a blonde haired boy standing above him, looking enraged and bloodthirsty. Vanitas doesn’t sense an ounce of experience on him, and rolls his eyes, kicking one leg out and taking the boy to the ground easily, climbing to his feet. He’s about to make some snarky remark when the boy scrambles up as well, summoning a short, clunky looking Keyblade and slashing at Vanitas before throwing it to the side and lunging forward, catching him in a headlock. Vanitas coughs once, then laughs, laughably unfazed by this boy’s aggression. “Well you’re a scrappy one, aren’t you?”

“Shut up!” The kid snaps, his Keyblade materializing in his hand as he holds it against Vanitas’s throat. He feels a slight burning sensation from it, which he finds strange because Terra’s Keyblade didn’t affect him at all. It doesn’t take him long to figure out that this random kid had somehow managed to get his hands on a holy blade, and Vanitas panics just a bit as he grabs the kid’s hand and throws him over his shoulder, slamming the blonde's body onto the ground as he lets out a grunt. “Who do you think you are?” Vanitas demands, towering over him as the boy coughs a few times, trying to drag himself to his feet again, but Vanitas kicks him down once more just in time for someone to shout “ _Ven!”_ from behind the tree lines.

Vanitas summons Void Gear and whips around, his blade nearly meeting Terra’s neck as the taller boy stops dead in his tracks. They stare at each other for just a few moments before Terra breaks into a slight smile. “Kara!”

“Terra,” Vanitas nods, confused for just a moment at the name before remembering the alias he’d given Terra to protect his identity, and they share an awkward moment of silence until Vanitas turns around to see the blonde kid pulling himself to his feet.

“How have you been?” Terra asks, as Vanitas drops his blade from Terra’s neck, sending it away with a shrug.

“Alright. And you?”

“Good! I’ve got an apprentice now. This is Ventus.”

Vanitas turns back to look at the blonde kid who’d tackled him, staring at Vanitas with narrowed blue eyes that remind him a bit of Sora’s. He holds a hand out to shake Ventus’s, who just stares at him with disgust.

“Who are you?”

“Ventus, this is Kara. He’s the demon who spared my life five years ago.”

The boy, Ventus, glares at Vanitas in such an angry way that it actually makes him uncomfortable, which isn’t any easy task. “ _Demon?”_ Ventus demands through his teeth. “No demon could have been that close to a holy blade and survived. _Who are you?_ ”

“What are you talking about, Ven?” Terra asks, and Vanitas can feel the smallest bits of panic rising.

“He’s no demon.”

“What’s he talking about, Kara?” Terra asks, turning to Vanitas. “You’re... Not a demon?”

“Of course I’m-” Vanitas starts, but Ven cuts him off, pressing his blade towards Vanitas’s throat, triggering the same burning sensation.

“Look. Nothing. Just a few blisters,” the kid mutters.

“Kara,” Terra repeats, voice a low whisper, and Vanitas tries to ignore the blood pounding in his ears as he tries to think of a way out of this. He doesn’t have a chance to before Ventus speaks up again.

“He’s not a demon. I don’t know what he is, but he’s not a demon.”

Terra’s takes a step back, though Ventus just appears to get angrier when Vanitas doesn’t argue.

“You lied to me?” Terra asks quietly, and Vanitas glances over at him.

“I didn’t lie. I mean… You never _asked_.”

“That’s the same thing!” Terra exclaims. “Why did you lie to me?”

“I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to ask you about humans, about why you have so much blind faith in them. I wanted to know about the light. It’s not like there’s a whole lot of light in the Dark Realm to study, and I knew you wouldn’t tell me if you knew what I really was. I’m sorry.” Terra doesn’t say anything, so Vanitas carefully continues. “I’d absolutely be a demon if I were given the choice,” he says, which is a true statement. “You guys have no idea how easy you have it up there.”

“ _Easy?”_ Ventus demands, and Vanitas turns back to look at him, the blonde’s blade still pressed against Vanitas’s throat. “Do you have any idea how hard angels are worked for no recognition whatsoever? We’re expected to do our daily duties and keep our damn mouths shut about how corrupt the system really is! All individuality is stripped from us the second we start our training and we work our asses off for a God that we’re not even sure exists, and we’re never allowed to meet anyway. I don’t even think there’s a God at all, I think it’s just a ruse that Eraqus came up with because he has an insatiable power complex!”  
  
“ _Ventus!_ ” Terra snaps, and Ventus’s anger falters for a moment. Vanitas flinches at the raise of Terra’s voice, and with a second more focused glance in the taller boy’s direction, Vanitas picks up a bit more authority in his figure. Vanitas wonders if he’d passed his angel exam in the time since they’d last met. With a look back at Ventus, though, Vanitas’s curiosity is even more piqued. He’d never heard of an angel who doesn’t believe in God.

“Whatever, stay here and hang out with your best friend from hell for all I care,” Ventus mutters, glaring at Terra and Vanitas in turn before storming off. Vanitas can see the dismay on Terra’s face clear as day.

“I should follow him. I’m not supposed to let him out of my sight, Eraqus would have my head.”

Vanitas wonders what he means by this, but doesn’t question it. He waits until Terra’s walking away before speaking up.

“Congratulations, by the way. On becoming a full angel, I mean.”

Terra pauses, not looking back at Vanitas when he speaks. “It’s nothing more than a title, Kara. Congratulations on being whatever the hell you are.”

Vanitas stands in silence as he watches Terra walk away without another word.

 

* * *

 

 

“And this is?”

Naminé looks up, startled, as Vanitas approaches behind her. She looks nervous as she splutters for an answer. “Uh, various aggravated assaults and animal torture.”

Vanitas leans against the wall in her assigned room, and nods to signal her to keep going. He’s not a fan of screams, but today’s evaluation day of the lower ranked demons, tiers one and two, so he just grins and bears it. Evaluation day is one of the few days he gets to step out of his own office for a change, so he doesn’t have any reason to complain about that aspect.

He takes a few scatterbrained notes as she works, making sure to add a note about how Sora seems to have trained her well. He leaves out the fact that she still seems apprehensive, because he’s taken a strange liking to her for some reason and he doesn’t need Xehanort to pull out the exposure therapy for her like he loves to do.

He gets lost in his own mind during her evaluation, wondering why Xehanort finds it necessary to torture his own sons as well as his employees and captives. Vanitas has never been anything but compliant, and he’s very clearly the favorite child between him and Sora, so he’s never been able to comprehend why Xehanort finds it necessary to lock him up in an office and do paperwork all day, and send Sora out on the field when he knows damn well that his youngest son isn’t the type to enjoy it. It’s the same reason Xehanort chooses the lesser bad people who wind up in their realm to become demons, because he finds it way more fun to watch them torture others while torturing themselves by doing so. He calls it a reward, but watching Naminé, Vanitas knows it’s anything but. Sure, it’s better than being on the receiving end, but nearly all the demons in their ranks were humans at one point. None of them enjoy it, though they lose their humanity the more they do it. Xehanort knows that as well as Vanitas does.

He finishes his evaluation of Naminé, giving her a higher grade than he knows she deserves, and continues onto the next room. He’s about to waltz in when he hears someone calling him from down the hall, and turns to see Sora jogging towards him.

“Father’s asked to see you.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas knocks lightly on his father’s office door, absolutely not expecting to actually find him there, but he hears Xehanort’s low, raspy voice beckoning him in and he opens the door cautiously.

Xehanort sits at his desk, hands clasped and his signature ever-present smirk across his face. “How are the evaluations coming?”

“I’m nearly finished,” Vanitas says, picking his words carefully and trying his best to keep a respectful tone. Xehanort nods, though doesn’t look like he’s about to speak, so Vanitas takes that as a cue to continue. “I finished the psychological torture branch and I’m about halfway done the physical torture branch. I just finished the evaluation of one of the newer demons, Naminé.”

“Have you had a chance to evaluate your brother yet?”

Vanitas’s heart drops at the question, and it takes nearly everything in him to stay composed. “Er- no, sir, I didn’t think I would be evaluating Sora. I’ve never had to before. You know, him being your son and all-”

“You would be evaluated too if you were a demon like he is,” Xehanort cuts him off, and Vanitas nods once, quickly. Vanitas doesn’t like being reminded of his stature above his brother, who officially stands at a tier 4 of 5, because he knows how desperate Sora is to prove himself to their father. Vanitas knows deep down that Xehanort will never promote him from a demon, nor will he ever allow Sora to use the same Prince title that Vanitas has to harbor. It’s just another form of Xehanort’s subtle abuse of his sons, giving Vanitas the recognition he doesn’t give a damn about while making sure Sora gets nothing despite being so _desperate_ for approval.

“His lack of enthusiasm concerns me,” Xehanort continues, and Vanitas studies his words carefully. “I feel as though his usefulness doesn’t quite match the level of yours. I would like to see him try just a bit more, save for having to have him replaced.”

Vanitas knows exactly what that means. Being replaced is a _very_ bad thing, and Xehanort doesn’t care about anyone so long as they’re _useful._ He finds himself tripping over his words a little as he tries his best to find a way to defend his brother without coming off as even a bit disrespectful. “With all due respect, sir, Sora works _very_ hard, he’s just not quite as naturally skilled-”

“I believe Sora’s enthusiasm isn’t quite where it should be at this point. Everyone he trains seems equally as apprehensive as he does in their assigned fields. He must improve.”

“He’s just not as aggressive as the others, but he _tries_ -”

“You dare argue with me?” Xehanort demands, summoning his own Keyblade as he jumps to his feet.

“No, sir, I just truly believe that Sora does his job just as well as anyone else in his position!” Vanitas says, not meaning to raise his voice, and he sees Xehanort’s eyes flash as he knows exactly what’s coming his way.

Vanitas tries his best not to flinch as Xehanort’s Keyblade strikes him across the face, and lets out a small yelp as it slashes his cheek open. His hands fly up to the wound, not because of the pain but because he’s trying desperately to keep the blood from spilling onto his father’s office floor. He panics as one droplet hits the ground, immediately spluttering apologies and asking to be excused to find something to clean it up for him.

“Just get out of my sight. I expect to see a truthful evaluation of Sora on this desk by tomorrow morning.”

Vanitas rushes out of the room as fast as he can, closing the door as quietly as he can, hand still pressed against his cheek. He lets out a shaky breath before wiping a single tear from his eye and cursing himself out mentally. _It’s just a damn cut. He’s done far worse before. How pathetic can I be?_

He looks up as he hears someone walking towards him. He recognizes Riku, one of Sora’s friends and one of the slightly higher ranked demons, staring at him in confusion from down the hall. “What are you looking at?!” Vanitas demands, clearly startling the silver-blue haired boy.

“Are you alright?”

“What do you care?” Vanitas snaps, turning on his heels and storming away while aggressively wiping both blood and tears off his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas receives a light knock on his door later that night, and doesn’t respond, knowing full well he doesn’t need to. There’s only one person who ever knocks on his door, and Vanitas can only assume that Riku hadn’t kept his mouth shut like he’d hoped he would.

“Vani?” A voice asks as his door opens slowly, and Vanitas doesn’t say anything. Sora walks in, closing the door behind him, and sits down at the edge of Vanitas’s bed. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“What happened to your cheek?” Sora asks, and Vanitas just shrugs, certain he already knows.

“Tripped.”

“Dad did that, didn’t he?”

“I tripped.”

Sora sighs, leaning back against the wall behind the bed. “I wish we could fight back sometimes.”

Vanitas can’t bring himself to look at his brother for fear of his emotions taking over again, so he chooses to stare at the wall instead. “I did your evaluation. It’s on my desk if you wanna make any alterations.”

“My… Evaluation?” Sora questions, and Vanitas nods.

“Yeah. Xehanort doesn’t think your trainees are up to par so he told me to evaluate you. It’s on my desk.”

Sora nods in silent understanding, though he doesn’t pick up the evaluation. “Did I pass?”

Vanitas laughs once. “Obviously. Though I think you could have benefitted from a bit more studying. You could use a tutor.”

Sora laughs in response, before falling silent again.

“So… Is that why he cut you?”

“He cut me because I raised my voice.”

Sora nods again. “You know I’ll be fine, Vani. I’m his son. He wouldn’t replace me.”

Vanitas doesn’t answer, because Sora knows as well as he does that that statement couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Yeah. Of course.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short one, sorry! next one will be longer.

Vanitas finds himself up on earth for a third mission for Xehanort that week.

His father had been sending him out into the mortal realm far more often that was usual, and Vanitas hoped it had nothing to do with Sora’s evaluation results. Xehanort had tried to separate them before, when they were younger, but Vanitas always figured it was because Xehanort and the concept of love were complete strangers to one another, and it was because either Xehanort didn’t want Vanitas and Sora getting too close to each other for fear of an uprising from them, or it just made their father uncomfortable to see his two sons not full of hate for everyone or anything.

He grits his teeth as the sunlight makes its first contact with his skin, forming a few blisters and adding to his current collection. He pulls the sleeves of his top over his wrists in an attempt to conceal as much skin as possible from the burning light as he walks off to his destination.

He walks for a while in silence, making it about halfway to where he was heading when he stops, sensing another presence watching him.

“Something I can help you with?” He demands without turning around. He doesn’t receive an answer so he turns on his heels, making eye contact with the bright blue eyes he’d met once before. “Come to finish me off?”

The blonde kid- Ventus, if he remembers correctly- just stares at him, eyes narrowed and angry. Vanitas rolls his eyes, digging his hands into his pockets as he begins to walk away in annoyance. “Whatever, kid. I don’t have any intentions of fighting you, so if you could just-” he stops when something hits him in the head, hand flying up to the contact point. “Ow!”

He spins around to see Ventus standing behind him with another rock in his hand, and Vanitas just stares at him, dumbfounded. “Did you just throw a  _ rock  _ at me?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Okay? You could have said that instead of trying to give me a concussion,” Vanitas mutters, though he can tell Ventus doesn’t give a damn. Some angel he is.

“I keep thinking back to how I didn’t kill you when we met the last time. I know you aren’t a demon, at least not a low ranked one, which means you’re… I don’t know, a fallen angel? Lord of the Dead?”

“Are you… Asking me if I’m  _ Hades?” _

Ventus studies him for a moment, ignoring the remark. “So... Fallen Angel? Beastkeeper? I don’t really know much about Hell’s hierarchy.”

Vanitas pauses for a moment, picking his words as carefully as he can. “Xehanort’s favourite desk mouse, and occasional foxhound.”

Ventus is quiet for an uncomfortably long few seconds. “Why did you lie to Terra?”

“Would he have been so nice to me if he knew what I really am?”

“I guess that depends on what exactly that is, and why you seem so determined to hide it.”

Vanitas just shrugs. “Is this why you tracked me down? To interrogate my species?”

Ventus shakes his head. “Honestly, I came to kill you. I’ve been feeling so awful about letting you go, that you could be killing people as I layed in bed and it’d be my fault because I could have stopped you.”

“I’m not a killer.”

Ventus glares at him. “So you expect me to believe that you just sit around signing papers? That taking lives isn’t something you enjoy?”

Vanitas has to pause for a moment, remembering back to the days before Sora, when his eyes had just changed colors and his hair had turned black and he proudly held the title of the best assassin in the entire Dark Realm. He shakes his head, trying to push the thoughts of those days out of his mind. He hates going back to that place because Ventus is right, despite not knowing anything about him. Vanitas used to  _ love  _ killing. It was a sport to him. But that was before Sora.

“I don’t expect you to believe it, but it’s true.”

“So why were you here, then? In the mortal realm, if not to take lives?”

“I… I’ve been studying humans for a little while. I don’t understand the light, and I’ve been trying to figure it out. I’m curious. I just… Watched. Terra explained to me the second time I met him that humans aren’t born inherently good or evil, and that they possess a lot of light to go along with the darkness. I wanted to see that. I wanted to understand it.”

Ventus seems to study him for a moment, as if he’s deciding whether or not to trust him. Vanitas stays silent until the blonde boy speaks up. “Light and dark can coexist without one taking over the other. Look there,” he says, pointing to one of the trees beside them, “you see that shadow? That’s darkness, but that shadow wouldn’t exist without the sunlight. It’s the same with humans. They exist somewhere between darkness and light, it’s all gray for them. There’s no pure good and evil, so it’s honestly a little unfair for us to separate them, I guess it just depends on which they let win.”

Vanitas nods, hesitating before speaking again. “Can you trust me for just one second?”   
“Absolutely not.”

Vanitas chuckles, holding a hand out and calling on the darkness inside him until a small creature pops up on the ground between them. “This is an Unversed, they’re the most basic form of demon in the Dark Realm. They exist of nothing but darkness, they feed on nightmares and negative emotions, specifically mine. If I feel anything negative and I let it fester, these guys pop up. Sometimes I wonder if their existence means that the darkness controls me more than I control it.”

He looks up at Ventus, who looks terrified of the monster. He summons Void Gear with a defeated sigh, swiping once at the Unversed and sending it away.

“You’re not all darkness,” Ventus says, out of nowhere, and Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him.

“What in the  _ Hell  _ do you mean by that?”

Ventus just  _ barely  _ cracks a tiny smile, and Vanitas realizes it’s the first time he’d ever seen him smile. “I can see there’s some light in you. It’s almost as if someone with a lot of light has touched your heart. There’s no way you’re completely evil.”

Vanitas looks at the ground, awkwardly shuffling his feet. He has no idea where Ventus could have pulled that idea from, and wondering who could have touched his heart. His first thought is Sora, but Sora couldn’t possibly have any light either.

Vanitas shakes his head, sighing. “I don’t know about that. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to doing the right thing.”

Ventus shakes his head. “The thing about angels is that we can sense light, even in the darkest of places. I saw it when we first met, but I didn’t want to accept it. Do you really think I would have let you live had I not seen something in you?”

“Are you forgetting that I’m a demon equivalent?”

Ventus pauses for a moment. “No.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing.”

“Angels jobs are to save people, you know. That’s our entire purpose. I know demons have been saved before.”

Vanitas pauses for a beat. “You’re insane.”

This time, Ventus doesn’t just crack a smile. He actually, fully smiles. Vanitas studies his face for a moment, and he knows Ventus is scanning him as well. He narrows his eyes at the blonde, seeing the slightest glisten off his skin, as if he were crafted from porcelain. His teeth are so white they may as well be pearls, his eyes are the colour of the sea and his hair is so much like the sun that Vanitas is shocked it isn’t causing him to blister.  _ Are all angels this beautiful?  _ He wonders, before thinking twice about it and cursing himself.  _ God _ , this kid is supposed to be his enemy, and yet here he is, admiring his sea-blue eyes.

Ventus’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, causing him to jump. “Who  _ are  _ you?” He asks softly, absentmindedly, his smile fading slowly.

Vanitas digs his hands into his pockets with a shrug, leaning back on his heels awkwardly. “I should probably be going.”

Ventus splutters just a little, nodding quickly. “Yeah. Of course. Me too.”

Vanitas nods, turning to walk away without waiting for another word. He curses himself again as he walks away, his thoughts trailing back off to those sea-blue eyes and sun-golden hair.


	5. Chapter 5

Vanitas walks down the physical torture wing, trying to distract himself in any way possible to drown out the screams. He doesn’t know how Sora can work down here every single day, when every single scream makes Vanitas flinch.

He’s on his way to track his brother down for their breaks, and as he turns a corner, he sees Sora leaning back against a wall, a taller man with a slicked back ponytail and an eyepatch leaning over him. Vanitas is immediately fuming, picking up his pace as he storms down the hallway to approach them, clearing his throat when he gets there.

Sora gives him a worried glance, but Vanitas couldn’t care less. He knows about Xigbar and his sick fixation on Sora, and it’s something he’s _never_ been afraid to shut down. “Something you need, Xigbar?”

The black-haired man laughs once, harshly, as he stands up straight. “I was just having a chat with your kid brother here about some new torture methods. Nothing to get all up in arms about, kid.”

“I am your superior, if you have any questions you can direct them to me. I’m sure Sora would tell you the same. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re taking our lunch breaks. Get back to work.”

Vanitas grabs Sora’s arm and pulls him along as he storms away, practically dragging him away behind him. Sora pulls his arm out of Vanitas’s grasp as they turn a corner, rubbing the spot where Vanitas had been holding clearly far too tight. “Sorry. Xigbar is just so good at pissing me off. Did he hurt you?”

Sora shakes his head awkwardly. “No. I’m fine.”

“Did he say anything-”

“Nothing happened, Vanitas. Just drop it, please,” Sora says, almost snapping, though it’s also soft at the same time. Vanitas can tell his voice is trembling just a bit, and Vanitas is left wondering what the hell Xigbar had been saying to him.

“If he tries anything, you can tell me. I’ll pop out his other eye before he can blink,” Vanitas mutters, and Sora just nods.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas is approached after leaving Sora to head back to his office by one of Xehanort’s Tier 5 demons, Axel. Vanitas huffs a sigh as he approaches, wondering if it’s possible to have just _one_ day where one of his father’s lackeys don’t come for him or Sora in _some_ way.

“Something I can help you with?” Vanitas asks, though he can’t even bring himself to sound annoyed. He’s just tired.

“I would like to file a complaint.”

“About?”

“Demyx.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “This is the third one this month.”

Axel laughs once, aloud. “Surprisingly low for the month, isn’t it?” Vanitas just raises an eyebrow, signalling him to continue. “He took my scalpel.”

“So go get another scalpel.”

Axel rolls his eyes. “Yeah, except he took all the scalpels from storage, too. Said he needs them for some ‘big project’, as if Demyx has ever worked a day in his life. He’s just trying to piss me off.”

“Kick him in the dick?” Vanitas suggests, sarcastically, as he turns his key in the lock on his door.

“Tried that. Didn’t work.”

“Try it again.”

“Oh, come on, boss. Don’t make me go to your dad, he terrifies me, and I’d hate to see Demyx’s _beautiful_ mullet burnt straight off his head. Help me out here, will you?”

Vanitas pushes the door open, signalling Axel to sit in the chair on the visitor’s side of his desk. “You two are becoming a bigger pain in my ass with every year that passes. Honestly, me and a few of the Tier 5’s have a bet going on which of you is going to get their asses fried by an angel first out of sole stupidity.”

“What’s the wager?” Axel asks with a chuckle.

“A Reaper pin,” Vanitas says, hardly able to suppress a smile.

Axel laughs out loud at this. “You’re gonna hand a promotion to the person who guesses right as to whether me or Demyx get ourselves killed first? Ballsy move.”

Vanitas just shrugs, dropping into his chair and putting his feet up on the desk. “Yeah, but Xehanort wouldn’t give any of those guy’s a promotion anyway. Besides, our Reaper count is getting glaringly low. It’s down to, what, the last five?”

Axel nods, looking just a little solemn. Vanitas hates Axel’s tendency to mood switch at the drop of a hat. Axel was always someone Vanitas could go to for a good laugh, but ever since his best friend Saîx died on a Reaper mission for Xehanort years ago, he’d had the bad habit of switching moods as soon as the subject was even alluded to. Vanitas understood, sure, but he hated the mood dampening.

“Anyway, here’s the new official complaint form,” Vanitas says, pulling a huge stack of papers labelled _Axel & Demyx Complaints _ out of a filing cabinet and dropping them on the desk with a loud _bang,_ making Axel jump.

“That’s gotta be, what, 400 pages?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“I had to do some editing after your guy’s incident with the flamethrower.”

Axel nods. “You know what? Fair enough,” he says, standing and picking up the stack of pages. “I’ll have these filled out by tomorrow. Thanks, boss.”

Vanitas sends him off with a nod, his smile fading as soon as the door closes behind Axel. He sighs, leaning his head down on the desk and, despite his best efforts, letting his thoughts trail off to Ventus.

_“I can see there’s some light in you. It’s almost as if someone with a lot of light has touched your heart. There’s no way you’re completely evil.”_

He wonders if Ventus would say the same if he knew the kinds of things he did before Sora came into his life. Vanitas used to be the head of the Physical Torture department, a role usually assigned to Tier 4 demons, despite being a Tier 5 at the time. He stayed in that position for far too long simply because of how much he enjoyed himself. He used to be nearly _exactly_ like Xehanort, best friends with Xigbar and an all-around epitome of the word _demon._ He lets himself go back to that place very rarely, as a reminder of the person he never wants to go back to.

The impulse is there, of course, being essentially a manifestation of negativity, which is why he didn’t exactly argue when Xehanort took him off the field and replaced him with Sora. He hates the thought of Sora having to go through that, but he knows Sora is strong enough to not succumb to the dark impulses that Vanitas once did. Vanitas had even taken down a few angels in his time, and he did it easily, with no hesitation. He loved the darkness, and the darkness loved him.

Would Ventus still think that he isn’t evil if he knew all the things Vanitas had done?

_Why do I ever care what that idiot thinks of me, anyway?_

Vanitas huffs a sigh as he sits up, rubbing his face with his hands and groaning as he hears a knock on his door.

“Office hours are over,” he says, knowing damn well that very few people actually care.

The door opens and Riku steps in, looking a little panicked, Vanitas signalling for him to sit. “Anything I can help you with?” He asks.

“Yeah, I wanted to, uh... Submit a complaint.”

“About?”

“Xigbar.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow, trying to keep the appearance of being calm. Riku doesn’t come to his office often, and Vanitas knows that he’s Sora’s best friend, so he can’t imagine it’s going anywhere good. “What about Xigbar?”

Riku gives Vanitas a nervous look before continuing. “He, uh… He got in a bit of a fight with Sora, and took out his Arrowguns, and, you know… Aimed for the face.”

Vanitas stares at Riku for a few moments, until his anger boils over to the point where he jumps to his feet and storms out of the door, Void Gear already materialized in his hands. Riku takes off after him, and Vanitas doesn’t have to turn around to know he’s got his Keyblade out as well. He throws open the door to Sora’s room, seeing his brother sitting at his desk, holding a rag up to his face. “Where is he?”

“Vani, don’t-”

“Tell me where he is, Sora,” Vanitas growls, and Sora jumps to his feet.

“Vanitas, I’m fine, just let it go-”

“ _Let it go?”_ Vanitas snaps. “He shot you in the face, Sora. I’m not just going to let that go. I’m so _sick_ of him treating you like trash and I’m even more sick of Xehanort allowing it. Xigbar has a bone to pick with me and I’m sick of him taking it out on you.”

“It’s gotten a lot better lately!” Sora says, clearly panicking and trying to calm Vanitas down. “Honestly, he hardly talks to me anymore, I think he’s starting to get bored-”

“Sora, I love you, but _shut up_ . I don’t give a _fuck_ if it’s gotten better, if he’s still _assaulting_ you then I’m going to do something about it. I’m not letting it slide this time.”

“Vani-”

“I’ll kill him,” Vanitas mutters, an unversed popping up in the corner of the room, and Riku swipes his Keyblade through it quickly. Vanitas is too enraged to muster a thank-you, instead choosing to leave Riku with Sora and head off in search of Xigbar himself.

He turns a corner on his search and crashes into his target, though Void Gear instinctually disappears as soon as he sees his father’s eyes.

“What’s wrong, son? You look troubled,” Xehanort says, though Vanitas can sense the mocking in his voice. He stares at the ground, trying to hold back the tears of rage towards Xigbar’s cowardice that start streaming from his face anyway. Of course Xigbar went and found Xehanort, he knew Vanitas would be looking for him. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a trembling breath before responding to his father’s question.  
“Nothing, sir. I’m sorry I walked into you.”

Xehanort places a hand under Vanitas’s chin, angling his head up to meet his father’s eyes while squeezing his face mockingly. He can’t stop his entire body from shaking as he feels his father’s golden eyes boring into him, and Xigbar’s mocking stare from beside him as his father smiles. “Don’t cry, Vanitas. You look pathetic,” he says, throwing Vanitas to the side by the grip he had on his face, and he slams into a wall with a thud as Xehanort and Xigbar walk passed.

 _Pathetic,_ he repeats to himself in his father’s voice, over and over again. He presses his hands to his ears as if it can block out the voices coming from inside his head, over and over again. _Pathetic. You look pathetic._ _You couldn’t even help your brother. Pathetic._

He presses his hands harder and harder over his ears, telling them aloud to _stop_ over and over again out loud, quietly before raising his voice quickly until he’s all but screaming, but even then the voices don’t stop.

_Pathetic, you can’t help Sora, you can’t save him, you’re pathetic._

“ _STOP!”_ He screams, dropping to his knees in the hallway, clawing at his ears as the voices turn to physical pain. He knows deep down that it’s Xigbar’s psychological torture, and it won’t stop until Xigbar decides to stop it.

He puts his head down on the ground, tears streaming down his cheeks as the words turn more and more into physical pain until they’re nearly drowned out by the burning feeling until he feels like he’s going to pass out. He almost fades into welcoming blackness before suddenly everything stops, leaving him panting on the ground with soaked cheeks and a pounding heart.

_Pathetic._


	6. Chapter 6

Vanitas dreams of Sora that night.

He sees his father standing over Sora’s body, keyblade in hand, poised to kill. Sora stares up at him with terror in his eyes, completely helpless as Xehanort prepares to take his life.

Sora has tears streaming down his cheeks, holding his hands up as if he can stop his impending death. Xehanort laughs mockingly, and Vanitas starts to run forward in an attempt to stop his father from murdering his own son.

“What are you doing?” He screams, running as fast as he can before being stopped by some invisible wall keeping him from rescuing his brother. Xehanort turns to look at him with a sickening grin and a hate-filled laugh. “Leave him alone!”

Xehanort turns his attention back to Sora, who’s staring at Vanitas with a look of complete panic. Vanitas is pounding on the barrier, trying to do _anything_ to break it. He summons Void Gear and tries to break it down, and that doesn’t work either. He’s completely helpless as Xehanort slams his keyblade down on Sora, and he screams as his brother’s body goes limp. The barrier drops just then, and he rushes forward, dropping to his knees and trying to shake Sora awake. Xehanort disappears, leaving Sora and Vanitas alone.

He’s screaming in Sora’s face to _wake up!_ over and over again, as if it can change what’s just happened. Vanitas drops his head onto Sora’s blood-stained chest, sobbing, when he hears a muffled “Vanitas?”

His head flies up to look at Sora, who’s eyes slowly open, revealing golden ones instead of the blue ones Vanitas is used to. He doesn’t even have time to process before Sora’s hands are wrapping around his neck, flipping Vanitas onto the ground and kneeling over him, squeezing the life out of him. Vanitas tries to shove him off, slap his arms, kick him, _anything,_ but Sora won’t let go. He’s got the same sickening grin on his face that Xehanort had before he disappeared, and Vanitas can only get out a few words as he feels his throat being crushed. “Sora, this isn’t you,” he squeaks, but Sora just squeezes tighter, until Vanitas almost completely fades out.

He wakes with a start, jumping up in his chair, hands flying instinctually to his throat. He’s heaving, his heart pounding, as he looks around his office, realizing he’d probably fallen asleep in his chair. He sighs, putting his head in his hands and trying to reorient himself to the waking world. It takes him a few minutes to fully calm down, and once he’s regained his sanity, he stands up and leaves his office.

The hallways are all dark, only turning on as they detect motion as he walks through them. He walks down the halls, turning the lights on section by section, until he turns a corner and bumps into Naminé. “Oh, sorry,” he says, groggy.

“It’s alright,” she says, with a small smile. “Long night?”

Naminé is someone who genuinely confuses Vanitas. No other Tier One demon would ever _dare_ try to strike up a conversation with him, mostly because the majority of them are too afraid of him. He doesn’t really care, though he _is_ their boss, so he’s surprised at how someone so new can seem so comfortable with him, but he has to admit he finds it refreshing.

“Yeah, I, uh, crashed in my office. I was just gonna head home.”

“Oh, well, I was just grabbing my things before heading that way, too. Did you want to maybe walk with me?”

Vanitas is about to say no, because it’s his usual reaction when anyone tries to break through his barrier. He’s not accustomed to letting anyone in besides Sora, and he didn’t even really take well to his brother at the beginning, either. For some reason, though, he finds himself agreeing.

He follows Naminé to her work room, letting her grab her things before they set out to their rooms. They walk through hall after hall, seemingly the only ones up at that hour, and though Vanitas is apprehensive at first to start up a conversation, he finds that Naminé is actually a pretty nice person to talk to.

They get to discussing random things, like how long a Tier One demon usually takes to gain enough promotions to be allowed to go to the Mortal Realm. She tells him about how she has very vague memories of when she was a human, and she knows she wasn’t the best because she’s ended up in Hell as a demon, but she only accepted the position in hopes that she would climb the ladder high enough to be able to go up there. Vanitas listens to her while saying very little, because he doesn’t want to admit how much he enjoys being in the Mortal Realm and because he’s, for some reason, genuinely enjoying listening to her talk.

Hell is nothing more than a series of hallways that any unfamiliar person would get lost in within minutes. It took Vanitas forever to figure out the layout, eventually just forcing someone to make maps of the damn place and hang them up on the walls. He knows the route to his room and to his office well, and he’s probably the most knowledgeable about the labyrinth his father created as some sick joke, but even he gets lost sometimes.

“I miss the sunlight,” Naminé says, and Vanitas raises an eyebrow at her.

“You know the sunlight would fry your skin off until you’re a Reaper, right? And even then, you still blister,” he points out, and she shrugs.

“Well, it clearly can’t be that bad, though I’m not sure I’d ever want to be a Reaper. It doesn’t seem… I don’t know, safe?”

Vanitas shrugs. “It isn’t, really. This yours?”

Naminé looks shocked that they’ve already made it to her room, and, to be honest, Vanitas is a little bit disappointed to cut their conversation short.

She takes her key from her pocket and turns the lock, before turning back to Vanitas. “This was nice. You should talk more,” she says, and Vanitas’s natural reaction is to get annoyed by someone saying something as degrading as that, but he forces the feeling away because he can tell she didn’t mean it as an insult.

“I’ll think about it. Goodnight,” he says, digging his hands into his pockets awkwardly as he begins to walk off to his own room.

“Goodnight, Vanitas.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas sleeps in the next day, waking up to someone knocking loudly on his door. He groans, turning over in his bed and covering his ear with a pillow.

“Vanitas! You have a job, you know!”

He groans again, louder, because _clearly_ he wasn’t heard the first time. “I quit!”

“You can’t quit your _birthright,_ ” the voice calls, annoyed.

“You can’t prove I wasn’t adopted!”

“I’m opening this door!”

Vanitas pulls the blankets over his head as the lights flip on, and just as he gets his face covered, the blankets are pulled off his body, instantly regretting giving a spare emergency key to a few of his friends. “You’re going to the guillotine,” he mutters.

Demyx laughs loudly, and Vanitas turns over, cracking one eye open in an attempt to not fry his pupils with the aggressive light. “Alright, Your Majesty, rise and shine. I need you to come settle a spat between me and Axel.”

“I’m demoting you,” Vanitas says, though he pulls himself to his feet, putting on a large hoodie over his shirtless body and sliding his feet into a pair of slippers.

Demyx rolls his eyes. “I’ll die before someone takes this pin from me,” he says, gesturing to the Reaper pin on his lapel.

Vanitas reaches forward as he walks passed and pulls it off of him, putting it into his pocket, much to Demyx’s dismay. Vanitas tries and fails to suppress a smile as he brushes passed Demyx, making his way down to his office as the sound of his slippers dragging on the ground echos off the walls.

He doesn’t even bother waving at Axel, who’s leaning against the wall outside Vanitas’s office door. He brushes passed the redhead, taking his Reaper pin off his lapel as well, ignoring Axel’s arguments, before opening the door to his office and walking in, expecting the two of them to follow him.

“Working in pajama pants and slippers?” Axel asks, and Vanitas just ignores him. He drops into his chair and puts his head down on the desk, waiting for the sounds of Demyx and Axel to sit before saying anything.

“What is it this time?”

They both start speaking at the same time, and Vanitas lets them complain for a few seconds before pulling his head up to look at them with a disgruntled expression. “You two are the bane of my existence.”

“ _Hey!”_ they both yell, offended, and Vanitas chuckles.

“Axel, tell me the issue,” he says, putting his elbows on his desk and his head in his hands.

“Demyx took my knife set. My good one.”

“Demyx, give him back his knife set.”

“I only took it because he took my axe!”

“Axel, give Demyx back his axe.”

“I took his axe because he took my scalpel!”

“Have you guys seriously not resolved the scalpel issue yet?”

Axel and Demyx look at each other before Axel speaks up again. “Yeah, we, uh… We burnt the complaint form.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow. “You… Burnt it?”

“It was an accident!” Demyx says, quickly.

“Yeah, and besides, do you really think we were gonna fill that thing out? It’s like 400 pages,” Axel adds, and Vanitas rolls his eyes, putting his head back down on his desk in defeat.

“If we weren’t down to six Reapers I’d demote you both,” he says, reaching into his pocket and tossing them both their pins, “just give each other their shit back, and if you have another complaint within the week, I’m gonna take all your tools away. Got it?”

Demyx and Axel both grumble in disgruntled agreement. “Good. Now go do your trade-offs, and I don’t want to see you for at _least_ a week unless it’s bringing me lunch.”

They both stand, Axel smacking Demyx in the back of the head as they leave, and Vanitas rolls his eyes as they begin scrapping as they head down the hallway.

He waits until the sounds of their bickering recede before reaching into his filing cabinet and looking around for the _Promotion_ section. He pulls out one of the blank forms and a pen, and gets to filling out the page.

_Name: Naminé._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gave you guys a soft one as an apology for the last few heart wrenchers


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: implied child abuse

_ “Ah, Vanitas, sit down a moment.” _

_ Vanitas closes the door behind him as he drops into the seat opposite his father’s, holding the crown on his head steady from the motion. “What’s this about, pops?” _

_ Xehanort raises an eyebrow at him, though Vanitas couldn’t be bothered to care. “I’ve been thinking about giving you a promotion.” _

_ “Promotion, eh? Gotta be honest here, I’ve grown pretty fond of my current position. And besides, if I get a promotion then who takes over my department? Xigbar? I’d rather Demyx do it, and that’s saying a lot.” _

_ “Demyx is quite… Useless,” Xehanort says, causing Vanitas to let out a harsh laugh, “and Xigbar is far more suited for being the head of the psychological tourture department, a role he is very quickly moving towards taking over, though I don’t think it’d be a bad idea to allow you to continue in your position.” _

_ Vanitas lets out an impressed whistle. “A Tier 5 in a Tier 4 position, eh? You just might be losing your edge.” _

_ Xehanort gives Vanitas an annoyed glance. “I see no reason to move someone from a position they thrive in. Besides, what kind of father would I be if I didn’t allow you to do the things you enjoy? I quite like the comfort I find knowing my own son is taking great care of the physical torture department. Have you finished your monthly stat report, by the way?” _

_ Vanitas reaches into his bag and pulls out a stack of papers, tossing them onto Xehanort’s desk before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Success rates are up 12% since last month. Our death rates are a little high, though. Sorry about that.” _

_ Xehanort nods as he flips through the pages. “Yes, you do tend to go a little overboard sometimes with your techniques. Try and keep the murder level a bit lower.” _

_ Vanitas nods, getting to his feet. “Am I good to go now? I’ve got a lot of stuff on my plate right now.” _

_ His father nods, sending him of with a wave. _

_ “See ya later, dad.” _

 

* * *

 

_ Vanitas walks down the hallway to the sound of screams all around him. He hears one particularly loud person coming from one of the lower levels, Larxene’s, room. He opens her door without bothering to knock, and she shoots a glare over her shoulder as he waltzes in. “Care to knock?” _

_ “Piss off, Larxene,” Vanitas rolls his eyes, pulling himself up onto the counter. “I heard screaming, came to see what you’re up to.” _

_ Larxene turns back around and continues her methods as Vanitas watches intently. He has no real reason to be so intrigued, though he finds himself too intrigued to leave. He feels the darkness he inherited from his father start to swell inside his chest, until he finds he can’t hold it back any longer. “Let me have a go.” _

_ Larxene shoots him another glare, but there’s nothing she can do to argue unless she’d like herself to be Vanitas’s new guinea pig. He takes the tool from her hand and kicks her off of her own chair, sitting on it backwards and wheeling over to the man in Larxene’s chair. He continues where she left off, grinning as the man screams, and as he works he grows closer and closer to manic laughter. He’s completely lost himself in his work, blood splattering in his face as he laughs in response to the man’s screams, his crown falling from his head, but he can’t be bothered to care. He can tell the guy is losing his consciousness until a hand grabs his shoulder and forcibly spins him around in the chair, meeting Larxene’s angry gaze as his joy turns to anger. “What?!” He demands, and for a moment her anger nearly falters into shock, maybe even fear, though she composes herself before Vanitas is even sure of what he saw. _

_ “You’re about to kill him! I’m not letting you off my project again. Get out and let me handle this.” _

_ Vanitas scoffs loudly, getting to his feet and all but throwing her chair back at her. “Fine, go for it,” he snaps, picking his crown up off the ground as he leaves. _

_ He storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her, his adrenaline still pumping. He walks down the hall, passing several lower levels, a few higher levels and even a Reaper as he walks, all of them moving to make way for him as he storms down the hall, placing his crown back on his head. _

 

* * *

 

_ “Vanitas, I have something to show you.” _

_ Xehanort gestures Vanitas into his office, and Vanitas has no idea what it could possibly be as he closes the door behind him, his eyes very quickly landing on the small child sitting in the chair opposite his father’s. _

_ “A kid?” _

_ “Your brother.” _

_ Vanitas raises an eyebrow at his father, unconvinced. “Funny. Who’s the runt?” _

_ “Your brother,” Xehanort repeats, and the kid gives Vanitas a lopsided grin. _

_ Vanitas stares at him for a moment, trying to find any similarities between Xehanort and the kid in front of him. “You expect me to believe that this little kid is related to me? Look at him. He’s got those pathetic blue eyes, no way is that kid our blood.” _

_ “Your eyes were blue when you were born, as well,” Xehanort points out lazily, and Vanitas rolls his eyes. _

_ “I know that. But, luckily for me, I ditched those at my first chance. You’re really gonna stand there and tell me that I’m related to  _ **_that_ ** _? And where did he come from, anyway? You knock up one of your front desk ladies? This kid’s, what, 5 years old already?” He should probably be more shocked that his father is dumping an entire sibling on him like this, but Vanitas honestly figured it was only a matter of time before Xehanort’s shit caught up to him. Besides, maybe having a brother to hang out with will turn out to be more tolerable than any of the idiots who he’s forced to interact with on a daily basis _

_ “I don’t have time to argue with you, Vanitas. From this point I need you to watch over him. I don’t have time, and I’m sure all of the higher demons would be itching at the chance to take out such a young, defenceless heir.” _

_ Too bad for them, because Vanitas has one of the firmest grasps on the darkness out of any of the demons in the Dark Realm, making him near impossible to even scratch. Even if that weren’t the case, though, Vanitas’s bloodthirsty tendencies were nothing close to a secret. Everyone below and above him in status knows that Vanitas would take them out without a second thought if they tried to cross him. He’s done it a few times, and he’s made sure to make an example of it. One of the old Reapers, Vexen, figured he could try Vanitas once, and it ended up with him being burnt alive in front of the rest of the Reapers.  _

_ Nobody would dare to test Vanitas’s sadistic tendencies. Everyone is afraid of him, and he likes it that way. _

_ He stares down at the kid who looks up at him with sea-blue eyes, not even bothering to hide his disgusted face at how hopeful the kid looks. Vanitas doesn’t have many friends, because he finds no matter what, he always seems to find himself looking down on everyone, even those who are technically his superiors. A brother would be an equal. A second son of the king. Vanitas could use this to his advantage. It’s this reason he finds himself willingly choosing to ignore the fact that Xehanort seems to have pulled a brother out of his ass. _

_ “I guess I’ll take it upon myself to break this kid in.” _

_ Xehanort just shrugs. “Do as you see fit. I would appreciate you making him stronger, but please, son, don’t kill him.” _

_ Vanitas just rolls his eyes. “If he’s really my brother, I’ll make sure he’s stronger than everyone down here besides myself. First things first, I’m getting to work on those eyes.” _

_ Xehanort sighs, though he doesn’t look up from his papers. “Good luck.” _

_ “Let’s go, kid,” Vanitas mutters, turning to leave, expecting the brown haired boy to follow. _

_ “I have a name, you know,” the kid squeaks, and Vanitas almost instinctively knocks him upside the head for talking back, though something in the kid’s blue eyes stops him. _

_ “And that is?” He asks lazily. _

_ “Sora.” _

_ Vanitas pauses for a moment. “Alright, Sora. Let’s see what you’re made of.” _

 

* * *

 

_ Despite months of trying, Vanitas couldn’t find anyway to break Sora’s eye color in. He can’t even come close. He tries every method that worked on him, and still nothing. No matter what he does, Sora keeps his bright blue eyes and even brighter personality. Seriously, Vanitas hasn’t ever met someone so painfully optimistic in his entire 300 years of life. But, for whatever reason, he just can’t break Sora. _

_ He decides the kid’s earned a break after a training session leaves Vanitas panting and Sora completely energized. He refuses to admit how defeated he’s beginning to feel at this kid being his most impossible to break client ever. No matter what he does to him, what he shows him, Sora just won’t budge. It’s as if he has some barrier keeping the darkness out. _

_ “Here, eat,” Vanitas says, tossing a lunch he’d prepared for Sora that morning. The kid jumps up onto the bench to sit beside Vanitas, who takes out his own lunch. _

_ “How am I doing, Vanitas?” Sora asks, and Vanitas rolls his eyes. _

_ “You’re doing great, Sora. Absolutely wonderful. It’s driving me insane.” _

_ “You know, one day, I wanna become a Reaper. Do you think I could ever become a one?” _

_ Vanitas rolls his eyes again at the question. “Kid, I’m Xehanort’s first born and even  _ **_I’m_ ** _ not a Reaper yet. Give it 500 years or so.” _

_ Sora just shrugs. “Okay.” _

_ Vanitas scoffs in annoyance at how much this kid doesn’t seem to be bothered by anything. No matter what, that stupid lopsided smile stays on his face and Vanitas wants nothing more than to wipe it off. “You’re something else, kid.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “I’ve never had a pupil so dead set on not allowing the darkness in.” _

_ Sora is quiet for a moment. “Well, I’ve tried. I don’t think I can do it. Why is darkness something I need? Can’t I just do my job without it?” _

_ Vanitas is about to give him a snide remark about how  _ **_of course he needs the darkness,_ ** _ but he stops because he can’t think of a reason Sora needs the darkness either besides the fact that it’s just what’s done, so he shrugs. “I don’t know.” _

_ “What’s your job, Vanitas?” Sora asks, completely off-subject, much to Vanitas’s annoyance. _

_ “Head of the physical torture department.” _

_ “Cool!” Sora exclaims, causing Vanitas to laugh out loud because Sora has absolutely no idea what that entails. _

_ “Yeah, sure. It’s alright, I guess.” _

_ “I’ve never been the head of anything! You must be pretty amazing to be that important. Maybe one day I’ll get better than you and I’ll get to be the head of the physical department.” _

_ “Physical  _ **_torture_ ** _ department,” Vanitas corrects, and Sora just nods. _

_ “Yeah, that too!” _

_ Vanitas looks over at him as he stuffs his face with his lunch, and he can’t help but crack a tiny smile. “You know, kid, you’re alright.” _

_ “You’re alright too, Vanitas!” Sora grins, mouth full, and Vanitas laughs, shoving him lightly in the shoulder. _

_ “Don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s gross.” _

_ Sora swallows quickly, then gives a determined nod in response. “Right. I won’t get to be the head of the Physical department by being gross, right?” _

_ Vanitas smiles down at him for a moment, knowing deep down this kid will probably never be mentally strong enough to handle Vanitas’s job, but instead of arguing he finds himself nodding. “Right.” _

 

* * *

 

Vanitas knocks on Sora’s door lightly, his brother jumping just a little as he looks up. “Hey, Vani. What’s up?”

“Just coming to check on you,” Vanitas says, sitting on Sora’s torture chair and folding his hands in his lap awkwardly. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Sora says almost too quickly, though he doesn’t turn to look at Vanitas. “I’m good.”

“I meant to ask you something,” Vanitas says awkwardly, and Sora turns around in his chair to signal him to keep going. “I was just wondering how Xigbar’s been since the Arrowgun incident.”

Sora hesitates for a moment before responding. “He’s been fine. Respectful, even.”

Vanitas doesn’t fully believe him, but he can tell Sora doesn’t want him to press the issue. “That’s good. I’m glad you guys are…. Getting along,” he says, though the thought of even saying it after everything that Xigbar’s done to Sora makes his stomach churn. “I was also thinking maybe me and you could head upstairs in the next couple days? It’s been a while since we-”

“I’m pretty busy for the next few days,” Sora cuts him off, turning back around in his chair, his back to Vanitas.

“Oh, uh, okay. Maybe next week?”

Sora just shrugs. “Maybe.”

Vanitas is silent, hoping Sora will say something, anything else. He doesn’t, leaving Vanitas feeling like his heart is in his shoes. “Alright. Let me know if you get a free afternoon, then.”

“I don’t get a lot of free afternoons. None of the department heads do, you should know that, it used to be  _ your  _ job. And just because all you do is sign papers doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t have work to do. I’m busy dealing with finding Naminé a new room now that she’s been promoted to Tier 2, and I just have a lot on my plate right now. I’ll let you know,” Sora almost snaps, still not turning to look at Vanitas.

“Alright then,” Vanitas whispers, getting up and walking out of Sora’s office. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sora.”

Sora doesn’t respond, and Vanitas just closes the door behind him.

Sora had been acting off ever since Vanitas had confronted Xigbar after the Arrowgun incident, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. Sora had never had an issue with Vanitas defending him before, so he had no idea why there’s suddenly an issue now. He makes a mental note to interrogate Riku next time he sees him, before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking back to his office.

 

* * *

 

_ Vanitas hadn’t seen Sora in two days after leaving him with Xigbar for a while so that he could get some work done. He’d been neglecting the physical torture department ever since he’d taken Sora on as a project, and he really needed a few days to catch up. He was grateful to Xigbar for volunteering, allowing him to do all of his catch-up work within two days. _

_ He heads to Xigbar’s office to pick Sora up and bring him to his own room which is temporarily set up as Sora’s makeshift room as well. He knocks on the door, and it takes a few moments before the door opens. When it does, Xigbar stands there, greeting him, Sora at his side, and the younger boy slowly and tiredly walks towards Vanitas without a word. _

_ “Thanks again, Xigbar,” Vanitas says after a short conversation, the door closing as Xigbar waves to Sora, who’s all but hiding behind Vanitas’s leg. _

_ “Ready to go, kid?” Vanitas asks with a soft smile, and Sora won’t even look up at him. “Hey, Sora, you okay?” _

_ Sora nods, but still, no verbal response. _

_ “What’s up, kiddo?” Vanitas asks, crouching down to meet Sora’s eye level. _

_ “Nothing. I just wanna go home,” Sora whispers, refusing to meet Vanitas’s eyes, though he can hear the trembling in his voice. _

_ “Sora, what happened?” He asks, and Sora just shakes his head. _

_ “I wanna go home.” _

_ The boy walks off without another word, holding his hands into his chest, and Vanitas watches him walk off for a moment, then sends a concerned glance over his shoulder at Xigbar’s room before getting to his feet and chasing after his younger brother. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vanitas and xehanort getting along and vanitas referring to him as "dad" is vomit inducing tbh  
> sorry about the decently dark turn this one got. i've been doing my best to not go ridiculously dark with this story, but there's only so much i can leave to the imagination.  
> follow me on twitter!! @keybiaders


	8. Chapter 8

_There._

Vanitas spots the fallen angel from a little ways away, summoning Void gear into his hand and stalking towards him. As he gets closer he senses a third presence in close proximity as well, an unmistakable aura of an angel. The pure light makes him scrunch his nose in disgust, noticing that the odor is especially _pungent._ He chooses to ignore it as he gets close enough to strike. He dematerializes himself to hide his aura as he rushes in, taking a swipe at the fallen angel who notices him at the last second, slashing back with his own weapon and taking Vanitas’s feet out from under him.

 _I’m off my game_ , he thinks to himself, dodging out of the way just as the fallen angel slams his blade down on the ground. It probably has something to do with his thoughts constantly circling back to Sora. Vanitas leaps to his feet, jumping at the fallen angel who sidesteps him easily.

“Damn,” Vanitas mutters to himself, leaping again and again, the guy dodging all of his attacks easily, raising Vanitas’s frustration with every time his attacks miss. He eventually gets his own hit on Vanitas, sending him to the ground. The fallen angel stands above him, blade about to stab through Vanitas’s body just as the he stops, suddenly coughing up a mouthful of blood onto Vanitas’s face and dropping to the ground next to him. Vanitas lays there in shock until the guy falls, revealing Ventus standing there, keyblade in hand.

“Ventus, right?” Vanitas asks, completely unimpressed by the blonde standing over him.

“That’s right,” Ventus nods, holding out his hand to help Vanitas up. He ignores it, pulling himself to his feet alone. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Vanitas mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets as if it can hide the embarrassment he feels at being saved by an _angel._ Not only an angel, but an angel in training. He’d by lying if he said his ego isn’t completely bruised.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Ventus says sarcastically.

Vanitas rolls his eyes as he brushes the dirt off his body. “I could have handled it myself.”

Ventus scoffs loudly, glaring at him. “You were about to die.”

“I’ve handled worse, and I don’t need help from an angel in training.” Vanitas responds, crossing his arms.

“ _Cherub,”_ Ventus corrects with annoyance clear in his tone, as if Vanitas would have _any_ reason to know that. “You know what? Next time I’ll let you die,” Ventus says, turning to walk away.

“That very noble of you,” Vanitas calls after him, just a little mockingly, causing the blonde to whip around.

“I don’t have to be _noble_ when it comes to demons. Or, sorry, whatever the fuck you are. I literally just saved your life, and not only did you not say thank you, you tried to _argue_ with me over it. What kind of person are you?”

“A demon?” Vanitas raises an eyebrow, and it’s as if smoke literally blows out of Ventus’s ears.

“ _You’re not a demon!”_ He yells, and Vanitas almost cracks a smile at how much this kid is _fuming._

“Technically, we’re all demons. There’s just different orders,” he shrugs, making sure to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Ventus glares at him for a few more moments before turning back around, storming off again.

Vanitas laughs, picking up a jog to catch up to him. As he gets closer, Ventus summons his keyblade and whips around, clearly trying to take Vanitas’s head off, but it’s such an expected move that Vanitas easily bats it away with his own.

“Will you leave me alone?!” Ventus yells in his face, and Vanitas leans back, feeling just a little too close to his face.

“I didn’t ask you to come rushing in to save me! I told you I could have handled it! You don’t get to be mad at me for not being thankful that you stuck your nose in on a situation where it didn’t belong!” Vanitas yells back, his entertainment with Ventus’s angry demeanor suddenly changing to annoyance.

Ventus lets out a harsh laugh, taking a step towards Vanitas in a pitiful attempt to seem intimidating. Vanitas doesn’t lean back this time, standing his ground against this pain in the ass angel. “You are, by far, the most self absorbed person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

“I’m a _demon,_ what did you expect?!”

“All I wanted was a _thank you!”_ Ventus screams, getting right into Vanitas’s face.

He hesitates for one moment, before taking a step back and forcing himself to calm down, feeling the darkness in him starting to come out. He knows exactly where this situation is heading, and he isn’t fond of letting the darkness surface unless he needs it to. “Fine. Thank you,” he says, biting back annoyance.

Ventus blinks once in confusion, clearly not expecting that. “You’re welcome.”

Vanitas shoves his hands into his pockets, turning away from Ventus as he fights internally with his own darkness. “We done here?”

He doesn’t get a response at first. When Ventus finally answers, his voice is soft. “I guess.” Vanitas goes to walk off, stopping when he hears Ventus call his name. He turns as the blonde catches up to him, a confused look on his face. “Why were you fighting him, anyway? Don’t you guys… Rehabilitate fallen angels?”

Vanitas just shrugs. “Sometimes. Only if they come to us willingly, really. I’m not in the business of letting fallen angels run rampant around the mortal realm, so if they don’t come to us, I usually take it upon myself to exterminate them. Save you guys the trouble. It keeps the peace.”

“Between Heaven and Hell?”

Vanitas nods. “Yeah. We’re pretty much always on the verge of war. Xehanort would probably love the opportunity to attack you guys, which is why me and my brother tend to try to stay away from any angels we come into contact with. I don’t always have the best control over the darkness in me, and I don’t want to lose control and take out an angel and be the feather that tips the scale, you know? So I try to take out any conflicts of interest as they arise.”

Ventus looks pensive for a moment before nodding. “I guess that makes sense. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Angels are taught forgiveness from a very young age. I’ve never been the best at it, but I’m trying. It’s part of the trials Cherubs have to go through to become Seraphim. Maybe you’ll be a good place to start.”

Vanitas can’t think of a good answer for the statement, so he chooses to just not say anything.

“Are you still studying the light?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas is a little shocked by the question.

“Uh, yeah, a little. I’ve been thinking a lot about something you said to me the last time I saw you. You said you could see there’s some light in me, as if someone with a lot of light had… Touched my heart. I can’t make sense of it, because I don’t know anyone besides you who has any light within them.”

Ventus just shrugs. “It’s true. I don’t believe for a second that you’re truly evil. Annoying, maybe, and a bit of a dick, but… Not evil.”

“All due respect, blondie, but that’s _literally_ impossible. Humans may be able to somehow balance light and darkness, but it doesn’t work that way for us. I’ve been alive for 400 years and I’ve never once met a demon who isn’t made of complete darkness.”

Ventus doesn’t look convinced. “Maybe we’re more like them than you’d like to think. After all, you guys make humans into demons sometimes, right?” Vanitas nods, his thoughts going to Naminé and her desire to see sunlight again. “So is it that hard to believe that the world isn’t what you’ve been raised to think it is?”

Vanitas chooses to ignore his question in favor of asking his own. “You said you don’t believe in God, right?”

Ventus just shrugs. “I just don’t think blind faith is a good way of living life. I like to form my own opinions based on my own experiences. As of now, I believe more in you having light in your heart than I do in the God that Eraqus claims to speak to being real.”

Vanitas lets out an impressed whistle. “You are… Something else.”

Ventus smiles just a bit. “I just have half a brain, unlike some angels up there.  Terra used to be a good person to talk to about this stuff, before he became a Seraph. Now I don’t really have anyone to talk to. It can get pretty isolating.”

“I know how that feels,” Vanitas sighs. “All I really have to talk to down there is my brother.”

Ventus pauses for a moment. “Well, I see no real reason as to why we can’t be friends.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him, completely dumbfounded. “No reason?”

Ventus laughs. “No reason that I care about. Like I said, I form my own opinions. And I think you’re alright, Kara.”

Vanitas nods, though for some reason he can’t bring himself to look Ventus in the eyes as he refers to him by the fake name he gave to Terra out of fear that he’d find out Vanitas’s true identity. Something in him is telling him to come clean, but the part of him that’s grown to not trust anyone besides Sora is telling him to just keep his mouth shut.

“What do you say? Friends?” Ventus asks, a hopeful smile painted across his porcelain features as he holds out his hand.

Vanitas was never any good at making friends, but seeing Ventus smiling, a genuine smile, something he never really sees in the dark realm, he can’t find it in him to say no.

Vanitas takes his hand, and they shake on it.

“Friends.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is all vanven. thanks for being patient.

Sora continuously avoids Vanitas despite his desperate efforts to hang onto their suffering relationship.

He tries everything, from inviting him to lunch with Axel and Demyx to trying to convince Riku to drag him out of his office, and it gets to a point where Vanitas can’t help but wonder if Xehanort or Xigbar had something to do with it.

He knocks on Sora’s time for the third time that week, knowing he probably won’t receive an answer. He stands there, hoping for an answer, when he hears someone talking to him from down the hall. “He won’t talk to you.”

He looks over at Riku, raising a confused eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

Riku shrugs, walking over to Vanitas. “He won’t talk to anyone. I’ve never seen him seem to dedicated to a job he hates in the 80 years we’ve been friends. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but it’s like he’s a completely different person.”

“Do you think-”

“Do I think Xigbar has something to do with it? Obviously, but I have no proof. Which is why I came to find you,” Riku says, interrupting Vanitas which would have effectively gotten anyone  _ except  _ Riku punished.

“You got a plan?”

“Obviously,” Riku repeats, brushing passed Vanitas, clearly expecting him to follow. Vanitas picks up a jog for a second to catch up to Riku, walking beside him as he speaks. “I don’t work in the Psychological department for nothing. I know how Xigbar works, he’s the one who trained me.”

“Xigbar’s a Tier 4, and not for nothing. He’s equal to Sora, and you’re… What? Tier 2?”

“3, don’t undermine me,” Riku retorts, and Vanitas clenches his fists in order to not snap at him for being disrespectful. Vanitas isn’t used to not having complete compliance and respect from everyone lower than him, and Riku is really pushing it. He excuses it because he knows he’s just concerned about Sora, but he makes a mental note to put him in his place as soon as everything’s sorted out.

“You can’t use your powers against your superior, Riku,” Vanitas sighs, “It doesn’t work that way.”

“Maybe not, but you can.”

Vanitas stops dead. “What?”

Riku stops, turning to raise an eyebrow at Vanitas. “You want to kill him anyway. We both know damn well that he’s been fucking with Sora’s head. I don’t know what exactly he’s doing, but it’s been enough to turn him into a complete shut-in, which isn’t Sora. I know you see it, and I know you know what’s going on.”

“That doesn’t mean we can kill him,” Vanitas says. “I can make up a demotion request form-”

“Enough with the forms, Vanitas!” Riku snaps. “You used to be the head of the physical torture department, and you used to be the  _ sole _ reason for most of the deaths in that department. What has Xehanort turned you into, huh? You think you’re nothing but a  _ desk mouse?  _ You’re a  _ demon,  _ don’t forget that. Just because he’s scared of you becoming stronger than him doesn’t mean you should let go of the darkness. The darkness is what makes us strong. Xigbar is completely out of line, and you know it. You have the power to change it, but you’re too scared of your  _ daddy  _ to do anything about it. You’ve gone soft,  _ your majesty.  _ It’s time to put the crown back on. You’re the damn first born Prince of Hell, and it’s time you start acting like it!”

Vanitas gives Riku one hard punch in the face, his fist shrouded by a dark cloud. Riku doesn’t react for a moment, but when he does, he just cracks a smile.

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas throws the door to Xigbar’s room open, Void Gear already summoned into his hand.

Xigbar sits at his desk, feet up, scribbling on a piece of paper. He looks up as Vanitas stands in the doorway, greeting him with a smile. “Hey there, chief. What brings you in?”

“Sora,” Vanitas mutters, closing the door behind him with his foot. “I want you to leave him alone.”

Xigbar lets out a harsh laugh, dragging his eyes up to Vanitas’s. “What could you possibly mean?”

“I know you’ve been fucking with is head. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but it’s done now. Unless you wanna lose that other eye, I suggest you leave Sora  _ alone.” _

Xigbar laughs again, mockingly, as he gets to his feet. “I don’t know where you got that idea from. Me and Sora got into a spat because he was stepping on my toes, trying to steal some of my demons from my department. I didn’t want to go through you because I knew you’d favor him, so I took it into my own hands. Anything he’s done after that is all on his own accord.”

“You expect me to believe that my own brother refuses to look me in the eyes and it has nothing to do with you?” Vanitas scoffs. “Leave him alone, Xigbar. Or you can deal with me.”

“And then you can deal with your old man, right?” Xigbar asks, making a point of using his height against Vanitas. Vanitas isn’t tall by any means, standing at a stunted 5’4”, but he’s never felt like it’s something that can be used against him. Xigbar may stand at 6’whatever, but Vanitas isn’t scared of him. “Anything happens to me, who do you think would be the first person he’d suspect?”

Vanitas glares at him, grinding his teeth. “I’m his first born. I’m also your  _ superior.” _

Xigbar gives him a menacing smirk. “You really think that matters? As if. Your position isn’t real, kid, and I can do whatever I want. You wanna know why?”

Vanitas doesn’t answer, so Xigbar keeps talking.

“Because I know the truth about your brother.”

Vanitas looks up at him, confused. “What do you mean, the truth?”

“If you really want to keep him safe, I’d recommend leaving me alone from now on. Got it, boss?”

Vanitas is left standing there absolutely confused as to what Xigbar could possibly know about Sora. Something Vanitas clearly doesn’t know, otherwise he wouldn’t have used it as leverage. He takes a deep breath before turning and walking out of the room without another word.

“How’d it go?” Riku asks as Vanitas walks passed him. He doesn’t answer, and he can hear Riku pick up a jog behind him until he’s walking beside Vanitas. “What happened?”

“I need to talk to Sora.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas doesn’t bother knocking on Sora’s office door. If he’s in there, he knows he won’t respond.

Sora looks up from his desk, looking absolutely exhausted. “Ever heard of knocking?”

“I never knock,” Vanitas responds. “When was the last time you slept?”

Sora shrugs, wiping his eyes. “I dunno. Why?”

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks,” he says, noticing how the scar across Sora’s cheek from Xigbar’s attack has barely healed. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“Alright, dad,” Sora mutters, turning back to his desk, as if their father would  _ ever  _ say something with half an ounce of concern for his sons. “I’ll get some sleep once I finish these papers. Anything else I can help you with, or did you just storm in here to tell me to sleep?”

Vanitas has to physically bite his tongue to resist snapping at Sora for being such an ass. He knows it’s Xigbar’s doing, but he can’t hide the hurt he feels at his brother snapping at him, and he finds himself turning it into annoyance because that’s the only way he knows how to deal with hurt. “I came in to ask you something. I, uh… I spoke to Xigbar.” Sora doesn’t respond, he doesn’t even make any inclination that he heard what Vanitas said, so he just continues talking. “He said something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Which is?”

“He said he… Knows the truth about you. What did he mean by that?”

Sora turns around in his chair, looking concerned. “I have no idea. Why would he say that?”

“That’s what I’m asking you,” Vanitas says, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at Sora.

The brown-haired boy just shakes his head, though he refuses to meet Vanitas’s eyes. “I don’t know anything about that. Maybe he’s just trying to screw with you. You know how he is,” Sora says, and Vanitas nods. He knows Xigbar’s ways better than anyone. The two of them used to be best friends, back when Xigbar had just taken over as the head of the Psychological Torture Department, and Vanitas still held his position in the Department opposite.

“You really have no idea what he meant when he said he knows the  _ truth about you _ ? Are you hiding something from me?”

“Of course not,” Sora snaps.

Vanitas has to put it a ridiculous amount of effort to not raise his voice. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I have nothing to tell you,” Sora says, turning back to his desk again, “now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.”

Vanitas waits for a moment, wondering if he should say something else. It’s killing him inside having Sora not want him around, and not having any idea why. He knows it has something to do with Xigbar getting into his brother’s head somehow, but there’s no way he can prove it with Sora being so unwilling to work with him and Xigbar having some kind of dirt on Sora, he’s essentially made himself untouchable.

He turns to leave, turning the doorknob when Sora speaks up again. “Vanitas?” He jumps, a hopeful feeling in his chest, thinking maybe Sora had changed his mind.

Instead, Sora just stomps on his already crushed heart.

“Next time, knock.”

Vanitas doesn’t say a word as he opens the door, resisting every urge to slam it behind him. He closes it quietly, hesitating with his hand on the doorknob for a few moments before digging his hands into his pockets and walking away.


	10. Chapter 10

“What is it this time?”

Vanitas sits at his desk, hands folded, resting his chin on them. He’s exhausted, having not gotten much sleep for the past few nights. Axel and Demyx start talking immediately, and Vanitas doesn’t care to listen to them squabble. He picks up a paperweight from his desk, lazily throwing it at the space between them, going straight through the glass on his door. It shatters, causing Axel and Demyx to go completely silent.

“One of you only. Speak.”

“Axel took my Reaper pin.”

“Axel, give him back his Reaper pin.”

“I only took it because he took mine!”

“Then just keep each other’s. I don’t see the issue here.”

Axel shrugs, dropping down onto one of Vanitas’s two guest chairs. “It’s all about the sentiment. I got mine first. It has more value.”

“You can’t buy- whatever. Do whatever you guys want, honestly. I’m tired of solving all your debates.”

“You feeling alright, boss?” Axel asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

Vanitas nods, putting his head in his hands, trying to think of anything but Sora. His thoughts tread off in the direction of Ventus, and how he hadn’t seen him since their friendship agreement. He knows the blonde hangs out in the Mortal Realm a lot, and decides to head up later on in the day to see if he can run into him. “I’m fine. Tired. Specifically tired of you two. Can you just solve this yourselves,  _ please?  _ You’re the highest level of superiority out of everyone down here, you should really be acting like it. I don’t want any of the lower levels thinking they can behave like you guys. I let you off the hook because I like you two, but you’re slowly dropping on my list.”

Demyx nods, looking a little worried, but he knows Axel can see straight through him. Vanitas dismisses them, and Axel looks like he wants to press. Vanitas is grateful when he doesn’t.

He likes Demyx and Axel, which is the only reason the two of them are Reapers in the first place. Despite having far more superiority than an average demon, the job of a Reaper can be far easier on the mind. The Reapers are the ones who take the lives of the humans on Earth before their natural end arrives, so they spend most of their time seeking out evil people in the Mortal Realm, and taking their lives. It’s rare to find someone who’s evil enough for a Reaper to have to step in, which is why Axel and Demyx spend most of their time slacking off. Two of the other Reapers, Marluxia and Zexion, are far better at their jobs than Axel and Demyx. The other two usually pick up Axel and Demyx’s slack, and Vanitas knows how annoyed they can get, and if it were anyone else he’d replace them, but he has a bit of a soft spot for the two idiots who’d just left his office.

He’d consider the two of them the closest thing he has to friends. But Vanitas doesn’t have friends, he’s never felt the need. He’s always had Sora, but now that his brother seemingly wants nothing to do with him, he’s felt less against the idea of making a friend or two. Perhaps that’s why he agreed to be Ventus’s friend, if not for his sea-blue eyes that remind him so much of Sora. And, sure, he’s pretty. He has skin that looks like it’s made of marble, and Vanitas never knew how much one person’s hair could resemble the sunlight that’s always caused him to burn. Maybe the fact that Vanitas keeps finding himself staring at this boy who was  _ literally  _ crafted in Heaven despite the fact that he’s never really felt attraction to anyone before. He’s been alive for 400 years, and in all that time he’s had one fling, a guy named Hayner who entertained him for a short while, back when Hayner was the head of the Physical Torture Department, before Xigbar took over. He hadn’t really cared when Hayner told him about how he was upset by it, and their relationship had swiftly ended. He’s been with a girl named Olette ever since, and Vanitas could never really be bothered to care. He’d been entertainment, nothing more.

Ventus, however, interests him. In the back of his head, Vanitas knows a lot of the reason he’d accepted Ventus’s friendship proposal besides needing to fill the void Sora left and him being otherworldly attractive is the fact that he’s  _ intriguing.  _ An angel who doesn’t believe in god is something Vanitas cannot wrap his head around no matter how hard he tries. That combined with the fact that the blonde is persistent in his belief that someone in Vanitas’s life has a heart of light enough to add light into Vanitas’s own. It’s impossible, he knows, because everyone he knows is a demon. There’s not a single person, even the nice ones, who could have an ounce of light within them. Despite this, Ventus’s determination of the fact makes him wonder if maybe, just maybe, it could be true. But  _ who? _ He thinks about this until the end of his work day, immediately setting off to Xehanort’s office.

He waits around the corner until he hears the lock click, looking around the corner and watching his father walk off. He waits until the old man is out of sight before pulling his own key to his father’s office out of his pocket, letting himself in. He closes the door behind him, relocking it, before stepping into the portal to find Ventus.

He tracks him down without much trouble. He’s in a different country than Vanitas originally landed, Italy, where he’d met him the first time. He steps through the portal to stand next to Ventus, who’s staring at a house slowly burning to the ground. “Hey,” Ventus says rather apathetically, as the two of them watch the house engulf in flames.

“What are you doing here?” Vanitas asks, looking over at Ventus. The blonde has tears streaming down his face, and Vanitas has absolutely no idea why.

“They’re gonna lose everything,” Ventus whispers. “Everything. Their father isn’t going to live. I wish I could do something.”

“Death is… Inevitable,” Vanitas says, looking back at the house. “The second they’re born, the time of their death gets set. There’s no avoiding it, it’s fate. Their lives can be cut short, but there’s no way to extend them. It’s just how it is.”

“He’s a good man,” Ventus says, shaking his head. “They just had a baby.”

“The world is cruel. It’s a cycle. He’s coming to you, though.”

Ventus looks over at Vanitas, surprised. “How do you know that? People get judged after they die, that’s what Purgatory is for.”

Vanitas just shrugs. “Trust me on this one.”

Ventus stares at him for a moment before sniffling. “Okay,” he nods, putting his head on Vanitas’s shoulder as the two of them watch the home collapse. Vanitas is a little taken aback at Ventus touching him, but he resists the urge to move. Is this how all angels are? So trusting?

They stand there for a few more moments before Ventus stands up again, wiping his face. “I hope you’re right. About the father.”

Vanitas gives him an awkward smile. “Trust me. You’ll see him soon.”

Ventus narrows his eyes at Vanitas, who averts his gaze and digs his hands into his pockets. “You’re different from other demons I’ve met, you know.”

Vanitas just shrugs, looking back to the remains of the house. “I don’t know about that.”

“You are,” Ventus persists. “You claim you don’t understand the light, but it’s in you. I swear it is.”

Vanitas just shakes his head. “I’m not who you think I am, then.”

Ventus just shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter. We’re friends, right? I think I know you pretty well at this point. You may be persistent that you’re some creature of darkness, but I see something in you, Kara. You’re worth saving.”

“You’ve said that before,” Vanitas muses.

“It’s true. That, and it’s quite literally my job to believe that people are worth saving.”

“You’d think that clause wouldn’t extend as far as demons,” Vanitas chuckles to himself as he begins walking away from the home, starting to get uncomfortable by it.

Ventus walks after him, having to jog for a moment to catch up. “Why are you so adamant to fight me on this?”

“Why are you so adamant that the light has touched my heart?” Vanitas asks. “Why are you so determined to save me in particular?”

Ventus shrugs. “I see something in you.”

“You’re naïve,” Vanitas responds.

“And you’re a self-loathing pessimist. I think we make a great pair.”

Vanitas can’t hold down the amused smile that Ventus’s retort causes. He looks over at the trees and bites the inside of his lip as he holds down a chuckle. “You’re pretty bold, you know.”

Ventus just shrugs. “I just don’t feel like taking your shit. I like to put people in their places. That’s what friends do, right?”

Vanitas laughs. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I wouldn’t really know. I’ve never… Had a friend.”

Ventus raises his eyebrows at him. “Not a single friend? Ever?”

Vanitas shrugs again. “Nobody other than my brother. There’s a few people whose presences I can stand for longer than an hour, but that’s it.”

“Well, you have me. If you have any deep dark secrets you want to get off your chest, I’m all ears.”

“I’m an open book,” Vanitas replies, which is a blatant lie coming from someone who Ventus doesn’t even know the real name of.

Ventus raises an eyebrow. “How about an identity, then?”

Vanitas just sighs. “You’re persistent.”

“I’m dedicated. Are you ever gonna tell me, or am I gonna continue being friends with someone who I know absolutely nothing about?”

“Nothing about, huh? Well, here, let me fix that. I’m 422 years old, I have a younger brother, one friend, and a lifetime of misery under my belt. I used to be the head of the Physical Torture Department in the Dark Realm, before rescinding my duties because the job started causing too much stress. Now I just do paperwork, live my daily life and the only thing that seems to bring any hope to my days at this point is coming up here and running into you, because you seem to be the only person who isn’t… Afraid of me.”

Ventus mulls this over for a moment before responding. “My turn?”

Vanitas nods, signalling him to go on.

“My name’s Ventus, I’m 103 years old, making me one of the youngest Cherubs to go through Seraph training by over 50 years. I have one younger brother, Roxas, and my best friend is Terra- and I suppose you now, too. That makes two. My father is the right hand man of God himself, Master Eraqus. He’s Heaven’s King Regent, he runs everything.”

Vanitas blinks once in shock. “Heaven's King Regent?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I feel like the weight of my position is so heavy on my shoulders that I can’t even stand. It’s really tough, being the first born son of the most powerful man in Heaven other than  _ God.  _ It’s scary, you know? I’m still just a Cherub. I’ve got years of training before I can become a full angel, and once that happens, I’ll take over as military captain and, eventually, I’ll take over for Eraqus. I don’t even know if that’s what I want.”

Vanitas stares at him, wide-eyed and completely unsure of how to respond.  _ First born son of Heaven’s King Regent.  _ How the fuck did Vanitas manage to get so God damn unlucky to make friends with the one person he should be mortal enemies with? Vanitas is the first born son of the king of Hell, and if Ventus is the first born son of the King Regent of Heaven, they have absolutely no business being friends. None at all. Ventus would probably agree, if he knew a damn thing about Vanitas. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t even know his real  _ name.  _ He feels his heart rate start to pick up, staring at Ventus until the blonde snaps his fingers in front of Vanitas’s face.

“You okay?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas panics.

“Me? Yeah, of course! Absolutely fine, why do you ask?”

“Cause you look like you just saw a ghost.”

“I’ve seen plenty of ghosts,” Vanitas says with a forced laugh.

“Are you uncomfortable with me being Eraqus’s son? I’ll understand if you are. I was a little apprehensive to tell you because I didn’t want you thinking differently of me, but I started feeling really guilty about it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Vanitas can feel the Earth spinning underneath him, he always can, but it feels as though it’s going to throw him off at any moment. “No, it’s fine. I totally understand.”

His blood is pumping in his ears, his heart feels like it’s going to burst in his chest as he stands there, face to face with the boy who should be holding a knife to his throat. He doesn’t know what to do. Is it his duty as Crown Prince of Hell to kill him? Could he even kill him, his only friend?

Ventus smiles at him, dimples showing and eyes gleaming. “I’m glad we’re friends, Kara. Thanks for being so understanding about it. I know it’s probably a lot to take in, but please don’t let it change anything.”

_ Kara.  _ Vanitas’s hands are shaking and his legs feel like they’re going to give out as his darkness begins to swell up inside him, Void Gear itching to materialize.  _ Prince of Heaven. He’s the Goddamn Prince of Heaven. I should be killing him right now. That’s my duty, isn’t it? _

It takes every ounce of sanity that hasn’t been completely swallowed up at that point to force out a response.

“Of course. You’re my friend.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're looking for angels in the darkest of skies,  
> I'm not asking for a miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't expect much soft after this.

Ventus stays with Vanitas for the better part of that day, the two of them talking about nothing and everything. Vanitas spends most of their discussion debating whether or not to just stab Ventus every time he turns his back, though he can never actually bring himself to do it. Every single time the blonde shoots him his optimistic smile, Vanitas pushes the thoughts away again. It takes about 5 very serious deliberations in his own mind before he realizes if he hadn’t done it at that point, he’d never be able to. Ventus is the single kindest person he knows. He’s the _only_ kind person he knows. He’s so… Pure. Innocent. There’s absolutely no reason for Vanitas to take his life besides the fact that it’s what his father would want, and when has he ever cared about what his father wants?

Ventus sits on the ground in the middle of a grassy clearing, staring up at the sky as the sun beats down on his face. Vanitas sits in the shade, not being a fan of the blistering that being in direct sunlight causes, as Ventus speaks.

“It’s a tragedy. They both die at the end.”

Vanitas has to pause for safety of not saying the wrong thing. His immediate response is “death in inevitable and they’re both idiots,” but he can tell Ventus is invested in his dumb story, so Vanitas bites his tongue.

“Explain it to me again. I don’t get it.”

“Okay, Juliet wants to be with Romeo but her family won’t allow it, so she fakes her own death, but she doesn’t wake up before Romeo finds her. He thinks she’s dead, and he doesn’t want to live without her, so he kills himself. Then, when she wakes up, seeing him dead, she kills herself to be with him.”

“I don’t get it,” he repeats, and Ventus rolls his eyes.

“It’s a love story. Two people love each other so much that they’d rather die than be apart.”

“That’s so melodramatic.”

“It’s _romantic,”_ Ventus corrects him.

“Of _course,_ ” Vanitas says sarcastically, and Ventus shoots him a lighthearted glare, making him laugh. “So you’re a hopeless romantic, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say hopeless,” Ventus shrugs, falling back to lay on the grass, staring upwards at the sky. “I like to think that there’s someone out there for everyone.”

Vanitas wonders if that could possibly be true. He doesn’t know a single person who could ever in a million years fall in love with the Crown Prince of Hell. There’s many who would love to marry him to gain his title, but a genuine connection is something he could never imagine having with someone. He always figured he’d be completely alone for his entire life, besides having Sora at his side.

“I don’t know about that,” he says with a light chuckle, though he hopes Ventus doesn’t notice the lack of smile on his face.

“You need to work on your faith,” Ventus says.

“That would be like telling you to work on your waterboarding.”

Ventus shoots him a worried glance, and Vanitas laughs again, genuinely this time. “You angels are too easy. So innocent. I’d love to see you spend just one day in Hell. I think you’d pass out, it’d be hilarious.”

Ventus narrows his eyes at him. “You’re a little inconsiderate.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow sarcastically. “I mean, I’m a demon.”

Ventus rolls his eyes, directing his attention to a leaf flying by. He grabs it out of the air, crunching it in his hand. “Do you ever think about fate?”

“Going deep there, Ventus,” Vanitas laughs, but Ventus doesn’t seem as entertained.

“Every human on this Earth has a ticking time clock over their heads counting down until their deaths. We do our best upstairs to make the passing and the afterlife easier, but it’s hard knowing that it’s not really what they want. I wish I could bless everyone with an extra few years, but I know I can’t. It makes it a lot harder to do the job. But sometimes I wonder if we’re fated to die the same way they are. I know we can’t die natural deaths, but are we all destined to die just like them? Is there a clock over my head just counting the days until my life is taken from me?”

Vanitas stares at him for a few moments, unsure of how to respond. “I don’t think it works that way for unearthly beings. Are you always this deep and brooding?”

“I’m not brooding.”

“You’re _absolutely_ brooding.”

“Coming from the King of brooding,” Ventus laughs, giving Vanitas a soft shove in the shoulder. “I just get in my head sometimes. Sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Vanitas says, smiling over at the blonde. “At least you’re self-aware.”

“It’s a blessing and a curse,” Ventus chuckles. “My father hates it. I always question things, and it drives him crazy. Me and Roxas are similar that way. Roxas is very pessimistic compared to me. Compared to most angels, really. He kinda reminds me of you.”

“Gee, thanks,” Vanitas laughs sarcastically.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean-”

“I’m kidding,” Vanitas cuts him off with a soft smile. “You remind me of my brother, too. He’s way more optimistic than most demons. Or, he used to be.”

“What do you mean?”

Vanitas sighs, leaning his head back against the tree he’s sitting under. “I don’t know, we used to be so close, and now it’s like he wants nothing to do with me. It’s frustrating, he’s really the only person who understands what it’s really like down there, the only person that I can be open with. And now it’s like we’re in Limbo. I don’t know what to do.”

“Give him time?” Ventus suggests. “Siblings fight. Roxas is only, like, 80 years old, and we’ve fought more times than I can even count. We always work it out. It helps to bond over how overbearing our father can be, because it’s our most mutual property. He’s still a standard Cherub, which means he’s equivalent to a toddler in my father’s eyes. Maybe you and Sora need to find something new you can bond over.”

Vanitas shrugs, musing about how ironic it is that Ventus had essentially just described Vanitas and Sora’s lives. He wonders if maybe he should just come clean, they’ve known each other off and on for almost a year at that point, and they’d been talking for the better part of the day. He genuinely debates it, but the wall he’s built up over the years is impossible to break, and the cons of possibly losing Ventus as a friend outweigh the pros of telling him about who he really is.

Ventus scooches over to Vanitas, leaning against the tree next to him. “You know, I’ve never felt so comfortable talking to someone like this before. I’m really glad we’re friends.”

“Me too,” Vanitas says, turning to look at Ventus with a smile. He stares into his sea-blue eyes for what feels like far too long, thinking again about how _pretty_ he is. He hadn’t seen Terra in a while, but he can’t remember him looking as beautiful as Ventus does. Maybe it has something to do with him being the Regent Prince of Heaven, or maybe Vanitas is just a little too smitten than he’d like to admit. It seems like every time his thoughts tread off to Ventus when he’s alone in his office, the top thought is about how _perfect_ his features are. It isn’t fair, really, because Vanitas had just made a God damn friend and he can’t stop thinking about how pretty he is. And besides, he and Ventus don’t even have any business being friends in the first place, he _absolutely_ shouldn’t be _attracted_ to him.

He is, though. He can’t deny it. Everyone in the Dark Realm is so unappealing to him because he associates each and every one of them with the misery he feels being down there. Maybe that’s it, he’s attracted to Ventus because Ventus is connected with the freedom he feels whenever they meet up in the Mortal Realm. It’s gotta be that, because he’d have to be going absolutely mental to even consider Ventus as more than a friend.

He realizes they’ve been staring at each other for far too long, painfully breaking the stare and looking up at the sky. He freezes as he feels Ventus’s head lay on his shoulder for a second time that day, though he feels no inclination to do anything about it. He lets his head lean on Ventus’s, and that’s how they stay, in a comfortable silence, until Ventus speaks up a short while later.

“I should be getting back. Eraqus will have my head if I’m not home by the time he gets there. I’m sorry.”

Vanitas can’t help but feel embarrassed that he hadn’t realized just how much time had gone by. He scrambles to his feet, holding out his hand to help Ventus up. Ventus takes it, and Vanitas has to do his best to ignore the way his heart skips as his hand touches Ventus’s. He drops it as soon as Ventus is up, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.”

“Do you wanna do this again sometime soon? Maybe a week from today?”

Vanitas wants it to be sooner, because hanging out on Earth with Ventus is the one place he can feel at peace with himself, but he’s not in the market of seeming too eager, so he nods. “Sure. I’d like that.”

“Me too,” Ventus smiles. His bright blue eyes almost light up at the confirmation, and Vanitas has to pull himself out of them as he realizes he’s completely missed what Ventus was saying to him.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said I’ll see you soon,” Ventus laughs. “You seem… Flustered.”

“Flustered?” Vanitas repeats, his voice cracking, cursing himself out in his mind. “Me? No way.”

“Well, I’d argue with you, but I don’t know if it’d be fair because you seem a little out of it. I didn’t know demons could _blush_ though.”

 _Fuck,_ Vanitas mutters to himself, directing his gaze back at the ground. “So I’ll see you next week?” He asks, trying to escape his current predicament as quickly as possible. Ventus laughs, and he looks back up to see him nodding.

“Same time, same place. I’ll see you then.”

“See you soon, Ventus.”


	12. Chapter 12

Vanitas and Ventus start meeting up once weekly for a while, before it turns into once every few days, and then daily. Before too long Vanitas is waking up, working for the better part of his day, then heading up to the Mortal Realm to see Ventus, then not coming home until far later than he should. He’s exhausted from hardly sleeping, but he sees it as worth it because it’s the first time he’s felt genuinely happy in… The majority of his life. Sora, no matter how much Vanitas tries to talk to him, will _not_ let up on ignoring him. He’s worried, but he’s beginning to wonder if Xigbar has anything to do with it at all or if Sora just genuinely hates him now. It breaks his heart, but until he figures out what to do about it, he figures it’s best to just let Sora have some space.

“Check this out,” Ventus says, climbing up to the top of a tree as Vanitas laughs from the ground.

“What are you doing, idiot?”

“Trust fall.”

“Trust- _What?!”_

“Catch!” Ventus yells, jumping off the tree branch towards Vanitas, who side-steps lazily, letting Ventus crash into the ground with a yelp. The blonde scrambles to a sitting position with a glare at Vanitas. “What was that?”

“I never said I would catch you!”

“You’re an asshole,” Ventus mutters, rubbing the back of his neck, “and a right shit friend.”

“Oh yeah? That’s cool. I guess I’ll just go back to Hell, lonely and miserable because my only friend thinks I’m _such_ an asshole-”

“Oh, shut up. I could never _actually_ think you’re a shit friend.”

 _Not right now,_ Vanitas thinks to himself, an all too familiar feeling of guilt biting him once again, but he’s gotten increasingly good at shoving it away. “I’d hope not,” he responds, sitting down on the ground and pulling up a dandelion.

“You know, if you blow off all the fuzzy stuff, you get to make a wish.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him incredulously. “You’re so cliché.”

“Just do it! You never know!”

“I’m not falling into your romance play tropes. No way.”

“Fine. Then give it to me.”

Ventus holds his hand out with a painfully hilarious attempt at a stern face. Vanitas stifles a laugh, handing the dandelion to Ventus. The blonde holds it up to his face, closing his eyes for a moment before blowing all the fuzzy stuff off with one single breath.

“What’d you wish for?” Vanitas asks, sarcastically musing him, but Ventus seems unbothered. That, or blissfully unaware.

“If I tell you, then it wouldn’t come true, now would it?” Ventus asks, a tiny bit of pink flushing his cheeks as he looks away from Vanitas’s gaze.

“Is that how it works? Man, your life must be so cozy. We demons only get wishes when one of our human’s teeth all fall out, and if we don’t immediately scream our wish directly into the never ending void, then it won’t come true.”

Ventus stares at him, wide-eyed, and Vanitas bursts out laughing. “My God, Ventus, I’m kidding.”

Ventus doesn’t seem as entertained by the joke is, plopping down in the grass, Vanitas joining him. They sit next to each other in silence, until Vanitas becomes aware of Ventus staring at him, looking over with an embarrassed smile. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Yeah, and?”

“Why are you staring at me?”

Ventus just shrugs, narrowing his eyes. “You have freckles.”

The blonde boy gets uncomfortably close to Vanitas’s face, making his heart skip a few beats. “I do _not_.”

“You absolutely do. They come out in the sunlight.”

“Good to know,” Vanitas says, awkwardly, unsure of what else to say. Ventus doesn’t move away, and they just sit there, noses almost touching. Vanitas can feel Ventus’s breath on his face and if he didn’t know any better he’d say the blonde seems like he’s about to go in for a kiss. He’s quickly proven wrong, and not at _all_ disappointed, as Ventus sits back against the tree again.

“You know… You’re the only person who calls me Ventus.”

“Am I?”

The blonde nods, staring up at the sky. “Yeah. Most people call me Ven. You can, too. If you want. Everyone I care about does.”

Vanitas stares at Ventus as he watches the clouds, a small smile forming on his lips. “Alright. Ven it is.”

 

* * *

 

“Kara.”

Vanitas turns around, sending Void gear away as he waves awkwardly stares at the person running towards him, confused. “Terra?”

“I thought I sensed you around here. It’s been a while, huh?” Terra asks, and Vanitas nods.

“Yeah. A few months, right?”

Terra nods. “How’ve you been?”

“Me? Uh, good, how about you?” He isn’t sure if Ventus had told Terra about their taboo friendship, so he isn’t sure if it’s his place to be the one to expose it. He figures he’d be best off keeping his mouth shut about it until Terra makes some notion that he knows.

“I’m good. I’ve taken over as Military Commander, so don’t go starting any wars,” he says. Terra had packed on quite a bit of muscle in the few months it’d been since they last spoke. The way he speaks now seems tense, cold. Almost accusatory. “It’s lots of hard work, but definitely worth it.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. So, I actually wanted to ask you about something.”

“Shoot.”

“Well, since I’ve been promoted to Military Commander, I’ve been going through a lot of training having to do with the hierarchy of you guys downstairs.”

“I don’t think I can reasonably tell you anything about the way we work-”

“It’s not about that. It’s about you. The last time I saw you, with Ventus, he said something that I couldn’t get out of my head. He said you’re not a Demon.”

“We’re all Demons,” Vanitas says, which isn’t technically false, but also isn’t technically true. “I didn’t really lie to you.”

“You did, though. You know you did. And I gotta be honest here, it drove me absolutely crazy for a while because I couldn’t figure it out. But now, being Commander, I have access to all kinds of records. Records about your classes, races, even leaders. And I think I finally have it all figured out.”

Vanitas narrows his eyes at Terra, trying to keep his heart rate steady as he readies himself to summon Void Gear.

Terra summons his own Keyblade before he can, though, holding it up to his neck. The last thing he wants is to fight Terra, and he’s just hoping that Terra doesn’t want to fight him either.

“Oh yeah?” Vanitas asks, trying but failing to keep his voice from shaking. He’s not afraid of Terra really, he’s had a few run ins with past Military Commanders of Heaven throughout the years, but it’s Terra _specifically_ that he doesn’t want to get into a physical altercation with.

“Yeah. I know what you are, Kara.”

“And what’s that?”

Terra narrows his eyes at him as he speaks. “You’re a Reaper. Aren’t you?”

Vanitas swallows once, hard. It’s not a huge revelation really, nor is it that far of a stretch. He’s right- well, right _enough._ There’s a few particulars that he knows Heaven’s records are unaware of. He sits in a class of his own, but Reaper is a blanket term that’s close enough to make his heart begin to race. He _is_ considered to be one of Hell’s six Reapers, after all.

“That’s ridiculous-” he starts, knowing full well that denial won’t work at this point, but he has to try. He already knows exactly what’s going to happen in the slight chance Terra lets him live at this point, and a big one is more than likely tarnishing his relationship with Ventus. Reapers are nothing to be messed with, they’re essentially Hell’s split army commanders, similar to Terra’s position, and it’s not a good luck when he’s best friends with the son of the current leader of Heaven.

“Shut up, I know I’m right. The look on your face confirms it.”

Vanitas sighs, unable to look Terra in the eyes. He’s grateful for his unawareness of Vanitas’s _real_ title, and the fact that he’s the first born son of the King of Hell himself, which is good. But if just being a basic _Reaper_ is enough to piss Terra off this much, he has to hope to God himself that the rest never comes out.

“Terra-”

“I’m not done talking. I should kill you right now, right where you stand. Reapers are the scum of the universe in my opinion. Your sole jobs are to cut lives of humans short so you can bring their souls down to Hell, right?” He is right, but Vanitas doesn’t think informing him that they stick almost exclusively to extremely evil people would change his mind at this point, so he just nods slowly. “Of course. Which means I have every right to kill you.” Another half-right statement. Terra could try to kill him, though Vanitas wouldn’t make it easy, and Terra would most likely not end up the victor. Terra would have no idea that killing Vanitas would without a doubt start a Holy War, because Xehanort would pretend like his death was meaningful enough to strike back and use it as an excuse to launch an attack on Heaven.

Terra takes a deep breath before continuing. When he does, he lowers his Keyblade from Vanitas’s throat with a sigh. “However… You spared me once. It’s only fair of me to do the same.”

Vanitas bites down a comment about how Terra’s purity will be his downfall, about how fairness won’t win wars. About how the first casualty of every war is always the truth. “You’re free to go. I don’t want to even look at you anymore.”

Vanitas hesitates for a moment, wondering if there’s any way he can fix the situation, knowing full well Terra is going to go straight to Ventus with this information, if he hadn’t already. If not because Terra knows of their relationship, but because the two of them are friends, too. Ventus told him that Terra is his only other friend.

Vanitas steps back, holding his hand up to his throat with a humble nod. “Thank you, Terra.”

Terra nods, turning to walk away. Vanitas does the same, heart still racing, but stops as he hears Terra speak up once more.

“Kara.”

“Yes?”

“If I ever see you again,” Terra starts, and Vanitas looks over to meet his stone-cold gaze, “I’ll kill you.”

Vanitas nods in understanding, and walks off, biting the inside of his cheek to keep the tears threatening to spill over at bay.

_I’m sorry, Ven._

_I hope you can forgive me._


	13. Chapter 13

Vanitas spends the next few days out on Reaper missions for Xehanort, which is a rare occasion.

He hangs around he and Ventus’s usual meeting spot at least once a day, a little grassy clearing outside of Amsterdam, in hopes that the blonde will show up so he can explain himself. Ventus never shows, though, and Vanitas wonders if he’ll ever see his friend again. Terra obviously told him, and Ventus probably doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He should have seen it coming, keeping everything about himself a secret like that. He knows if he sees Ventus again, there’d be no way for him to explain anything without feeling extreme guilt, because he’d  _ still  _ be holding back so much information that he wouldn’t even be able to look Ventus in the eyes.

His mission is to take the life of some serial killer who’d led a cult for a few years. Vanitas didn’t know much about him, he doesn’t really look into the people Xehanort sends him after. He finishes his task quickly, leaving the scene and heading back to where he’d left the portal back to the Dark Realm. He makes a pit stop in Amsterdam, walking through he and Ventus’s meeting spot in the off-chance that the angel would make an appearance. He waits for a few minutes, before sighing and turning to walk off again.

“Looking for someone?”

Vanitas jumps, whipping around and summoning Void Gear, though he sends it away immediately as he sees the blonde boy standing in front of him. “Ven. Hi.”

Ventus takes a few stiff steps towards him, eyes narrowed accusingly. “I thought I might find you here.”

“I didn’t expect to see you for a while,” Vanitas admits, finding it increasingly difficult to maintain eye contact. “Did you-”

“Talk to Terra? Would I be here right now if I hadn’t?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas’s heart starts to race as Ventus summons his Keyblade. Vanitas can already feel its effects, it being an angel blade, and he knows Ventus could very easily take him down with it if he turns out to be a good enough fighter. Vanitas starts mentally weighing his chances of being able to fight Ventus off, which he deems are slim because the boy wields one of the very few things that could be deathly effective against even a Reaper, and the fact that Vanitas wouldn’t be able to kill Ventus. He knows that, deep down. Ventus would overpower him easily just from those two things alone.

“So, are you here to kill me?” Vanitas asks, feeling an overwhelming sense of déja vu from his second meeting with Ventus.

Ventus stares at him for a few moments, looking only slightly unsure. “I think so.”

“You think so?”

“I knew you’ve been hiding something from me, but I really,  _ really _ hoped it wasn’t this. I really hoped you were something else, and I liked you, so I ignored it. I turned a blind eye even though I knew  _ exactly _ what you are, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. Which makes this just as much my fault.”

“Ven, it’s not-”

“Shut up!” Ventus snaps suddenly, his Keyblade flying up to sit against Vanitas’s neck. “Just because Terra didn’t kill you doesn’t mean I won’t!”

“Then do it, you coward!” Vanitas yells back, all but shoving his neck into Ventus’s Keyblade. The blonde pulls it back in surprise at his sudden outburst, stopping Vanitas from impaling himself with it, but Vanitas wraps his hands around the blade and holds it against his neck. His hands burn, causing him searing pain, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even try to stop the tears as he pulls Ventus’s keyblade back towards his neck. “Kill me, Ventus! Do it!”

“Stop!” Ventus screams, pulling his Keyblade back with such force that Vanitas flies forward, letting go and landing on his hands and knees in the dirt. His hands are in such intense pain from Ventus’s Keyblade that he has to drop onto his elbows to get the weight off of them, putting his face in his hands on the ground and refusing to look up.

“Just kill me. I won’t stop you.”

“Kara.”

Vanitas doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. That’s not his name.

“ _ Vanitas _ .”

Vanitas’s heart drops. He whips his head up to look at Ventus, who’s dropped to kneel in front of him. He knows the panic on his face is clear as day, but Ventus doesn’t seem too concerned.

“How do you-”

“Not important right now. I’m not going to kill you, okay? You need to get up.”

“How do you know my name?” Vanitas asks, his voice breaking. “Why aren’t you going to kill me?”

Ventus goes silent for a moment. He ultimately just sighs, holding out his hand to help Vanitas up. He hesitates before taking it, allowing Ventus to help him to his feet.

“Because.”

“Because  _ why?” _

“Because I don’t want to. Isn’t that enough?”

Vanitas can’t think of an answer for this, so he doesn’t respond. Ventus still has his Keyblade in his hands, and the two of them lapse into awkward silence before Ventus whips around to look behind him. “Shit.”

“What?”

“We need to go,” Ventus says, voice shaking as he walks by Vanitas, Keyblade still in hand. “Come with me.”

“What is this, Ven?” Vanitas asks, and Ventus just ignores him. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“Can you keep your voice down?” Ventus asks, looking around, worry clear on his face. “I’ll explain everything once we’re safe. I didn’t really plan this far ahead.”

“What do you mean, once we’re safe?”

“Can you just trust me for, like, two seconds? Can you find it somewhere deep in your Demon brain to just shut the fuck up?”

Vanitas blinks a few times in surprise, then nods stiffly. “Okay.”

“Thank you. I think there’s a cave right over here.”

Ventus leads him to the cave he’s claimed to have seen before. As they’re walking, Vanitas hears voices around them, looking around nervously to try and find them. He can sense vague presences of Angels all around him, getting closer the more they walk.

“There!” He hears someone yell, whipping around and pulling Void Gear out in preparation for a fight. “He has Ventus!”

“What?” Vanitas asks, looking over his shoulder at Ven. “Did you… Lead me here?”

“Of course not!” Ven snaps back, and Vanitas notices he has his Keyblade ready to fight as well. “My father probably just noticed I’m missing.”

“Your father? You mean, the King of Heaven?”

“King  _ Regent, _ ” Ventus corrects, as if it matters. “Not important right now. We need to get out of here.”

Ventus takes off running, Vanitas having no choice but to follow him as they break through the trees in an attempt to outrun the Angels on their trail.

“My father had suspicions about me befriending a Demon ever since I started coming home smelling like you,” Ventus explains as they run. “You guys have a very distinct scent, it’s like campfire. Terra went to him this morning after figuring out your true name, and apparently you’re something of a legend upstairs because he dispatched armies immediately. You’ve got some serious explaining to do, but not until we get out of their line of sight.”

Vanitas doesn’t respond, just picking up the pace behind Ventus as his heart races.  _ They know. They know everything. _

“It’s just up ahead-” Ventus says, though he’s cut off as someone lunges out of the trees and is taken down to the ground, Ventus slamming his head against a rock and not moving.

“Get off of him!” Vanitas screams, jumping forward and throwing the guy off of Ventus. The Angel hits the ground as Vanitas holds his Keyblade against his neck. The Angel heaves all his weight, surprising Vanitas and managing to throw him off. Vanitas ends up underneath him, struggling, as the Angel is about to slam down his blade against Vanitas’s neck.

He closes his eyes, about to scream, when suddenly the angel falls over. Vanitas opens one eye to see Ventus standing above him, blood trickling down from where he’d hit his head on the rock. “You okay?”

He holds his hand out for Vanitas, who takes a moment to take it in shock of Ventus killing one of his own kind to save his own life. He reaches forward with a shaky hand as Ventus pulls him off the ground, taking off again. Ventus starts to slow down as they get closer, eventually tripping over his own feet and nearly hitting the ground. Vanitas catches him just in time as Ventus’s eyes start drooping. “Ven, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. Tell me where the cave is, I’ll carry you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Now’s not the time!” Vanitas snaps, and Ventus nods slowly, pointing in the direction of the cave.

“That way.”

Vanitas nods, putting Ventus’s arm over his shoulder and lugging him along until he comes across the cave that Ventus was looking for, helping him into it and covering the entrance as quickly as he can with whatever leaves and rocks he can find.

“This should work,” Ventus says, voice strained, and Vanitas finally deems it time to confront him.

“Okay, enough of this. Tell me what’s going on.”

“They’re looking for you.”

“Who?”

“My father. The Angels. Terra.”

“Because I’m a Reaper?”

“Because of your name. I still don’t know why, but apparently me befriending someone named  _ Vanitas  _ was enough to cause my father to come down to the Mortal Realm for the first time in hundreds of years.”

“They seem to think you aren’t here willingly,” Vanitas says, and Ventus just shrugs.

“Not surprising. I assume my father noticed I’m missing and thought you had something to do with it.”

“So you  _ ran away? _ Why?”

Ventus looks at Vanitas, seeming a little confused. “I wanted to help you.”

“Ventus, you can’t leave your home behind because of me. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t care. If I go home now… I just can’t.”

“I’m not going to let you give up your life for me. I have a life, too. I have to get back to my brother, my  _ job.  _ If not my brother, who probably won’t even care, the two idiots I have to babysit every day will come running as soon as something goes wrong. I can’t keep hiding out here. I have to get back to my portal.”

“We’ll figure it out. Just stay here for at least tonight. We’ll figure this all out in the morning.”

“I’m not letting you give everything up, Ven. Just go, say I kidnapped you or whatever. I don’t want you losing everything for me.”

“That’s my choice to make,” Ventus argues, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“You can’t just  _ leave _ . Aren’t you important there? Don’t you have a brother?”

“I’m not going to leave you here, okay?! If I go home now, I have to face the fact that I’ll probably never see you again, and I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not leaving, so just shut up.”

Vanitas blinks a few times in confusion as Ventus stares at him. He isn’t sure what exactly to say to that. He’s known since he met Ventus that the boy hates his life in Heaven, but he never thought he’d be willing to sacrifice it all. Vanitas hates his life, sure, but he could never willingly leave Sora.

Still, the fact that Ventus is sitting here, in a dark cave, staring at Vanitas through the darkness with his blue eyes still glowing, is something he never imagined anyone being willing to do for him. His heart picks up a little, staring at Ventus as Ventus stares back. He isn’t sure what’s happening, but it’s almost like Ventus is getting closer. His heart starts racing faster and faster until he’s all but panicking, pulling back and looking at the ground.

There’s a few moments of awkward silence until Ventus clears his throat and sits up again.

“So... Are we ever gonna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“You. Who you really are, and why you’re  _ still  _ insistent on keeping it from me.”

“I just-”

“You just  _ still  _ don’t trust me. Why? Is it because I’m an Angel? Because I’m Eraqus’s son? What is it?”

Vanitas can’t bring himself to look Ventus in the eyes when he speaks. “It’s because I’m scared you won’t want to be my friend anymore once you know.”

Ventus pauses, clearly not expecting that answer. “But how bad can it really be?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas sighs, pulling his legs into his chest and resting his chin on his knees.

“I really just need you to trust me on this one.”

Ventus doesn’t respond, and Vanitas assumes he’s angry. He’d have every reason to be.

Ventus, though, to his surprise, just lays his head down on Vanitas’s shoulder. “I do trust you. I promise. I just hope one day you can find it in you to trust me, too.”

Vanitas sighs, averting his gaze from Ventus as his chest burns. He knows it’s the time to come clean, but the little voice in the back of his head is screaming at him to keep his mouth shut, and he’s never been very good at ignoring it.

“You need to materialize yourself.”

Vanitas looks over at Ventus with a disgusted look. “Why?”

“Because they’ll be able to sense your presence so long as you’re in your Demon form. I’m materialized, you need to too.”

“But then I have to, like… Breathe. And, you know… Urinate.”

“Oh my God, you’ll be fine, you big baby. Just trust me here, okay?”

Vanitas sighs, but does as Ventus tells him. He immediately feels grossed out by activating his human functions, feeling his foot start to itch. His foot  _ itches.  _ It’s disgusting.

They sit in relative silence for a while, Vanitas starting to shiver as it gets darker and darker outside. Ventus tries to start a fire, but can’t seem to get it. Eventually Vanitas just sighs, snapping his fingers and lighting the small pile of twigs and leaves on fire for him.

“I could have done it.”

“I just sped it up a little.”

Ventus lets out a deep breath, shaking as the sun sinks further into the horizon. Vanitas doesn’t find it cold, helped by being a Demon whose body is partially fire. Ventus looks freezing though, and Vanitas just sighs. “Come here.”

“What?”

“You’re clearly freezing, and I’m always hot. Come on, don’t be a big baby.”

Ventus studies him for a moment before complying, sliding closer to Vanitas and laying his head on his shoulder. Vanitas stretches an arm behind him, and they sit like that in silence until Vanitas speaks up.  “How long do you think we’ll be here?”

“They’re gonna be everywhere, at least for tonight. Just stay here until the morning, and then we can work on getting you home, if that’s what you want. Okay?”

Vanitas pauses, before heaving a sigh. “Okay. One night.”

Ventus doesn’t respond, and by the time Vanitas looks over at the blonde boy, he hears him lightly snoring. Vanitas watches him for a moment, a small smile creeping up on his face, realizing the feelings he’d been shoving down for so long are getting harder and harder to ignore. The way Ventus makes his heart skip differently than anyone he’d ever met, and the fact that he misses most of Ventus’s back-talk because he’s too busy staring at his sea-blue eyes is something Vanitas never thought he’d find himself doing with anyone, let alone the boy who’s supposed to be his mortal enemy.

He is, though. Watching Ventus snore on his shoulder is enough to force Vanitas to take a second look into his own feelings for the boy. Even if the two of them hadn’t come close to kissing who knows how many times, he’d probably still be having these feelings. Because Ventus believes in him, in a way nobody has ever believed in him before. It’d be impossible and just plain stupid to deny the fact to himself that’d he’d fallen nearly head over heels in love with this stupid blonde boy and his stupid sea-blue eyes.

Vanitas looks down at him with a smile as he carefully leans back against the cave walls, his head on Ventus’s, and falls asleep himself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of part one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna upload this story in two parts, but I think I'm just gonna keep uploading here to make it easier. This is the end of part one. Thanks everyone for reading so far, updates will continue the same way (every day between 11/12EST.)

Vanitas wakes up slowly, turning to lean his head on Ventus’s but nearly falling over as he realizes the absence of the blonde Angel.

He immediately panics, scrambling to crawl out of the cave and back into the world. He immediately starts to blister from the sun, but that’s about the last thing on his mind.

“Ven!” He calls, looking around frantically for the shorter boy. “Ven!”

He starts running, hoping to find Ventus before anything ridiculously bad happens, though he gets taken to the ground before he can make it very far.

“Let me go!” He starts thrashing, though he stops when he sees the person on top of him. “Ven!” He breathes in relief.

“What the Hell are you doing?” Ventus demands, hands holding Vanitas’s down to the ground and legs on either side of his hips. Vanitas is very quickly reminded of the Human functions he now possess because of this as he awkwardly shoves Ventus off of him, refusing to make eye contact.

“I woke up and you were gone.”

“I was getting us food, you idiot,” Ventus says, though an amused smile is tugging at the sides of his mouth. “Were you… _Worried_ about me?”

“You’re my friend, of course I was worried,” Vanitas mutters.

“We should get back inside. Unfortunately I’m not the best hunter gatherer, so I didn’t find much.”

“Good thing we can both just go back to our normal forms and stop having to eat,” Vanitas complains, his stomach growling. He hates being in human form, it’s such an incredibly uncomfortable experience and he has no idea how all the humans in the Mortal Realm can do it so easily.

“If you want all the Angels camping out around here to find you, be my guest,” Ventus says, getting to his feet and walking back in the direction of the cave. “I got some berries, but that’s it. We’re gonna have to share.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas stays with Ventus for a little while longer, though eventually he starts worrying about his home, and if anyone had noticed his disappearance yet.

“I should really be getting back, Ven. We’re gonna have to figure something out quick.”

“I know,” Ventus says, sadly. “The thing is, if I go home now, I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back down here. My father is a little… Protective. If he thinks that I was kidnapped and escaped, he’ll never let me set foot down here alone, and if I tell him I wanted to be here, he’ll lock me up there as a punishment. There’s no winning here.”

“So what do we do?”

Ventus looks over at him, looking just a little hopeful. “We could run.”

“What do you mean, run?” Vanitas asks, and Ventus shrugs, looking down at the ground.

“We could leave. Start up a life somewhere, maybe Vienna? I’ve always liked it there.”

Vanitas is about to tell him that they can’t just leave, no matter how much he’d like that. He gets to thinking, though, why couldn’t they? It’s not like either of them are particularly happy with their current lives. Vanitas would give anything to leave his father behind. The only issue would be Sora. Without Vanitas there, who knows what would happen to him? Xigbar would have basically unrestricted access to do whatever he wants to the boy, and Vanitas couldn’t live with himself knowing he’d left his brother behind.

Vanitas looks over at Ventus, his porcelain features and sea-blue eyes, and he finds, for the first time, he sees a future.

“Okay. But one condition,” he says, and Ventus’s face lights up.

“Anything.”

“We have to go get my brother.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas and Ventus walk until they reach the edge of the clearing to where the glowing purple door to Hell is sitting.

“Shit,” Vanitas mutters, noticing the two Angels standing guard on either side of it.

“Don’t panic, we just need to think of something,” Ventus says, and Vanitas shakes his head, beginning to panic again.

“What? What could we possibly do here? They’re never going to let up, and I can never go home. We’re done. It’s over.”

“It’s not-” Ventus starts, but Vanitas cuts him off.

“It is! This was such a stupid idea. I can’t believe I really thought we could just _leave._ You need to go home, Ven!”

“I’m not leaving you!” Ventus snaps back, getting intimidatingly close to Vanitas’s face.

“You have to!”

“ _No!”_

Vanitas stares at him for a few moments before sighing. “Fine. But I’m not staying here.”

He stands up and walks off, Ventus following him quickly. “Where are we gonna go?”

“We’re gonna have to find some other way down there. See if there’s another Reaper around whose portal I can sneak through.”

“I thought we were in this together,” Ventus says, and Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’ve never heard of an Angel entering Hell, but I can imagine the results wouldn’t be pretty. If just the sunlight can cause me to burn, who knows what Hell would do to you? I have to go in alone.”

Ventus looks annoyed, but he just nods. “Fine. I’ll keep watch, so you can go back to your normal form and search.”

Ventus walks off as Vanitas changes back to the comfort of his Demon form, searching around to see if he can find another Reaper whose portal he can steal. He senses one, a few thousand kilometers away, and recognizes Marluxia’s aura.

Vanitas changes back to human form, walking over to Ventus. “There’s a Reaper in Egypt right now. I don’t know if we can make it there before they’re gone, though-” he starts, though he freezes when he sees Ventus.

The boy is being held in a headlock by a taller brown haired boy that Vanitas immediately recognizes.

“Terra.”

“Vanitas, just run!” Ventus calls to him, but Vanitas ignores him, summoning Void Gear.

“I suggest you let him go.”

Terra laughs once, harshly. “Not gonna happen. I told you if I ever saw you again I’d kill you.”

“Terra, leave him alone!” Ven yells, struggling to get out of the taller boy’s grasp, to no avail.

“Your father is worried sick about you,” Terra snaps back. “So is Roxas. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that there’s someone who needs to be saved, and it’s my job to save him.”

“You really thought you could save the son of the King of Hell?” Terra laughs, and Ventus immediately stops struggling as Vanitas’s heart drops.

“What?” Ventus asks, looking over at Vanitas. Vanitas can’t even bring himself to look back.

“You didn’t know?” Terra asks, gaping at Vanitas in shock. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” Ventus says after a pause long enough to make Vanitas’s heart burn. “He didn’t.”

Terra drops Ventus, and the boy lands on his knees. “You’re… The King’s son?”

Vanitas still can’t look at him. “I’m sorry.”

“So that’s why you wouldn’t tell me. We’re supposed to be enemies. We’re supposed to hate each other,” Ventus says, sounding completely defeated, sending knives through Vanitas’s heart.

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t tell me you’re the damned Prince of Hell because you were scared that I’d hate you,” Ventus says, and Vanitas can hear him getting to his feet. “You didn’t want to tell me because you thought I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore if I knew who you are? As if you being a Reaper changed anything?! As if I didn’t leave even after finding out everything you told me about yourself was a lie? You thought that this would change it?!”

“Of course I thought that! I thought about killing you the second you told me who you really are, why was I supposed to think you’d be any different?!” Vanitas screams back as Ventus reaches him. “Why was I supposed to think that someone as fucking _pure_ as you would ever want anything to do with someone like me, someone with my position? My title? Was I supposed to think that you’d really still think I was worth saving if you knew the truth?!”

“Yes! Because I would have! But you could never bring yourself to fully trust me because of who I am, even though I’d never given you a reason not to! Because you’re a self loathing pessimist with walls up to your ego shutting people out!”

“You’re the one who wanted to be friends!”

“You didn’t seem like you had any arguments! You could have stopped it if you wanted to!”

“Of course I didn’t want to!”

“And why not, _your majesty?!_ ”

“Because I’m in love with you!” Vanitas yells, and Ventus stops dead, his angry gaze faltering into one of complete shock. “And I’m sorry.”

He’s completely aware of Terra looking just as shocked as Ventus, but he doesn’t care. Ventus is being painfully silent, so Vanitas continues.

“I’ve been in love with you for a while, I just tried to ignore it because I know it’s _beyond_ stupid. It’s reckless and irresponsible and I have absolutely no business feeling this way about you, but I _do-”_

“Vanitas,” Ventus says, but he just keeps rambling.

“-And I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you who I was because the more time I spent with you, the more I felt towards you and-”

“Vanitas,” Ventus says again, but still he doesn’t stop.

“-I knew if you found out the truth about me you’d be pissed, and probably never want anything to do with me again but I just couldn’t lose you-”

“Vanitas!”

“Because I don’t know what I’d do without you, and-”

Vanitas is forcefully shut up by that point by Ventus grabbing him by either side of his face and kissing him.

He doesn’t know what to do, he hasn’t kissed anyone in a few hundred years. He reaches up, grabbing Ventus’s waist and putting his other hand in his hair.

Ventus breaks off, looking Vanitas in the eyes with a smile. “Shut up.”

Vanitas just nods, as Ventus turns back to Terra. “You’re welcome to try and take me home. I don’t want to fight you, Terra, but I will.”

“Ven,” Terra starts, taking a step forward. Vanitas summons Void Gear, and Terra gives him a softer look than he’s expecting. “There’s no need for that. I’m sorry, Vanitas. I hope you can forgive me.”

Vanitas blinks a few times in confusion. “What?”

“I came here to bring Ven home, but now I see that isn’t what he wants. I’m sorry for assuming the worst of you. Now, my duty is telling me to do my job, but… That’s not what my heart is saying.”

“What do you mean?” Ventus asks, taking a step towards Terra. “Are you… Letting us go?”

Terra nods, holding his hand up to his heart. “Yeah, I guess so. I was just thinking… Maybe there’s nothing in this life except what we owe to each other. And I think, as your friend, I owe you the freedom to choose your own path.”

Ventus nods, looking back at Vanitas with a smile.

“Thank you, Terra,” Vanitas says, reaching out for Ventus’s hand. “We won’t forget this.”

“Well, I’ll be by to visit,” Terra says with a soft smile. “Take care of him. Please.”  
Vanitas nods with a smile at Ventus.

They’re about to walk off when suddenly a tall figure in a white robe bursts through the tree line, two other people behind him.

Ventus shoves Vanitas behind him immediately. “Father!”

“Ventus!” the man exclaims, and Vanitas’s eyes go wide when he realizes who this is. _Heaven’s King Regent._

“Are you the demon who kidnapped my son?!” The man, Eraqus, demands, turning his attention on Vanitas as he summons a Keyblade. Panic sets in as Vanitas realizes that he can feel the effects of the blade from where he’s standing across the clearing. That thing could kill him just from proximity.

“Vanitas, run!” Ventus shouts, summoning his own Keyblade, Terra doing the same.

“What are you two doing?!” Eraqus demands as the two Angels behind him summon weapons as well. “Kill that Demon!”

The two angels rush forward and Vanitas panics, no idea what to do at that point. He’s completely frozen as Eraqus and the two other Angels rush forward. Terra seems to still have brain function, though, turning around and grabbing Vanitas by the shirt and Ventus by the arm as dragging them both away. Vanitas snaps out of his shock, starting to run behind Terra.

“I have an idea to get you guys out of this,” Terra says as he ducks to avoid a spear lodging itself in the tree behind him. “But you’re gonna have to trust me.”

“I mean, I don’t really think we have a choice-” Vanitas says, cutting himself off as he trips. “What’s the plan?”

“You guys are gonna have to say goodbye for a little while,” Terra says, pulling both of them behind a wide enough tree to hide all three.

“What? No!-” Vanitas starts, but Ven cuts him off.

“We don’t really have the chance to argue, Vani,” he says, and Vanitas looks at him to see a pained expression. “We’re gonna have to trust him here.”

“But what about you? What about my brother? My home?”

“I’ll look after Sora. It’ll all be fine, I promise. Trust me,” Terra says, and Vanitas looks back at Ventus.

"I don’t wanna say goodbye,” Vanitas says, voice cracking, and Ventus gives him a sad smile.

“Me neither. But maybe, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Vanitas swallows once, his throat beginning to close up as tears threaten to spill over, mirroring Ventus’s own glassy eyes. “Here’s hoping, Ven.”

Ventus pulls him into another kiss, and Vanitas can feel the boy’s tears on his cheeks. They pull apart, and Vanitas smiles at him once more.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Vanitas takes Ventus’s hand as Terra puts a hand on each of their chests.

There’s a glowing blue light just as Eraqus bursts through the trees, Keyblade in hand.

And then there’s just black.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas wakes up with a yawn, turning over in his bed and hitting the button on his alarm clock to snooze it, but ends up just knocking it off the table and onto the ground, still beeping.

He turns back over in his bed, putting a pillow over his ear to block out the noise just as another pillow hits him in the stomach, hard, causing him to wheeze and sit up.

“The Hell was that for?!” He demands, throwing the pillow back in their face.

“I’m tired of listening to your alarm clock every morning. Get out of bed, you’re gonna be late. Again.”

Vanitas sighs, sitting up and huffing a sigh. “It’s almost like you’re my dad that I never asked for,” he mutters, and the boy looks over his shoulder with a grin.

“Maybe you should put in a switch request form,” he says, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“Maybe you should mind your business,” he responds, making him laugh.

Vanitas gets ready quickly, throwing on a black zip up sweater and ripped black jeans, brushing his teeth quickly as he slides his shoes on.

“See you later, Vanitas,” the boy waves as Vanitas opens the door.

He sends him a lazy wave in response. “We still on for gaming tonight?” He asks, and the boy nods.

“Of course.”

“Sweet. See you, Terra,” he says as he closes their dorm door and heads off to class.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Maybe there’s nothing in this life except what we owe to each other. _

_ Maybe, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other. _

_ Here’s hoping, Ven. _

_ I’ll see you soon. _

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start of part 2.

Vanitas sleeps roughly that night.

He’s always had nightmares, for as long as he can remember, but they’ve never been as bad as they are since he’s been in College.

He has a recurring nightmare almost nightly where he finds himself walking down a dark corridor, screams ringing all around him causing him to have to cover his ears. Every room has someone else being tortured, be it mentally or physically, and no matter how hard he tries, he can never find his way out.

He wakes with a start, holding a hand to his heart and willing it to slow down. Terra is already awake, as he always is when Vanitas wakes up, no matter how early he wakes up. He literally _never_ sees Terra sleep, and he’d begun to suspect over their few weeks of being roommates that the taller boy is a vampire or something.

“Good morning,” Terra says over his shoulder, writing notes on a piece of paper.

“What time is it?” Vanitas asks, looking around the room.

“Almost noon.”

“Shit,” Vanitas mutters, jumping out of bed. “I slept in way too late. I’m gonna be late.”

Terra just shrugs, too focused on his notes. Terra studies nearly every minute of every day, which is weird to Vanitas, but he’s never thought much of it otherwise. Better than having a roommate who constantly has guests over.

Vanitas runs out the door after getting dressed quickly, running down the hall to the elevator. He nearly crashes directly into some kid leaving his room, causing the boy to drop his things on the ground.

“Watch where you’re going!” The boy yells after Vanitas, who just keeps running, not even looking back.

“Sorry!”

He makes it to class with one minute to spare, setting his books down with a sigh and opening his computer. He types in the title of the lecture as the chair next to him pulls out, a boy with shoulder-length hair sitting next to him.

“Sleep in again?”

Vanitas chuckles. “Yeah. I gotta start fixing that.”

“I’m sure staying up until 4AM playing video games doesn’t help,” he says, and Vanitas looks away quickly, too embarrassed to admit that he’s afraid to sleep because of his recurring nightmares.

“I’ll figure it out,” he says as the professor begins the lecture.

He takes notes as best as he can with his thoughts completely elsewhere, wondering what, if anything, his dreams could mean. He stops taking notes halfway through the lecture and begins researching the meaning behind common nightmares. One website suggests reincarnation, and Vanitas rolls his eyes. _As if any of that stuff is real._ Vanitas has never been a particularly religious person, so any suggestion towards anything on that spectrum is absurd to him.

The lecture ends and Vanitas looks around, surprised at how quickly he’d lost time. He stands up and walks off, his friend following closely behind. “Do you wanna come get lunch? I’m starving.”

Vanitas shakes his head, shoving loose papers in his bag as he walks. “I gotta go read the chapter since I missed almost all of that lecture,” he says, and the boy nods.

“I’ll forward you the notes.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, waving as he walks off.

“See you later, Riku.”

 

* * *

 

He returns to his room, throwing his backpack on the bed and collapsing beside it, debating just falling asleep with half of his body hanging over the edge of the bed. Eventually he pulls himself to his feet and pulls his textbooks out of his bag, setting himself up on his desk and starting to teach himself everything he’d ignored in class.

He opens his laptop as he’s studying, the first thing showing up being his search results for reincarnation. He browses the page again, just out of curiosity, before cursing himself for being so stupid as to actually believe in all that supernatural bullshit.

He turns as the door opens, looking over his shoulder at Terra who waves to him. “Hey, Vanitas. How was class?”

Vanitas shrugs, pushing himself away from his desk to face his roommate. “Boring. How was… Lunch?”

“I was trying out for gospel choir.”

“Right,” Vanitas says, snapping his fingers as Terra rolls his eyes. “How’d it go?”

Terra just shrugs. “Alright. Could’ve gone better. I doubt I’ll get in.”

“Ah, don’t beat yourself up. Hey, by the way, what are you doing this weekend? I want to go to a floor party Riku invited me to but I need someone who’s older than 19 to get me booze. Think you could pick me up a mickey of something over 40%?”

“You need to stop drinking straight alcohol,” Terra says, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“Alright, dad. Can you hook me up?”

Terra sighs. “Fine. But can you make this one go farther than a week? Nobody needs to be downing a mickey of vodka every week.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Thanks, Terra.”

Terra nods, tossing his bag onto his own bed. “Hey, I was gonna have a friend over in a bit, if that’s alright with you?”

Vanitas nods absentmindedly, continuing his studying as Terra heads to the communal washrooms, leaving Vanitas in their room alone.

Terra’s gone for a decently long time, before there’s a soft knock on the door. He gets up, huffing in annoyance, and tosses the door open.

His eyes go wide as he meets eyes with a slightly taller boy with golden blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

“Hi,” he breathes, overcome with emotion for whatever possible reason that could be.

“Hi,” the boy nods, peeking over Vanitas’s shoulder. “I’m looking for Terra.”

“He just left, I’m sure he’ll be back in a bit,” Vanitas says, still stuck staring at this kid’s sea-blue eyes.

“Alright,” the kid says awkwardly. “Aren’t you that guy that ran into me this morning?”

Vanitas splutters, looking down at the ground. “Was that you?”

“Yeah, I dropped my Intro to Science project and I was late for my presentation because I had to fix it,” he says, and Vanitas just shrugs.

“I said I was sorry, didn’t I?”

The kid rolls his eyes slightly, just as Terra comes around the corner.

“Oh, hey, Ven!” Terra says, throwing his towel over his shoulder. “I see you two have met. Vanitas, this is Ventus, and vice versa.”

Ventus shoots him a glare, which gets on Vanitas’s nerves just a bit. He’s been late to class a thousand times, it’s not that big of a deal.

“Go on in, Ven. I was thinking you two would actually become really good friends!” Terra says, seeming oddly hopeful.

“I don’t know about that,” Ventus says, stepping passed Vanitas and into their dorm. Terra gives Vanitas a confused look, and he just shrugs.

“Hey, don’t look at me. Your friend’s got a twig up his ass,” he mutters, and Terra sighs.

“Bad first impression?” He asks, and Vanitas scoffs.

“He’s a little too uptight for me. Give him a few shots and ask me again.”

Vanitas grabs his backpack off the back of his chair, tossing his books and laptop into it along with all his loose papers, much to Ventus’s clear dismay.

“Do you need a binder?” he asks, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“No, I’m good.”

“Are you sure? I have a bunch of extras-”

“I said I’m good. I’ve never owned a binder in my life and I’m not gonna start now. See you later, Terra. Ventus.”

He says Ventus with unintentional spite in his tone, turning and leaving the room, fully aware of the blonde boy watching him leave.

Vanitas puts his headphones over his black beanie, turning the volume up to almost full and shuffling My Chemical Romance as he wallows in his own annoyance. He wonders why he’d gotten so annoyed with Ventus for no apparent reason, and why he’d felt like breaking down in tears at meeting eyes with this kid he’s _never_ met.

He makes it to the closest campus coffee shop, opening his backpack, pulling out his laptop and sending his loose papers all across the floor. He sighs, getting down on his hands and knees and shoving all the papers back into his backpack. He sits down, opening his laptop and the reincarnation page opening up again. He stares at the tab before signing, closing it with a bit too much force.

He opens up his notes and starts studying again, though he finds that no matter how deep into his notes he gets, his thoughts still turn right back around to Ventus.

He wonders why he suddenly felt so close to tears when the boy was standing at his door, and why he got _so_ annoyed when Ventus go short with him. Vanitas is usually fairly level-headed, but meeting eyes with Ventus brought up heavy emotions in him he’s never lost control of before.

Regardless of all of that, it’s clear Ventus doesn’t like him, and Vanitas isn’t too fond of the kid himself. He’s never been a fan of people who adhere to the rules as closely as Ventus seems to, and he isn’t gonna start now just because he’s _kinda_ cute. Absolutely not. Ventus is a stuck-up hall monitor and Vanitas doesn’t click well with those types.

Still, that doesn’t explain why Vanitas got _so_ mad when Ventus even offered to help him with getting a binder, because Vanitas has never felt more than the urge to just laugh at people who are stuck-up like that. It’s like he was offended that Ventus saw a single flaw in him, but he can’t figure out why.

He eventually gives up, going back to studying until he sees darkness start to set in outside. He’s always felt more at home in the darkness, preferring not to go out in the sunlight because it’s always made him a little anxious for some reason. Vanitas has always felt at home in the darkness of night, walking through forests and past graveyards, to a point where most of the people he knows refer to him as nocturnal.

He gets back to his floor, walking out of the elevator and crashing nearly straight into Ventus.

He stares at him again, unable to think of anything to say, and Ventus just raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing. Move,” he mutters, shoving past the blonde and into his room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how short this one is. The normal people stuff won't last long, I swear. Just bear with me.

Terra drags Vanitas out of their room far too early for Vanitas to be comfortable with.

Terra’s the type of guy who loves a morning jog, so he often wakes Vanitas up in the morning as he gets ready for his daily physical activities. Usually Vanitas just falls back asleep, but his nightmares were particularly bad the night before, so he lets Terra drag him along to a coffee shop across campus.

They walk in, Vanitas rolling the sleeves of his black hoodie up as the heat of the sun made him rash just a little. He’s always had issues with the sun, and he’s always just chalked it up to having extremely sensitive skin, which is another reason he prefers the night to be awake.

He looks around at the store as his eyes adjust, his heart skipping when he notices the blonde barista at the counter. “Seriously, Terra?”

“What?” Terra asks, though Vanitas can tell he knows exactly what. “Oh, Ventus? I didn’t even know he worked here.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes as they walk to the counter. Ventus doesn’t seem fazed at all by his presence, which annoys Vanitas even more. “What can I get for you?”

“Large black, please,” Vanitas says, and Ventus punches it in, taking his money and handing him change without another word. Vanitas steps aside to wait as Terra approaches, and Ventus’s face lights up significantly. Vanitas rolls his eyes at the boy’s clear pettiness as the other employee hands him his coffee, and he heads to find a seat.

It’s clear that Ventus fucked up his order within even smelling his drink, and he rolls his eyes, heading to the counter. “This is wrong.”

“It’s a large black,” Ventus says, monotone, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“There’s sugar in this.”

“Fine. I’ll remake it,” Ventus says, turning and beginning to make Vanitas’s coffee himself. He hands it to him and turns away, not speaking another word, and Vanitas glares at him before heading back to his and Terra’s table.

“Man, your friend is an asshole,” he grumbles, though he has absolutely no reason as to why he cares so much about what Ventus thinks about him.

“Just give him a chance. I really think you two could really hit it off.”

“I don’t know about that. There’s just… Something about him. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

Terra just shrugs, as Vanitas sends another confused glance towards Ventus. He can’t shake the feeling of having some kind of connection to him, but he just shakes it off. It’s not possible, after all.

Vanitas convinces Terra to leave pretty quickly, the two of them walking back to their dorm in an awkward silence.

Terra is the first to break it, much to Vanitas’s annoyance. “I really think you need to give Ventus a chance. He’s really nice, just a bit of a goody two shoes.”

“You seem to really want us to be friends,” Vanitas says with a raised eyebrow, earning a shrug from Terra.

“I just think you guys… Have a lot in common. I think if you just talked to each other-”

“If this is some kind of gay friend hookup scheme, I don’t want any part of it. I’m very happy being miserably single, thank you very much. And besides, he doesn’t really seem like… My type.”

“That is  _ not- _ ”

“No shame, man. He’s hot, sure, but a little bit… What’s the word? Pious.”

“I don’t think he’s religious,” Terra says, and Vanitas shrugs.

“That makes two of us,” he says, opening the door to their dorm building and letting Terra in before following. They head to the elevator as Terra continuously tries to defend his pitiful Cupid scheme.

“I’m just saying, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover,” he says, earning a laugh from Vanitas.

“I’m not. I’m judging him by the fact that he’s been very clearly judging me since I first ran into him in the hallway and I don’t like to surround myself with judgmental blonde kids who very clearly never had to struggle for anything in their lives. I could never subject myself to being the mysterious bad boy trope in a bad fanfiction about a small town country girl, sorry to break your little fantasy.”

Terra blinks once in apparent surprise. “You’re a bit of a dick, you know.”

“Noted,” Vanitas says as he steps off the elevator. “I think he’d be good for a hookup after a night at the bar, but not so much for conversation the morning after.”

“I changed my mind. You’re a massive dick.” Vanitas laughs, clicking his tongue with a wink at Terra, who rolls his eyes but continues. “I think you’re wrong about him. Mark my words, you two are going to be best friends.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes as he opens the door to their dorm. 

“Sorry Terra, I just can’t imagine a single universe where me and Ventus would  _ ever  _ be friends.”


	17. Chapter 17

Vanitas runs into Ventus for a fourth time as he’s heading out for class.

Ventus bumps into him as the boy closes his door, wearing pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt. Vanitas dons his usual black hoodie and beanie, and Ventus looks him up and down before saying anything. “Is Terra in your room?”

“He left early this morning, haven’t seen him since,” Vanitas responds, turning to walk off, when Ventus stops him.

“Can you tell him I need to talk to him when you see him? It’s important.”

“I can pass along a message, if you need,” Vanitas offers, and Ventus’s eyes widen a little in apparent panic, but he shakes his head.

“It’s okay. Thanks, though.”

Vanitas nods slowly, turning to walk off before, when Ventus calls after him. “Hey, Vanitas?”

“Yeah?” he asks, turning back to see Ventus staring at him with a confused look.

“Have we ever… Met before?” He asks, and Vanitas feels his heart skip at the question, wondering if it’s possible that Ventus is having the same weird feelings of connection as he is.

“I don’t think so. I think I’d remember eyes like those,” he says, and walks off without waiting for a response. He thinks back to Ventus’s question as he waits on the lift, wondering what exactly is going on in the boy’s head. He shakes it off as he steps out of his building to head to class.

As he’s walking, he crashes directly into a shorter (as if that’s possible) boy walking with his hands in his pockets and head down on the ground. Vanitas is about to tell him to watch where he’s walking, but looking down at the boy’s face, his breathing hitches.

“Sora.”

The name slips out before he can even think about it, as the boy stares up at him with confusion painted across his features. “Wait, do you… Remember?”

He studies the boy’s face, seeing hope sparkling in his bright blue eyes that remind him of Ventus’s. “Remember what?”

The boy’s face falters just a bit as he allows Vanitas to help him up off the ground. “Never mind, sorry. I just… Thought you were someone else, I guess. Forget I said anything.”

He looks exhausted, he’s got a few small cuts on his face and lips, and one seemingly healing black eye. Vanitas looks down at his hands and notices his bruised knuckles, and he isn’t sure why, but his heart snaps in two at the sight. “Are you okay?” He asks, and the boy nods.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about the collision. I’m Sora,” he says sadly, holding his hand out to shake Vanitas’s, who takes it with caution.

Vanitas shakes his hand while studying his face carefully, feeling like he’s so  _ close  _ to something that he can’t put his finger on. “Vanitas. Nice to meet you.”

Sora stares at him and he stares back, and he feels an overwhelming urge to pull him into a tight hug. He feels tears brimming on the bottoms of his eyes as he has to force himself to pull away from Sora and look at the ground. “I should probably get going. I’m already late.”

He looks back up to see Sora mirroring his own glassy eyes with a nod. “Okay. See you around, Vanitas.”

Sora turns, walking off with hunched shoulders as Vanitas digs his hands into his pockets and walks off.

_ What was that?  _ He wonders to himself, thinking about what could possibly have nearly made him almost cry just looking at some random kid he’d never met before. He can’t figure out why both Sora and  _ Ventus  _ even made him feel so melancholic at the sight of them, or why he knew Sora’s name before he even talked to him. He can’t push away the feeling like he’s so close to figuring something out that he doesn’t know how to fully reach. His chest tightens at the feeling of frustration, and he vows to himself to figure it out.

Starting with Ventus.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas returns to his room, stopping outside the door as he hears two voices speaking.

“I just feel like I’ve met him before. I don’t know, I just get… Bad vibes. Like he’s something dark. Does that make any sense?”

“I think so. Maybe you guys have met before, and you just don’t fully remember. Maybe you should talk to him more.”

“I don’t know, maybe. I just feel like something bad is surrounding him. Maybe he’s a devil worshipper.”

The words  _ devil worshipper  _ send an enraged feeling into Vanitas’s chest, which he can’t exactly explain. He isn’t religious, but he’s never cared about people assuming things about him before.

“I really don’t think that’s the case. I really think you two should just talk. I swear you could be really good friends.”

“I don’t know about that, either. Thanks anyway, Terra. I should be going back to my room. I’ll see you later.”   
Vanitas opens the door just then with an awkward wave at the two of them. “Hey, Terra. Ventus.”

“Hi,” Ventus says, hopping off Terra’s bed. “I was just leaving.”

Vanitas nods, and they just stare at each other for a few moments before Ventus looks down at the ground and walks off.

“How was class?” Terra asks, and Vanitas shrugs.

“Uneventful.”

He doesn’t mention his run in with Sora, he isn’t sure if Terra would think he’s absolutely insane or not. Vanitas spends most of that night googling everything from Déja Vu to going back to reincarnation. He just can’t let the thought go that there’s no way these things are coincidence. There’s no way he could have possibly known Sora’s name, but he did. There’s no way he and Ventus, two complete strangers, should both feel like they’ve met each other before. It’s impossible.

Vanitas was never really a believer in the supernatural. He’s always been a self-proclaimed atheist, never believing in ghost stories or any religious teachings. Still, though, he can’t shake the feeling like there’s something going on with him and Ventus and Sora are somehow connected.

The more he thinks about it, the more his chest seems to tighten, until he feels like the walls are slowly closing in on him. Terra’s already fallen asleep, and Vanitas tries his best to quietly stand up, heading out into the hallway where he sits on the ground and places his head on his knees.

He breathes heavily, his heart racing and his stomach doing flips. He knows he’s going downhill fast, but he can’t drag his thoughts away from Ventus and Sora no matter how hard he tries, until he starts to feel like he’s choking, his entire body shaking. He doesn’t even realize someone’s approached him until a hand is placed on his back, causing him to jump.

He looks like a mess, his hair is matted and his cheeks are damp, but Ventus looks fucking  _ radiant. _

“Are you okay?”

Vanitas just stares at him, unable to form words. For some reason, though, just looking at Ventus seems to calm him down, which in turn just makes his thoughts even worse. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Hey, just be quiet for a bit. You’ll be alright, you just need to relax, okay? Take your mind off of whatever it is.”

Vanitas nods as Ventus gives him a soft smile, something he absolutely doesn’t deserve based on how he’s treated Ventus thus far.

“Why are you helping me?” he asks, and Ventus just shrugs.

“I was hoping we could be friends.”

Vanitas laughs, wiping his nose with his sleeve. “You sound like Terra.”

Ventus chuckles. “Maybe he’s right, you know. Maybe we would be the best of friends.”

Vanitas smiles softly, though he can’t drag his eyes up from the ground. “I’ve never been very good at making friends.”

“I kinda figured that one,” Ventus laughs again, causing Vanitas to roll his eyes. “Are you feeling okay?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas realizes that he’s almost completely come down from his panic.

“Yeah. I think I’m good. I’m sorry you had to see all that.”

Ventus just shrugs, standing up and holding a hand out for Vanitas to take. He does, allowing Ventus to help him up. Vanitas takes his hand, though as soon as they touch, it’s almost as though he starts hallucinating. He freezes as an entire scene plays out in his mind.

_ Vanitas just shrugs, looking back to the remains of the house. “I don’t know about that.” _

_ “You are,” Ventus persists. “You claim you don’t understand the light, but it’s in you. I swear it is.” _

_ Vanitas just shakes his head. “I’m not who you think I am, then.” _

_ Ventus just shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter. We’re friends, right? I think I know you pretty well at this point. You may be persistent that you’re some creature of darkness, but I see something in you, Kara. You’re worth saving.” _

_ “You’ve said that before,” Vanitas muses. _

_ “It’s true. That, and it’s quite literally my job to believe that people are worth saving.” _

Vanitas pulls back, landing back on the ground and staring up at Ventus with wide eyes. “Did you see that?”

Ventus nods, staring at his hand in shock. “Yeah, I think so. What just happened?”

Vanitas hops to his feet, grabbing Ventus on each of his shoulders to try and trigger it again, to no avail. “I have no idea. But it almost makes a lot of sense at the same time,” he says, starting to panic again. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while, about how I feel like I know you from somewhere, and the other day I ran into this kid and I knew his name before he even told me, and I’ve always felt like a piece of my mind is missing but I could never quite place my finger on it, and I feel like I’m getting  _ so  _ close to something, but I don’t know what.”  Ventus blinks once, and Vanitas sighs. “I probably sound insane.”

“No, I know  _ exactly  _ what you’re saying. Listen, weird things have been happening to me, too. It’s like… I know I have a past and a life, but it doesn’t feel  _ real.  _ I almost feel… Fake. Artificial.”

Vanitas stares at him in shock. “Are you serious? You’re not just… Screwing with me?”

Ventus shakes his head, and Vanitas’s heart drops at his next statement.

“Something isn’t right here, and we need to figure out what.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update. I've been super busy. This one's super Vanven heavy, as it should be.

Vanitas runs into Ventus the next day.

Or, rather, Ventus approaches him in the cafeteria with a tray and a nervous smile. “This seat taken?”

Vanitas gestures to Ventus to sit, and he does. “No classes this morning?”

Ventus shrugs, setting his tray down and digging his fork into his food. “None at all today. I’ve just been hanging around. What about you?”

“I finished all mine, so I’m done for the day.”

They continue their unimportant conversation until finally Vanitas decides to bring something up. “So, elephant in the room. Last night was really weird, and I’ve been trying to think of ways we can trigger that thing again, but I’m stuck. I tried after it happened by just touching you again, but nothing happened. Look,” he says, placing a hand on Ventus’s. “Nothing.”

“So what do you think happened?” Ventus asks, mouth full, and Vanitas shrugs.

“I don’t know. Maybe we have to… Connect? Maybe it only works when I’m coming down from a panic attack?” He suggests, and Ventus shrugs.

“Well, I don’t think triggering another panic attack is a good idea, so maybe we’ll have to try the other one. But how to we force a connection?”

“I don’t know. But if we did know each other in the past, there has to be something. There has to be a reason we’re both here living fake lives, right? So maybe we just have to figure out why. And I think I know where to start.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas spends the rest of the day riding around campus on his skateboard, trying to run into the kid he’d met the previous day, Sora. There’s no way he isn’t a part of what’s happening, and Vanitas is determined to find out the truth.

He doesn’t end up finding Sora, though he does run into Riku studying in the quad. He hops off, walking up to his friend with a wave. “Hey.”

“Hey, Vanitas,” Riku says, closing his book. “What’s up?”

“I was just around, figured I’d say hi,” he says, though he continues looking around in hopes that he’ll see Sora walk by. “Did you finish this week’s assignment?”

Riku shakes his head, getting to his feet, looking a little worried for some reason. “No, but I should probably go get a start on that actually. Thanks for the reminder.”

“You okay?” Vanitas asks, and Riku nods, panic seeming to rise as he shoves all his books in his bag.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just gotta run, you know, got class soon,” he says with a glance behind Vanitas.

He turns to see what seems to be stressing Riku out so much, his heart jumping when he sees Sora standing across the quad. “I gotta go, Riku, I’ll see you later!” He says, taking off without a second thought, ignoring Riku calling after him.

Sora turns to walk away quickly, but Vanitas is faster. He makes it to Sora before the boy is out of sight, spinning him around by his hood. Sora’s eyes are wide and he looks scared, but Vanitas doesn’t really care. “Alright, kid, out with it. Who are you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Sora yells, and Vanitas rolls his eyes. “You already know who I am!”

“I know who you’re pretending to be,” Vanitas says, narrowing his eyes at the shorter boy. “I want to know who you _really_ are, and how you’re connected to me and Ventus. Something’s going on, and I need to know what.”

“I really don’t know what you mean-”

“You have to know! Because I know that we know each other, and if you can’t tell me what’s going on then I don’t know how I’m ever going to figure it out. I don’t belong here, neither does Ventus. And neither do you. So you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t,” Sora whispers, his voice breaking. “I wish I could, but I can’t. I don’t want to put you in more danger than you already are, and I’m sorry. I just… I had to come see you.”

“What do you mean?” Vanitas breathes, feeling his heart break at the sight of this stranger’s sadness. Why does he feel so strongly about this kid he’s only met once?

“I can’t stay here much longer, they’ll realize I’m missing. It’s a _lot_ different without you, and I just… I had to see you. I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize for what?”

“For how it was when you left. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly. I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything one day, but for now I really have to leave. I’m sorry, Vanitas. I’ll see you again, I promise.”

Sora doesn’t wait for an answer before turning and walking away, leaving Vanitas more confused than before.

He turns, rushing back to his room to talk to Ventus about his conversation with Sora. He gets there just as Ventus is knocking on his own door. “I see we had the same thought.”

Ventus jumps, turning around to see Vanitas. “I guess so. Actually, I was trying to talk to Terra. But you work, too,” he says, waving Vanitas to follow him to his own room. “I was thinking about how you said you had a weird run in with some kid, right? And how you felt? Well, I had a similar experience with Terra when we first met here, and I was thinking… Maybe _he_ knows something? Maybe that’s why he wanted us to be friends so bad?”

“Maybe. I thought it was just a gay friend hookup scheme,” Vanitas laughs, and Ventus gives him a horrified stare. “Oh, lighten up.”

Ventus shakes his head. “No, that makes sense.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, Terra’s a horrible wingman-”

“No, remember the other night when we had that moment after your panic attack? That was the first time we didn’t hate each other, right? Maybe Terra was onto something.”

“What do you mean?” Vanitas asks, crossing his arms, and Ventus gives him a strange look.

“Just trust me for one second, okay?” he asks, and Vanitas doesn’t even have a chance to ask what he means before Ventus grabs his shoulders and kisses him.

He’s shocked at first, before allowing himself to get into it. He puts a hand on Ventus’s cheek, pulling his face closer, just as Ventus’s theory gets confirmed.

_"I don’t wanna say goodbye,” Vanitas says, voice cracking, and Ventus gives him a sad smile._

_“Me neither. But maybe, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other.”_

_Vanitas swallows once, his throat beginning to close up as tears threaten to spill over, mirroring Ventus’s own glassy eyes. “Here’s hoping, Ven.”_

_Ventus pulls him into another kiss, and Vanitas can feel the boy’s tears on his cheeks. They pull apart, and Vanitas smiles at him once more._

_“I’ll see you soon.”_

_Vanitas takes Ventus’s hand as Terra puts a hand on each of their chests._

Vanitas pulls back, feeling his throat start to tighten and the room start to spin as he backs away from Ventus, into the wall behind him. His entire body starts to shake as the room spins around him, forcing him to drop to the ground and put his head in his hands.

He can hear Ventus saying his name as he holds his hands over his ears, trying to black everything out so he can calm himself down. Everything is so overwhelming, he doesn’t know what’s going on, only that the more he pokes around, the more he realizes that everything in his life is a complete lie. Is that why he felt so connected to Ventus? Because they were together in a past life? What happened to them to lead them to this place, complete strangers in a foreign place?

_Who am I? Really?_

His chest tightens more and more the more he thinks about it. His entire life, the entire past he knows is fake. He’s in danger, according to Sora, and everything he knows is a complete and utter lie. What could possibly have happened to him and Ventus to have their memories cleared of each other and their entire lives? What kind of person could have the power to even do that?

“Vanitas!” He hears, whipping his head up to look at Ventus through tear-soaked eyes. “Look at me.”

“Who are we?!” Vanitas demands, his entire body shaking. “How did we get here?!”

“I don’t know, but we’re not going to figure it out like this. You… You saw Terra too, right?”

Vanitas nods slowly.

“Yeah. I think we know who we need to talk to, then.”

Ventus nods, staring at Vanitas with those ocean-blue eyes that seem _so_ familiar to him. Ventus gives him a soft smile, placing a hand on his, which is enough to bring Vanitas down from his panic. “I think we need to talk first.”

Ventus’s smile fades as he nods. “Yeah. I know.”

“We were… Together, right?” He asks, and Ventus nods.

“It looks like it.”

Vanitas stares at him, trying to read the expression on his face to see if any feelings like that appear. He knows his heart skips every time Ventus smiles at him, and that just his touch is enough to pull Vanitas out of a full panic attack, but is it _love?_

 _Only one way to find out,_ he thinks to himself, rushing forward and kissing Ventus again.

The boy doesn’t seem too against it, allowing Vanitas to lead him over to the bed, throwing him down and climbing on top of him, one hand holding his body and the other tangled in Ventus’s blonde hair. Ventus has one hand up the back of Vanitas’s shirt, the other gripping onto it while pulling his body closer, and the more they kiss, the more Vanitas feels like his life makes sense. He doesn’t know anything about who he is, but he knows Ventus is important. Ventus might just be the most important thing to him.

He doesn’t know his own life, but he knows Ventus needs to be there.

And as the blonde boy pulls his shirt over his head and fights with the buckle on his pants, it’s like every piece of his scattered brain comes together and all it says is _Ventus._

Vanitas pulls the blonde’s shirt over his head, throwing it off to the side.

_This is right._

_You’re a part of me, and that’s all I know._


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think I'm gonna have to change my upload time to 8-9PM instead of 11-12AM. I can't keep up with the morning uploads and this just works better with my schedule. Thanks!!

Vanitas wakes up to Ventus’s bare chest sprawled across the bed they shared.

He rolls over as Ventus pulls him closer, both still half-asleep.

“Hey,” Vanitas whispers, running his hands through Ventus’s hair as he stirs awake, opening his eyes slowly with a soft smile.

“Hi.” Ventus replies, closing his eyes and burying his face into Vanitas’s shoulder.

“Sleep well?” He asks, and Ventus nods.

“Better than I ever have. This feels right, doesn’t it?”

Vanitas smiles, placing a kiss on Ventus’s forehead and pulling the blonde closer. “It does. I don’t know anything about who I am, but for some reason I know I need you with me.”

Ventus laughs, looking up at Vanitas. “That’s corny.”

“Oh, shut up,” Vanitas chuckles, though he loses his embarrassment as he stares at Ventus’s sea-blue eyes. “I love you, Ven.”

Maybe it’s too soon, they’ve really only known each other a few days, but both of them know full well that there’s far more to their story than they remember.

Ventus looks a little surprised, though he smiles back. “I love you, too.”

Vanitas pulls him closer again, leaning his head on Ventus’s as he trails his fingers up and down Vanitas’s bare chest.

He knows he could stay like this forever, Ventus’s head on his chest, but they have work to do. Starting with Terra.

They get dressed at a slow pace, with messy kisses in between articles of clothing and proclamations of love tied into their shoelaces. Vanitas even goes so far as to reach for Ventus’s hand as they walk down the hallway, feeling slightly embarrassed at the PDA, but Ventus smiles over at him, and he finds himself significantly less bothered.

Vanitas opens the door to his dorm, finding Terra gone already. He sighs, turning back to Ventus with a shrug. “Guess it’s gonna have to wait, then.”

Ventus looks pensive, before giving a suggestive shrug. “I can wait. We’ve been living fake lives for weeks. What’s a few more hours?”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow at him. “That seems counterintuitive.”

“I just think that we can wait a little bit, don’t you?”

“Don’t you want to figure out-” he starts, but he’s cut off by Ventus’s lips on his, feeling stupid for not understanding what he was getting at.

“You never shut up,” Ventus says, tugging at the bottom of Vanitas’s top, causing him to scoff.

“You’re one to talk,” he says, and Ventus pulls away, trying but failing to give him an annoyed stare.

Ventus pushes Vanitas backwards onto the bed, climbing on top of him and ginning through kisses. “I’d prefer not talking,” he says, and Vanitas starts a retort, but cuts himself off as Ventus begins kissing him down his chest.

“Alright, shutting up now.”

 

* * *

 

Ventus pulls Vanitas’s black hoodie over his neck as he throws his shoes on. “You sure you don’t want to come?”

Vanitas shakes his head, hopping out of the bed in nothing but boxers. “I’m gonna hang out here just in case Terra comes back. I don’t really want to put off knowing the truth about my entire life much longer- Wait, is that my hoodie?”

Ventus stifles a smile as he shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets in a sad attempt at reflecting Vanitas’s own habit. “It smells like you.”

“That is my _favorite_ sweater-”

“Mine now,” Ventus cuts him off, giving him a quick peck on the nose, and Vanitas tries to look annoyed but he can’t hold down a smile. “Oh, you’ll get it back, I promise. I’ll see you later?”

Vanitas nods, putting his hand on Ventus’s lower back and pulling him close again. “Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

Ventus nods, kissing Vanitas once more before leaving, closing the door behind him, leaving Vanitas alone.

He hangs out alone for a little while, though by the time a few hours pass, he starts growing a little concerned. Terra usually isn’t out this long, and Ventus said he’d call if he got held up, and he should’ve been back by now.

Vanitas gets up, deciding to go out to see if he can track the blonde boy down. He’d said he was going to hang out around the quad, so that’s where Vanitas goes.

It’s dark at this point, the sun setting earlier during the winter months. Vanitas wishes Ventus hadn’t stolen the hoodie he’s been using as his only source of warmth because he’s too proud to admit he needs a jacket, but when he gets to the quad, he sees no trace of Ventus.

He takes out his phone, dialing Ventus’s number and hoping the boy answers, starting to get a bad feeling about the situation.

He taps his foot anxiously as he waits for Ventus to answer. He gets sent to voicemail, cursing and going to call again when someone calls his name.

He turns, seeing someone standing behind him that he’s never seen before. “Do I know you?”

The man, a tall guy with a long slicked back ponytail and an eye patch covering his right eye, takes a few steps towards Vanitas, sending a shiver down his spine. He’s never seen this guy before, but he feels like he isn’t someone he wants to be around.

“Took long enough to track you down, boss,” he says, earning an eyebrow in response from Vanitas.

“What are you talking about?” He asks, but the man seems unfazed.

“I gotta say, when we found out your brother’s friend was keeping tabs on you, we weren’t sure it’d be a lead to anything, but it seems even a memory wipe can’t keep that darkness in you away,” he says, and Vanitas shakes his head.

“What do you mean? What darkness? Who are you?”

“Names Xigbar, and I’m here to bring you home. Your majesty.”

Vanitas’s heart starts picking up, and as curious as he is to know who this guy is and how they apparently know each other, he knows he can’t leave without Ventus. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without Ven.”

“That your little Angel toy?” Xigbar laughs, materializing a weapon out of thin air, much to Vanitas’s shock. “We’ll find him, too, I’m sure. You two nearly started a Holy War, you know. You could’ve easily started the apocalypse in his realm, but somehow you didn’t. Not really important, though. First, you need to come back with me, and then we can focus on finding your brother and your little Angel friend.”

“Brother?” Vanitas asks, wondering who he could be talking about. Terra? Are him and Terra _brothers?_

“Come on, don’t make this hard on me. I don’t really feel like fighting today.”

Vanitas shakes his head, gripping his fist, knowing full well he can’t fight off Xigbar’s crossbows or _whatever_ they are, but he knows there’s no way this guy can get him to leave Ventus behind, even with his apparent knowledge of Vanitas’s true identity.

“I’m not leaving without Ventus.”

“Alright, don’t say I wasn’t civil,” Xigbar says, holding up his crossbow. Vanitas goes into fight mode immediately, rushing at Xigbar before he even registers what he’s doing. He throws a punch at his face, colliding hard enough to send a wave of pain up his arm as Xigbar slams his crossbow straight into Vanitas’s skull, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re pretty pathetic without your keyblade, huh?” Xigbar laughs as Vanitas’s ears ring. He holds a hand to his head, seeing blood dripping onto the ground from the wound. He tries to pull himself up, nothing but thoughts of Ventus propelling him back into the fight, though he doesn’t get far.

He hears Terra call his name just as Xigbar’s boot slams into his face, and then there’s nothing but black.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas wakes up to blinding light above him. He holds his hand up to try and block it, hearing a soft voice say his name next to him.

“Ven?” He mutters, trying to reorient himself, but when he opens his eyes, he just sees Terra looking down at him. “Where’s Ventus?”

“How are you feeling?” Terra asks, ignoring Vanitas’s question.

“My head…” Vanitas whispers, feeling his consciousness start to slip away again. “I want to see Ventus.”

“You need to lay down, Vanitas. Just lay down.”

“No, I want… I need to see Ventus…”

His voice trails off as he feels himself slipping off again, just as the world fades out once again.

 

* * *

 

The next time he comes to, he’s a lot more coherent. He sits up, looking around the room to see Terra sitting on his bed. “Welcome back.”

“What happened?” Vanitas asks, looking around his room. “Where’s Ven?”

“I think you need to just-”

“I need to see Ventus. Where is he?”

“Vanitas, I-”

“Where is he, Terra?!” Vanitas demands, jumping to his feet and nearly falling over as the sudden movement makes him lightheaded. “I know you know the truth about us, and I know you know where he is.”

“Vanitas, you really need to sit down, you’re not in a state to-”

“I don’t care, Terra! I want to know where Ventus is!”

“I can’t tell you!” Terra yells back, and Vanitas’s heart drops. “We had to separate you. The closer you guys got, the more people managed to track you guys down. I’ve been holding off people left and right because the more you and Ventus got closer to each other, the more your darkness and his light started to come out with your memories coming back. I didn’t realize it would be an issue, but… We had to separate you two.”

“What are you talking about?” Vanitas demands, and Terra sighs, shaking his head.

“We had to split you up. It’s the only way to keep you guys safe.”

“Safe from _what?”_

“Your fathers. I know you’ve figured some stuff out, you wouldn’t be asking me all this if you hadn’t. Ventus is gone, Vanitas. I’m sorry.”

Vanitas materializes Void Gear into his hands, like the man, Xigbar, had done with his own weapons. It doesn’t surprise Vanitas this time, though, in fact, it’s almost instinctual. He throws Terra into a wall and holds Void Gear onto his throat. “Where did you take him?”

“I have no idea where he is. Riku was set to take him somewhere else, I have no idea where. I’m sorry-”

“I don’t want your apologies! I want Ventus back!” Vanitas snarls, tears beginning to spill over as he debates whether or not to kill Terra, the man who saved he and Ventus’s lives in the first place. That doesn’t matter, though, because what kind of life would it be without Ventus?

Vanitas is about to send Terra’s head flying when their door flies open, and he looks over to see Sora, the boy he’d met before, looking completely beaten and bruised.

“Sora?” He asks, and the brown haired boy just stares at him.

“Vanitas.”

Vanitas is forced to let Terra go as Sora’s eyes roll back into his head, catching the boy just as he drops to the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No flame burns forever  
> You and I both know this all too well  
> Most don't even last the night

Vanitas lets Terra help him drag Sora into his bed and lay him down before turning on him again.

“Alright, you have a lot of explaining to do. Who is he?” Vanitas asks, and Terra shakes his head.

“I’ll let you two discuss that when he wakes up, I think it’d be better coming from him.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes, taking a seat and pressing his fingertips to his lips in thought. He’s only met Sora a few times, but he feels an undeniable concern for the boy who’d just passed out on his floor. Terra had reassured him that Sora would be okay with some rest, so now Vanitas is stuck just waiting for Sora to wake up in hopes that he’ll explain more than Terra will.

“Where is Ventus?” Vanitas asks again, not really expecting an answer, and Terra doesn’t give one.

Vanitas doesn’t speak a word to Terra for the rest of the night, eventually slipping off into sleep at around 4am.

He wakes with a start from a dream about Ventus, looking around the room for the blonde boy and feeling his heart sink when he remembers his disappearance.

Sora starts stirring at this point, too, and Vanitas sends an angry glance at Terra as he stands to check on him. “I got it.”

Vanitas gets up, heading over to Sora as his eyes flutter open. “Vanitas?”

“Hey,” he says, awkwardly, as Sora throws his arms around his neck.

“I thought you were dead,” Sora whispers, burying his head into Vanitas’s neck. He awkwardly hugs Sora back, though as he does so he feels the urge to hug this kid as tightly as he can, as though he’d just been reunited with an old friend.

“I’m alright,” Vanitas responds, pulling away from Sora. “I don’t mean to come of as rude, but… Who are you?”

Sora looks hurt for a moment, looking down at the ground and biting his lip. “I’m your brother.”

“I don’t have any brothers,” Vanitas says, and Sora shakes his head.

“Should I tell him?” Sora asks, looking over at Terra. Vanitas sends him a nervous glance as the taller boy nods, signaling Sora to go on.

And he does.

“You might want to sit down for this.”

Vanitas takes a seat, and Sora continues.

“You and I are the sons of Xehanort, the King of the Dark Realm, more commonly known as Hell. You’re his oldest son, the Crown Prince, a Demon and a Reaper. You’re 422 years old, and you used to be the head of the Physical Torture department in Hell until you changed over to a desk job and occasional Reaper missions. Xehanort is… Not a great father, and the two of us were really all each other had, until you started disappearing every so often and I had no idea where you were going. At that time I was also dealing with some stuff of my own, and I’m sorry about the way I pushed you away, you didn’t deserve that. I just didn’t want to drag you into my issues, and I was way too scared of Xigbar to tell anyone about what was going on. And then, out of nowhere, you just disappeared. I was so busy dealing with my own issues that I didn’t even notice until Axel, one of your friends, pointed it out to me. Nobody had seen you in three days. I went into panic mode, and me and Riku went out to find you. We ended up running into Terra, who explained everything, and told me that I can’t see you, at least for a little while, because he didn’t want anyone following me to you. So Riku volunteered to come up here to watch out for you, keep you safe, and I had to go on pretending I had no idea where you were while Xehanort went crazy trying to find you and Xigbar took advantage of your absence, and I let him, because I figured if his attention stayed on me, then he wouldn’t concern himself with finding you. He kept telling me that I don’t belong with you, that we aren’t the same, and I’m not who I think I am. I don’t know when his psychological torture turned to torture, but it wasn’t long ago. I guess he eventually tracked you down because of your memories coming back, and I came to make sure you were okay. I thought he killed you. I was so worried.”

Vanitas reaches forward to wipe the tear that falls down Sora’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t bare the thought of never being able to see you again after how horribly I treated you before you disappeared.”

“So, I’m… A Demon?” Vanitas whispers, and Sora nods. He’s shocked, sure, but for some reason it feels like it makes sense. He isn’t sure why he isn’t panicking about the revelation, but it really just fills him with a sense of relief.

“Yeah. Crown Prince of Hell. Vanitas, we need you home. Things are bad without you there. Xehanort’s announced that you’ve been presumed dead, and he still refuses to coronate me for some reason, meaning next in line is probably going to go to Xigbar. Who knows what would happen with the two of them in charge?”

Vanitas sighs, looking down at the ground. “I need to find Ventus first. I won’t leave until I know he’s safe.”

Terra doesn’t answer immediately. Vanitas is absolutely planning an escape route already as soon as he can convince Terra to bring him back to Ventus. He wonders if he’d forgive himself for killing Terra, but figures his best bet is to just take Ventus and Sora and run.

He turns, meeting Terra’s eyes with a pleading look instead of an angry one. “Terra, please.”

“You guys can’t be that close again, you’re going to both need to be reset-”

“At least let me say goodbye,” he says, tears welling in his eyes, and Terra sighs.

“One of the other Angels, Aqua, came to get him. I was supposed to reboot you before meeting them.”

“You’re not a Demon too?” He asks, and Terra shakes his head.

“Nope. Military Commander of Heaven- well, former Military Commander. I can’t imagine I’ll get my job back after helping you and Ventus both disappear.”

“Do you remember Void Gear?” Sora interrupts, and Vanitas looks back at him with a nod. He summons his Keyblade, and Sora does the same. “You probably don’t remember Kingdom Key. These are legendary weapons that can strike down any number of enemies. You’ll wanna keep yours ready, because I’m not the only one who’s found you.”

Vanitas nods somberly, looking back at Terra. “Well?”

Terra sighs, shaking his head. “Fine. What kind of Angel would I be if I said no? We’ll have to be quick, before someone finds them first.”

 

* * *

 

They make it to where Terra had sent Ventus to find the area completely empty. He looks around, trying to find any sign of Ventus, before angrily kicking a rock at a tree. “Where are they?!” He demands, turning on Terra instantly. “Did you lie to me?!”

Terra shakes his head, looking equally as worried as Vanitas does.

The three of them turn, all materializing Keyblades as someone steps through the tree line. It’s a tell, slim girl with a head of bright blue hair and striking blue eyes.

“Aqua!” Terra exclaims, rushing forward to help the beaten looking girl.

“They took Ven,” she says, stumbling forwards as Terra holds her up.

“What do you mean?” Vanitas asks, heart racing. “Who took Ven?”

Aqua glares at him. “Are you Vanitas? The one who caused this mess?”

Aqua summons her own keyblade, a dainty looking blue thing, holding it to Vanitas’s throat. Sora bats it away quickly with his own, putting his body between hers and Vanitas’s. “Don’t touch my brother.”

“Maybe your brother shouldn’t have convinced Ventus to give up his entire life for him,” Aqua says, and Vanitas just stares at her.

_ Is that what happened? _

“Just tell us where he is,” Vanitas whispers, voice shaking.

She looks him dead in the eyes with a glare as she speaks, spite biting her tone.

“Eraqus found him. He’s gone. Thanks to you.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your heart fits like a key  
> Into the lock on the wall  
> I turn it over, I turn it over  
> But I can't escape

Vanitas doesn’t stay with Terra and Aqua long.

He knows Aqua doesn’t like him, that much is obvious, but he isn’t usually one to care. He isn’t sure how he’s going to do it, but he knows the only chance at getting Ventus back before his father does something to split them up forever is to find him before that can happen.

He tells Sora to follow him, ignoring Terra’s attempts to stop them. Taking him down with Void Gear does the job fairly easily, telling Terra to mind his own business as Vanitas turns off, Sora following closely behind.

“What are you gonna do?” Sora asks, and Vanitas doesn’t even look back when he speaks.

“I’m going to Heaven.”

“And how the _hell_ do you plan on getting there?” Sora asks, and Vanitas answers by holding Void Gear up to his own throat.

“Vanitas, wha-”

“There’s no other way, is there?” He asks, turning back to Sora. “I can’t do anything in this form, and I don’t know how to get my memories back, or even if that would put me back into my Demon form, so it seems like the only solution is for me to go there the old fashioned way, right?”

Sora throws Void Gear out of Vanitas’s hands with his own Keyblade, knocking it to the ground and stepping between Vanitas and his weapon as he tries to pick it back up. “You’re not going to kill yourself, Vani. What do you think that would solve? You’d just be dead, like everyone else up there. They know who you are, you really think you’d last long? Besides, what makes you think you’d end up in Heaven anyway? Human form or not, you’re still a Demon. You’d end up right where you started without any of your powers. You need to be rational about this.”

Vanitas sighs, looking down at the ground sadly. “I know. Do you know how to get to Heaven?”

Sora shrugs, looking away from Vanitas’s eyes. “I think so.”

“How?!” Vanitas exclaims, putting his hands on either of Sora’s shoulders.

“It’s something Xehanort told us when we were younger, you just don’t remember it. It isn’t hard, but I don’t think anyone’s ever attempted it for fear of dying. It’s unknown if Demons can even enter Heaven-”

“We have to try,” he says, and Sora sighs.

“Fine. But we have to deal with you first.”

“What about me?” Vanitas asks, slightly offended for some reason, and Sora rolls his eyes.

“You’re basically a human equivalent right now. There’s no way you would survive a trip through a portal like that. You need to get your memories back.”

Vanitas raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you think I would if I could? Terra won’t give them back, he wants to reboot me again and send me somewhere else. I don’t know how to get them back.”

“Luckily for you, I do. At least, I have an idea. You’ve been tracked down because of your darkness slowly coming back to you, right? Meaning you’re slowly turning back into a Demon anyway. So we just need to find a way to speed it up, and you should be good to go. Right?”

“Easier said than done.”

“Demons track other Demons through aura sensing. If Xigbar managed to find you, that means you’ve already partially gotten some of your powers back, if Void Gear is any inclination. I think you just need to let the darkness in, Vanitas. You just need to reach down inside of you and let it out. Terra didn’t take anything from you, he just suppressed it. So dig it out. Let the darkness in.”

“I don’t know how,” he says, shaking his head, and Sora sighs.

“Let in every negative emotion. Any anger, hurt, fear. Everything negative you can feel, do it. Think about Terra taking your life away from you, think about Xigbar, think about me pushing you away for so long. Let it in.”

Vanitas closes his eyes, thinking back to the anger he felt when Terra told him Ven was gone, and the terror when Aqua admitted that Eraqus had found him. Fear for what’s to come next, that the boy he loves could very well never be seen again, all because his father is too protective and scared of the darkness to allow his son anywhere near it. Will Ventus even be rebooted? Will all his memories of Vanitas be removed and he’ll just go back to being his father’s lap dog?

The real trigger that sends Vanitas over the edge is the thought of Ventus’s memory being wiped clean of him. It fills him with enough anger, sadness and fear that he feels his chest begin to clench, his entire body beginning to be surrounded by a dark fog as he drops to the ground, pulling his knees into his chest and clenching his entire body. It hurts, who knew that darkness could hurt so much, but it also fills him with a comforting familiarity. His body begins to shake as he finds himself falling back into another panic attack, this one the worst of them all as his brain is flooded with dark thoughts to go along with his memories flooding back into him.

 

_“You are, by far, the most self absorbed person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting.”_

_“I’m a demon, what did you expect?!”_

_“All I wanted was a thank you!”_

 

_“I just don’t think blind faith is a good way of living life. I like to form my own opinions based on my own experiences. As of now, I believe more in you having light in your heart than I do in the God that Eraqus claims to speak to being real.”_

 

_“What do you say? Friends?” Ventus asks, a hopeful smile painted across his porcelain features as he holds out his hand._

_Vanitas was never any good at making friends, but seeing Ventus smiling, a genuine smile, something he never really sees in the dark realm, he can’t find it in him to say no._

_Vanitas takes his hand, and they shake on it._

_“Friends.”_

 

_“You’re different from other demons I’ve met, you know.”_

_Vanitas just shrugs, looking back to the remains of the house. “I don’t know about that.”_

_“You are,” Ventus persists. “You claim you don’t understand the light, but it’s in you. I swear it is.”_

 

_“I said I’ll see you soon,” Ventus laughs. “You seem… Flustered.”_

_“Flustered?” Vanitas repeats, his voice cracking, cursing himself out in his mind. “Me? No way.”_

_“Well, I’d argue with you, but I don’t know if it’d be fair because you seem a little out of it. I didn’t know demons could blush though.”_

 

_“Shut up!” Ventus snaps suddenly, his Keyblade flying up to sit against Vanitas’s neck. “Just because Terra didn’t kill you doesn’t mean I won’t!”_

_“Then do it, you coward!” Vanitas yells back, all but shoving his neck into Ventus’s Keyblade. The blonde pulls it back in surprise at his sudden outburst, stopping Vanitas from impaling himself with it, but Vanitas wraps his hands around the blade and holds it against his neck. His hands burn, causing him searing pain, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even try to stop the tears as he pulls Ventus’s keyblade back towards his neck. “Kill me, Ventus! Do it!”_

 

_“Why was I supposed to think that someone as fucking pure as you would ever want anything to do with someone like me, someone with my position? My title? Was I supposed to think that you’d really still think I was worth saving if you knew the truth?!”_

_“Yes! Because I would have! But you could never bring yourself to fully trust me because of who I am, even though I’d never given you a reason not to! Because you’re a self loathing pessimist with walls up to your ego shutting people out!”_

_“You’re the one who wanted to be friends!”_

_“You didn’t seem like you had any arguments! You could have stopped it if you wanted to!”_

_“Of course I didn’t want to!”_

_“And why not, your majesty?!”_

_“Because I’m in love with you!”_

 

_"I don’t wanna say goodbye,” Vanitas says, voice cracking, and Ventus gives him a sad smile._

_“Me neither. But maybe, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other.”_

_Vanitas swallows once, his throat beginning to close up as tears threaten to spill over, mirroring Ventus’s own glassy eyes. “Here’s hoping, Ven.”_

_Ventus pulls him into another kiss, and Vanitas can feel the boy’s tears on his cheeks. They pull apart, and Vanitas smiles at him once more._

_“I’ll see you soon.”_

 

Vanitas’s eyes fly open as he sees the change in his clothing attire. He’s in his Dark Suit, the outfit he used to wear back in the Dark Realm. He looks up at Sora, who’s staring down at him with a smile.

“Welcome back.”

 

* * *

 

They have very little trouble finding Heaven’s gates.

With Vanitas’s memories restored, the two of them both have their full knowledge on how to get there. Vanitas knows it’s not a good idea, and he could very easily die trying, but he doesn’t care. Seeing Ventus is his only priority.

The closer he and Sora get to Heaven’s gates, the more Vanitas starts to blister. Sora doesn’t seem to take notice, but Vanitas notices that Sora seems completely unbothered by the proximity. Sora’s always been unbothered by the light, but Vanitas is shocked that he’s so unfazed by the light cascading from Heaven’s gates, while Vanitas can hardly keep a straight face through the pain. It’s something Vanitas had always wanted to ask Sora about, but he’d never brought it up for fear of having to admit that their trips to the Mortal Realm always caused Vanitas to blister. He was always afraid that admitting it would make Sora not want to go up with him anymore.

“Hey, Sora?” Vanitas asks, and his brother looks up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Whatever happens, you know I love you, right?” Vanitas asks, and Sora smiles softly.

“Of course. I love you, too, Vani. Don’t worry, we’ll both be just fine.”

Vanitas takes a deep breath before nodding. “I sure hope so.”

They manage to sneak through Heaven’s gates with significantly less chaos than Vanitas had expected. They only needed to take out a few guards, which isn’t hard with Vanitas feeling stronger than he ever has.

They manage to navigate their way to the main chambers, Heaven’s throne room, fairly easily while taking advantage of Vanitas’s background in the Physical Torture department. He isn’t thrilled about having to pull out those strings, but he has to admit to himself that it does feel good being able to call on the darkness again.

They burst through the doors to the throne room, and Vanitas immediately makes eye contact with Ventus.

“Ven!” He calls, seeing Ventus’s eyes light up from across the room.

“Vanitas, what are you doing here?!” Ventus calls back, starting to run towards Vanitas, though Eraqus steps in front of the blonde before he can make it very far.

“Ah, the sons of the king of Hell himself,” Eraqus says, though his tone is nothing but friendly.

“Let Ventus go,” Vanitas says, summoning Void Gear, and Eraqus laughs.

“You’re trying to take my own son away from his own home?” Eraqus asks, and Vanitas glares at him.

“He doesn’t want to be here. Did you never stop to think about what he wants?”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants, he has a responsibility to his people!” Eraqus says, summoning his own keyblade. Vanitas steps back at the familiarity of the feeling; it’s the same as the feeling he gets around Ventus’s keyblade. This is an Angel blade.

“Vanitas, just go! I’ll find you, I promise!” Ventus calls, and Vanitas shakes his head.

“I’m not leaving here without you!”

“You won’t be leaving here at all,” Eraqus says, rushing forward at Vanitas, who prepares to strike back just as Eraqus sends a beam of light at Vanitas.

It moves so fast that Vanitas can’t even process what’s happening, until he’s being shoved out of the way and onto the ground.

He looks up to see Sora smiling down at him, just as the beam of light strikes him in the chest.

Sora drops to the ground with a thud, Vanitas rushing forward to catch him, his heart pounding out of his chest. He shakes his brother, but he doesn’t move. His eyes are closed and he doesn’t seem to be moving, and Vanitas shakes him to try and get him to open his eyes.

“No, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen. You said we’ll both be fine, you can’t leave me, Sora. I just got you back.”

He isn’t sure why Eraqus isn’t attacking him, but he also doesn’t care. He drops his head onto Sora’s chest, letting out a scream.

_“Sora!”_


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm losing my mind  
> Trying to find the perfect line  
> I think I'm running out of time  
> I need a miracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the length. if i kept going it would've been 5k words. see you tomorrow.

The entire room sits in silence.

Vanitas feels a hand on his shoulder, but he doesn’t look up. He knows it’s Ventus, he should be thrilled to have Ventus near him again, but he can’t bring himself to look up from Sora’s body. At least, not until he hears Eraqus speak.

“Did you say… Sora?”

Vanitas’s head whips up, summoning Void Gear into his hands and lashing forward, striking Eraqus across the face and knocking the man to the floor. He’s striking in a blind rage, more than likely about to kill an injured Eraqus, when his Keyblade is stopped mid-strike.

“Vanitas, stop. He doesn’t deserve to die.”

He doesn’t look over at the source of the voice, just continues staring down at Eraqus, the man who’d just murdered his brother in cold blood, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Did you call that boy Sora?” Eraqus asks again, and Vanitas snarls at him.

“You don’t even deserve to know his name,” he says, still pushing Void Gear against Ventus’s Keyblade, ready to kill Eraqus in a moment’s notice.

“Let me see him,” Eraqus says, cautiously getting up.

“Don’t go anywhere near him!” Vanitas screams, pushing him back down to the ground with his foot. Ventus puts his hand on Vanitas’s shoulder, though he doesn’t soften at the gesture.

“I- I had a son once. He was taken from me when he was only a few years old, he… He had the name Sora as well,” Eraqus says, and Vanitas’s eyes widen.

“What the hell are you talking about? Sora is my brother. He’s a Demon.”

Eraqus stares up at Vanitas with pleading eyes. “Please. Let me see him.”

Vanitas doesn’t respond, but he lets Eraqus get to his feet this time. The man approaches Sora’s body cautiously, before dropping to his knees on his chest. “Could it really be you?”

“Ventus, what’s he talking about?” Vanitas asks in a dangerous whisper, and Ventus shakes his head as they watch Eraqus stroke Sora’s cheek.

“My father had a son, a long time ago. He disappeared, along with whoever his mother was, presumed dead, and so Eraqus adopted Roxas and I as his own sons, probably to fill a void. He’s not our real father, most people know that, but he’s always treated us as his own sons. He’d mentioned his real son a few times, though never with a name. Everyone always assumed it had something to do with a Demon, most people figured Eraqus had an affair with one, which i guess would run in the family, but there was never any proof... I don’t know if it’s even possible. My father’s son is dead. Everyone knows that.”

Vanitas stares as Eraqus, crying over Sora’s body, as he feels his legs about to give out from under him, realizing that it makes absolute sense. Xehanort seemed to pull him out of nowhere, placed him in Vanitas’s care with the intention of breaking him into the darkness, but it never got anywhere. It was always as though Sora had some barrier keeping the darkness out of him enough to convert him to Vanitas’s level of golden eyes. Vanitas had an aunt when he was younger, who disappeared years ago, back before Vanitas even knew Sora, which would explain the resemblance. Xehanort would be the type to kill his own sister to keep up appearances, probably with plans to kill Sora as well had Vanitas not taken a liking to him. It would explain Eraqus’s anger at Ventus having an affair with a Demon, too. That, and the fact that Sora never blistered in the sun…

And Ventus.

Ventus was always  _ certain  _ that someone in Vanitas’s life had touched his heart with light, and Vanitas never for a second thought it could actually be possible. He always assumed Ventus was just trying to justify his insane determination to save Vanitas from himself that he’d found a light in a heart of pure darkness, but the entire time he was right.

It was Sora.

His brother, an Angel.

The second son of the King of Hell is actually the first born son of the King Regent of Heaven. Heir to Heaven’s throne.

Sora isn’t even his brother.

Is that what Xigbar had on him? The  _ truth  _ about him? Vanitas had accused Sora of knowing, of being a willing party in Xigbar’s taunting, but there’s absolutely no way Sora would have kept that a secret, especially not standing in the throne room in front of Eraqus.

He hadn’t even realized that Ventus has dropped to his knees, hands covered in blood as he tries desperately to heal Sora. Eraqus seems to be trying again, but Vanitas had beaten him to a point where he doesn’t seem entirely capable of doing anything. Vanitas drops to his knees as he watches his brother, his  _ cousin _ , an Angel, being healed by his true father. Tears start to flow down his cheeks as the room spins around him, until he starts towards Sora’s body, crying onto his chest.

“I’m sorry, Sora. I should have done more. I should have known. You were always my light. Please, just come back. I can’t lose you.”

It’s at that moment that two guards rush in, eyeing down Vanitas immediately.

“Sir, the Demons have infiltrated. They’ve taken over the front gates.”

“What?” Eraqus demands, looking over at Vanitas. “Did you lead an attack here?”

“Of course not!” Vanitas yells back. “I only came here to see Ventus one last time before you wiped his memory of me. I came to say goodbye.”

“Well, it seems as though you were followed,” Eraqus says, rather accusingly, and attempts to get up, but is very obviously too weak to do so from Vanitas’s attacks.

“I’ll deal with it,” Ventus says to the guards, glancing back at Vanitas. “I’m gonna need your help.”

“Of course,” Vanitas says, taking Ventus’s hand.

“You two, tend to their wounds,” Ventus instructs the guards, who nod.

“Pardon me, sir, but are you… Friends with this Demon?” one of the men asks, and Ventus glares at him.

“Best friends,” he retorts, leading Vanitas out of the hall by the hand.

The two take off, running towards the strongest aura they can track. Vanitas stops dead when he realizes it’s all too familiar to him.

“Vani, we have to go,” Ventus says, and Vanitas shakes his head.

“That aura… Ven, you have to leave.”

“Are you crazy?” Ventus asks, taking Vanitas by the hand, who shakes his head.

“No, Ven. You need to let me handle this.”

“Why? We’ve always worked better as a team-” he starts to argue, but Vanitas cuts him off by kissing him.

“Please, just trust me. That aura, it’s… It’s my father. Xehanort.”

Ventus stares at him, wide eyed, before nodding. “Right. Then we’d better get going.”

Vanitas knows deep down he should incarcerate Ventus so he doesn’t go and get himself killed, but he also knows the blonde boy is right. They do work better as a team.

He takes Ventus’s face in his hands, giving him one final kiss, before nodding. “Together.”

“Together,” Ventus nods.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can I put it down into words  
> When it's almost too much for my soul alone?  
> I loved and I loved and I lost you  
> And it hurts like hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about this one.
> 
> i uploaded a playlist of songs i used to write this fic. link is here:
> 
> https://8tracks.com/rorypond/and-way-down-we-go

“You got your memories back, I assume.”

Ventus nods. “Yeah. Eraqus gave me them back just as you showed up. I assume his next step was to remove all the memories of you, but he never really got the chance.”

Vanitas nods, grateful for his perfect timing.

“What could have possibly inclined Xehanort to come here?” Ventus asks.

“I assume he’s looking for me,” Vanitas says, ignoring Ventus’s gaze. “He can sense me just as well as I can sense him. Xehanort’s been looking for a reason to start a Holy War for as long as I’ve been alive. I wouldn’t put it passed him to pretend to care about my well being as an excuse to break into Heaven.”

“Guess that means this is our fault,” Ventus says, swatting a Demon down as they run.

“It’s Xehanort’s fault, it’s not like you sent him an invitation to infiltrate Heaven,” Vanitas says, pulling Ventus out of the way of an impending weapon, striking the Demon down as they continue towards Xehanort’s aura. “Maybe I should just surrender. If I offer to let him take me home, he may consider it.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Ventus argues. “We’ll figure something out, we just need to deal with this situation first. I promise you we’ll figure it out, Vanitas. I’m not letting you go that easily.”

Vanitas sends Ventus a soft smile, though it changes to panic as he sees someone leaping behind him, throwing Ventus out of the way and blocking the attack with Void Gear, then letting out a laugh and grinning.

“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” Axel laughs, holding a hand out. Vanitas looks at it, then rolls his eyes, pulling Axel into a tight hug.

“It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too, boss. I thought you’d ended up on the chopping block with how suddenly you disappeared, maybe your old man finally had enough of you showing up to work in your pajamas,” Axel laughs, and Vanitas rolls his eyes.

“Well, here I am. You here with Xehanort?”

“I hitched a ride, but I’m here on my own accord,” Axel shrugs, casting a gaze at Ventus as the blonde stands up off the ground. “Picked up a stray?”

“Axel, Ventus. Ventus, Axel,” Vanitas introduces them quickly. “What business could you possibly have in Heaven?” Vanitas asks, and Axel laughs.

“Well, you had to be somewhere, right? I knew you wouldn’t die so easily. Where’s your brother? He vanished a few days ago, too, I figured he went looking for you.”

Vanitas’s smile fades, looking down at the ground, not able to say it out loud.

Axel’s silent for a moment, before nudging Vanitas in the arm. “Hey, come on. Can’t win a Holy War with your mind elsewhere, right? Once this is all over I’ll take you out for a drink. Maybe Ireland. I hear they have great pubs.”

Vanitas sends Axel a grateful smile, before the red haired boy shoves him to the side, deflecting a blow towards Ventus that Vanitas sees has come from a blonde girl, recognizing Larxene.

“Leave this one to me, boss!” Axel calls, taking the fight with Larxene away from the two of them as they take off.

“Friend of yours?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas laughs.

“You could say that.”

Ventus doesn’t respond, and Vanitas turns a sharp corner to a large set of doors. “There.”

“That’s where he is?” Ventus asks, and Vanitas lets out a shaky breath, before nodding.

“Yeah. Maybe I should just go back. He needs me to run Hell for him, maybe he’d leave-”

“Vanitas, your father is a tyrant, you’ve said it yourself. We need to deal with this. If there’s not a Holy War now, how long until there is one? With you on the throne of Hell… There might finally be peace. We could unite the two realms.”

Vanitas stares at him, realizing he’d never even entertained the possibility of peace. He never thought optimistically about his and Ventus’s relationship, but with the knowledge that Eraqus himself had an affair with a Demon, could it be possible. Could his relationship with Ventus mend the centuries old war between Heaven and Hell?

They both have to end up Kings of their respective realms, anyway. Eraqus isn’t immortal, nobody is. Eventually Xehanort and Eraqus will have to pass, and Ventus and Vanitas will take over for them.

They could bring peace.

“Ven, that’s never even come close to happening before,” Vanitas says, and Ventus gives him a smile.

“Well, there’s a first for everything.”

Vanitas gives Ventus a kiss, pulling him as close as possible as if it’s the last time they’ll ever be able to do it.

Vanitas pulls back, nods, and with that, they set into the room.

Ventus screams with horror as soon as the doors open.

On the floor in front of Xehanort is a boy who looks identical to Ventus, not moving.

“Roxas!” Ventus calls out, and Vanitas rushes forward, stopping his blow by a hair. Xehanort looks surprisingly shocked to see him, and Ventus just stares up at him with hate in his eyes.

“Hello, father.”

Xehanort doesn’t look shocked for long, pulling his keyblade back and laughing. “Vanitas, it’s good to see you alive.”

“Save it. You never cared about me, alive or dead. I won’t let you attack Heaven like this. Do you have any idea what a Holy War like this could cause? Not only to Heaven and Hell, but to the Mortal Realm? The realm _we’re_ supposed to protect?” Vanitas demands, lashing out at Xehanort, who bats him away easily.

“An apocalypse, of course,” Xehanort responds lazily, swiping Vanitas above his eye, causing him to stumble back as blood pours over his eye. He winces in pain, holding one hand over the wound as Xehanort lashes out at him relentlessly. Vanitas hadn’t gone into this fight expecting his father to actually try and kill him, but who knows what he’s truly capable of?

“How could an apocalypse possibly benefit you?” Vanitas screams, growing weaker by the second as his vision gets hazier and hazier from the blow to the head, blood dripping on the floor in front of him.

“It wouldn’t, I just always wondered what it would be like,” Xehanort responds, sending a chill down Vanitas’s spine.

Starting an apocalypse out of sheer curiosity. Could his father really be that evil? So careless of lives that he would start a Holy War to cause the apocalypse out of sheer _boredom_ and _curiosity?_

He isn’t sure why the revelation shocks him so much, but he freezes just long enough for Xehanort to strike him in the side, sending him falling to the ground, Void Gear flying out of his hands and across the room as he coughs, hardly able to breathe from the blow. He tries to crawl away as Xehanort approaches him, until the old man has one boot on Vanitas’s wielding wrist, stepping down on it and causing Vanitas so much pain that he screams, trying desperately to pull his hand away, to no avail.

He sees Ventus tending to Roxas out of the corner of his eye, and he thinks to himself that if he’s to die here, by his father’s hand, he’s glad he managed to save Roxas.

He feels the world fading out as he slowly drops his head to the ground, still screaming as everything gets darker and darker, blood pouring over his eye and his wrist all but shattered, until Xehanort is thrown to the ground.

He can hardly keep his eyes open, but he sees Ventus standing over Xehanort, his angel blade in hand, and Vanitas can see Xehanort’s fear as he realizes exactly what Ventus is holding.

“Ven… No…” Vanitas groans, summoning Void Gear back into his hands as he weakly tries to crawl towards Ventus.

Ventus sends one quick glance at Vanitas, probably to make sure he’s okay, and that’s all Xehanort needs.

Vanitas is forced to watch as his father, with speed faster than he can fathom, jumps to his feet, delivering one solid blow to Ventus’s head, sending the blonde boy to the ground, surrounded by a puddle of blood, and Vanitas screams.

He screams loud enough to shatter windows.

He hears the doors fly open, Sora’s all too familiar voice calling his name, but still, all he can do is scream.

_“Ven!”_

 

* * *

 

It feels like a hundred years before Vanitas pulls himself to his feet, staring at Xehanort, thinking of nothing but his father’s death.

He stumbles forwards, steps shaky and heavy, blood pouring out of the gash in his forehead, wrist completely shattered.

None of that affects him.

He summons Void Gear back into his non-shattered hand, though it’s glowing. Xehanort seems to notice this, looking worried, as Void Gear transforms into something completely different. It resembles Sora’s Keyblade, Kingdom Key, two of them. He looks over his shoulder, seeing Sora standing upright by the door, summoning Kingdom Key and rushing forward to stand beside Vanitas.

“It seems you’ve unlocked your true power, hasn’t it?” Xehanort laughs mockingly, but Vanitas isn’t fazed.

“The power you so desperately didn’t want me to have, right? That’s why you constantly berated me for years, let your lackeys abuse my brother, all in an attempt to break me into your perfect toy. Just some pawn in your game. You probably didn’t expect me to overcome it, did you?”

“Vanitas, you know I love you, you’re my own son-” he starts, and Vanitas laughs in his face harshly.

“Just like Sora was your own son, too?” he spits, not sure if Eraqus would have had a chance to tell Sora yet. It doesn’t matter, though. He’ll have to find out eventually, but that isn’t important now.

“I took Sora in as my own son when his mother unfortunately passed-” Xehanort starts, but Vanitas slashes him across the face before he can finish.

“When you killed her, right?” he accuses, as Xehanort stumbles backwards. Vanitas is weak, about to pass out at any second, but he knows what needs to be done. Sora is barely alive, which is more of a relief than _anything_ , but Ven’s aura is fading slowly, and Vanitas knows he needs to end this fast.

Vanitas closes his eyes for a moment, drawing in power from both Sora and Ventus, allowing him to fully accept the darkness into his heart. His body surrounds itself with the familiar dark fog, and he opens his eyes to see Xehanort looking horrified.

“This is what you were keeping me from, right?” he asks, taking a few steps towards his father, using a substantial amount of effort. “My true power?”

“You know your true power, Vanitas, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but I never believed it, not until now,” he says, getting dangerously close to his father who could kill him in one swing. He knows Sora is on the defense behind him, but he could still die with just one hit to the head.

Xehanort, almost in slow motion, raises his Keyblade, clearly about to land a finishing blow on Vanitas, when he feels his body being thrown to the side. Sora catches him before he hits the ground, and Vanitas watches as Eraqus sends him and Sora one final nod, allowing Xehanort to land his blow on himself, hitting the ground next to them with a thud, his aura fading immediately.

“No!” Sora screams, echoed by Roxas, both rushing towards him, as Vanitas pulls himself up, walking back towards Xehanort, who looks _disgustingly_ pleased with himself. Eraqus’s sacrifice gave Vanitas all the energy he needs to finish this, as he prepares to finish Xehanort off. “You have no idea who you’re up against, _father._ ”

“Of course I do, I didn’t have a son so he could be weak,” Xehanort says with a mocking bow.

Vanitas raises his Keyblade, his father not standing, clearly knowing he’s done all he needs to do to start up a Holy War. He doesn’t care if Vanitas kills him. With the deaths of Eraqus and quite possibly Ventus, the angels will be quick to blame it on Xehanort’s oldest son, and the Holy War will happen regardless.

Vanitas knows this, and it’s the final nail in the coffin that he needs to end his father with one blow.

Xehanort drops to the ground, and it’s almost as if chains drop from around Vanitas’s heart. His keyblade breaks into a thousand pieces around him, and he feels them returning to his own heart as Void Gear returns to its regular state.

With his father taken care of, Vanitas drops to his knees beside Ventus, immediately breaking down as he tries everything in his power to save him. His light is fading, almost nonexistent, but still present. It’s present enough for Vanitas to know he can save him.

“You did it, Vanitas.”

“No, we did it,” he says, grasping Ventus’s hand as tight as he can with his own consciousness fading away. “Ven, we did it, you have to stay with me. We still have to bring peace, remember? Like we talked about. We have to unite our kingdoms.”

Ventus doesn’t answer, his light flickering in and out as Vanitas’s heart races, thinking of any situation he can to stop him from fading completely. He may have eternal powers over death handed down to him from his father _,_ but what does it matter if he can’t stop death? What’s the point in having the title of Reaper if he can’t stop even his own powers from taking people? If even he, a _Reaper_ , can’t stop the one person he’s in love with from dying, what’s the point in even having the power in the first place?

“Ven, no, you have to stay with me. We have so much more to do. I need you.”

“Tell Roxas… I love him. And I love you, too, Vanitas. I’m… I’m sorry we didn’t have a chance to finish what we started. You’ll do great as King, I always knew you would.”

“And so will you, you just have to stay with me,” Vanitas begs, tears falling onto Ventus’s chest as he sobs.

Ventus gives him a soft smile, shaking his head feebly. “You are so special, Vanitas. I’m sorry I won’t be here to see the Kingdom you’ll build. But, you will, and you’ll be so _incredible._ You always have been. I’ll miss you.”

“Ven, no, you can’t,” Vanitas cries, and Ventus shakes his head ever so slightly.

“I love you, Vanitas.”

“I love you. Ventus.”

And with that, Ventus’s light dies.

And Vanitas screams.


	24. Chapter 24

Vanitas sits in silence at the rounded table.

Sora sits beside him in quiet support, but Vanitas doesn’t care.

He and Sora have years to reconcile, and now isn’t the time. He’s beyond grateful that his brother hadn’t died like he’d thought, but Ventus had.

Ventus is gone.

He can’t process the words in his head, but his thoughts are screaming them over and over again, to the point where all Vanitas wants to do is cover his ears and scream, but instead he just sits in silence, staring at the table he, Sora, Roxas and Axel sit at.

He doesn’t even know what they’re talking about until Sora nudges him softly.

“Vani?” he asks, and Vanitas slowly drags his eyes up to look at Sora’s beaten, bloody face.

None of them had a chance to do anything to clean themselves up before Axel found Vanitas on the ground, bringing the survivors of the battle into a room to converse.

“What do you think, boss?” Axel asks, and Vanitas just stares at him blankly.

“About what?”

“Sora and Roxas. Roxas wants to give Sora command of Heaven, him being the… Rightful heir,” Axel says, only slightly-  _ understandably,  _ for a Reaper- cringing at the words.

Vanitas just shrugs, looking back at the table.

“It’s his birthright. He can choose for himself.”

He can feel all three of their eyes on him, but he doesn’t care. He does make an actual effort to listen to the conversation, though. Contrary to his behaviour he does want to know whether or not he’s losing his brother, too.

Brother. Birthright be damned, Sora is his brother, no affair will change that. He may have lost almost everything that day, but he refuses to lose his brother.

“Roxas, I didn’t even know Eraqus was my father until today. It wouldn’t be fair of me to take your place.”

“I’d rather the true heir take the position, otherwise I’d just feel like a fraud,” Roxas argues. He rummages around in his pockets before pulling out a pin, handing it to Sora across the table. “Take it. It’s Eraqus’s King Regent pin. It belongs to you now.”

Vanitas looks over at Sora, wondering what he’ll do. Roxas is right, it does technically belong to Sora. As much as he wants to think selfishly and hope Sora will decline, he knows this is what he was born for. He’s the heir, after all.

Sora picks it up, studying it for a few moments, before tossing it back to Roxas. “This doesn’t belong to me. You deserve as much as I do to rule over Heaven.  _ You’re  _ Eraqus’s true heir, Roxas. Besides,” he says, looking over at Vanitas with a smile, “I have my own life to get back to.”

Roxas nods, and that’s that.

“What will you do?” Roxas asks Vanitas, who gives him a tired shrug.

“I don’t think I really have a choice there,” he says, looking over at Axel, who gives him a supportive smile and a nod. “I’m taking over the throne of Hell.”

Roxas nods again, getting to his feet. “I should probably be getting to cleaning up everything. All the Demons should be gone, right?” he asks Axel, who nods.

“The Reapers rounded everyone up. Contrary to popular belief, Demons aren’t all bloodthirsty murderers. They’re just… Obedient. They should all be cleared out by now.”

Roxas looks back at Vanitas, who still hasn’t stood. “I wanted to thank you, Vanitas.”

“What could you possibly have to thank me for?” Vanitas asks, knowing damn well that had he and Ventus not met, Roxas would still have a brother, and a father.

“I’d never seen Ventus so happy before you two met. I think you really saved him.”

Vanitas looks up at Roxas, tears starting to spill over his eyes. “He always said he was trying to save me.”

Roxas just shrugs, smiling at Vanitas lightly. “I think you underestimate yourself. You’re more good than you think.”

With that, Roxas leads them back to Heaven’s gates, with promises to let Vanitas visit whenever he sees fit.

“I don’t know about that,” Vanitas says, digging his hands into his pockets. “Last time I got caught up with Heaven’s affairs, I almost caused the apocalypse.”

“Well, good thing we won’t have to deal with your father anymore, will we?” Roxas says, giving Axel and Sora a nod as well. “I wish you all the best. And I think we can work something out with that ‘Peace to the Realms’ idea I heard you mention to Ventus.”

Vanitas looks up at Roxas, feeling his heart sting at the sight of him. He looks  _ exactly  _ like Ventus, and it hurts. Vanitas doesn’t know how often he’ll be able to see Roxas, and figures he’ll probably give the messenger job to Sora to save him from the meetings.

“Thank you, Roxas.”

Roxas just nods, and Vanitas, Sora and Axel set off for their home.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas returns to the Dark Realm to find that his reputation hadn’t exactly stayed positive in his absence.

Sora was kind enough to inform him that, despite his efforts, Xigbar had managed to spread lies about how Vanitas had turned against Xehanort, his own father, who had done nothing but care for him. Sora tried to dispute the rumors, but Xigbar had everyone convinced that he was nothing more than a naîve, lost little boy who just missed his big brother.

The Demons, save for Demyx, Axel and Naminé, don’t exactly welcome him back with open arms, but Vanitas doesn’t really care. Sora has to tell him that not caring will only make it worse, and if Vanitas wants to be any better of a ruler than Xehanort, he needs the respect of his people.

The first thing Vanitas wants to do it kill Xigbar, which he makes apparent to Sora, but for reasons he can’t quite fathom, Sora disagrees.

“I can’t have you kill him, Vanitas. I’m sorry.”

Vanitas gives him a strange look, and he whips around to see two lower ranked Demons walking into the room. He isn’t sure what’s going on, though it’s clear as soon as the two Demons grab him, dragging him out of the room by his arms.

“Dungeons,” Sora orders, and Vanitas stares at his brother in complete shock.

“What are you doing?!” Vanitas screams, and Sora just stares at him, stone cold.

“Vanitas, you’re being arrested on charges of treason as a result of your disappearance and betrayal against the Realm of Darkness,” Sora says, staring at Vanitas as he’s dragged away by his arms.

“Sora, stop!” Vanitas screams, fighting like crazy, but he’s easily overpowered, still weak from the battle with Xehanort and his heartbreak over Ventus.

He gives up about halfway, letting the Demons throw him into the dungeons with no care whatsoever.

He grunts as he lands on the solid floor, turning over and cradling his still shattered wrist.

He lays on the ground, wondering what the  _ hell  _ happened to Sora to incline his brother to throw him into the dungeons, and whether anything he told him about trying to deny any rumors of Vanitas’s supposed betrayal was even real. Was this his plan all along? To have Vanitas thrown in the dungeons for the rest of his life? There couldn’t be anything  _ less  _ like Sora in Vanitas’s mind, yet, here he is.

He knows it absolutely has something to do with Xigbar. Had the man gotten that strong of a hold on Sora in his absence?

He lays there, in complete shock, his heart being shattered for the second time that day, when he hears someone he hadn’t noticed before speak up from the corner of his cell.

“About time you showed up.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Game of Thrones season 7 episode 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking around until the end.  
> I wanna give a HUGE thank you to all my amazing friends on twitter, you all know who you are, for all their undying support. I managed to finish nanowrimo (counting winter things) with a grand total of 50,005 words after 4 years of trying and i owe most of it to everyone on twitter, thank you all so much. Thank you to all of you non-twitter friends as well who left a kudos or a comment, i appreciate it more than you can ever know. I owe my nano win to all of you.  
> With that said, enjoy the final chapter of Way Down We Go.  
> Thanks for everything.

Vanitas lets the guards drag him out of his cell and up to the throne room. He’d been locked up for a few days, clearly long enough for Sora to secure the rule. Sora sits on the throne, Xehanort’s own crown on his head and Kingdom Key in his hands, with Xigbar himself standing just off to the side looking  _ sickly  _ pleased with himself. Clearly he’s still keeping his title of right hand to the King. There’s an audience all around, probably to add to Vanitas’s embarrassment, as the guards throw him on the ground carelessly. He catches himself before his head hits the ground with his only good hand, staring at the ground as Sora stares at him.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks Sora, his voice echoing through the silent chamber.

“It’s not what I want,” Sora responds, his tone flat, “but I need to defend the Dark Realm against those who would betray it.”

“Get on with it, then,” Vanitas mutters.

It’s stoically silent in the room as Sora takes far too long to speak up, and Vanitas still can’t pull his head up to look at him. He knows everyone is watching him with sick fascination, but he doesn’t look at any of them, either.

“You stand here today, in front of myself, acting King, as well as those who reside in the Realm of Darkness, on multiple accounts of treason. You stand accused of abuse of superiors, you stand accused of torture of other Demons under your watch, as well as turning your back on the realm, and conspiring against the royal family.”

Vanitas stays staring at the ground as Sora pauses. The entire room is so silent you could hear a pin drop, and it’s an excruciating amount of time before Sora speaks up again.

“How do you answer to these accusations,” Sora starts, and Vanitas can hear Sora’s body turn in the throne, before the younger boy finishes his question.

_ “Xigbar?” _

Vanitas’s head whips up to send a knowing grin to Sora, who grins right back. Vanitas looks over at Xigbar, standing just below Sora, whose face goes from entertained to absolutely horrified in a matter of moments. It’s as if all the color drains from his face, and Vanitas can see the panic on his face clear as day.

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” Xigbar asks, and Sora raises an eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean? What parts are you confused about?” Sora asks, rather condescendingly, and Vanitas has to stifle harsh laughter.

“I thought this was a trial for Vanitas,” Xigbar says, looking between Vanitas and Sora quickly. “He committed regicide, is that not a  _ crime?” _

“He committed  _ regicide  _ as a result of years of abuse, and I don’t think you’ll find a single person in this hall who doesn’t agree with his actions,” Sora says as Vanitas picks himself up off the ground. “You thought this was a trail for Vanitas because that is what you spent weeks trying to convince me to do the moment you found out he was alive. Did you really think for a single moment that I would side with you against my own  _ brother?” _

“Come on, kid, you can’t do this,” Xigbar says, trying but failing to stay composed. Vanitas watches him flounder, feeling the best he’s felt in days. “He’s not even the rightful King!” Xigbar yells, turning to everyone else in the room. “He’s not even Xehanort’s kid. Sora is a half-angel half-demon. He’s the heir to  _ Heaven,  _ and you’re all going to let him make this decision? Have you all lost your minds?”

“My ancestry doesn’t matter here, as I’m not the one making the choice.” Sora asks patronizingly. “You’re right, Xigbar, I’m not the rightful King. And there’s no need for an acting King anyway, since the real one has graciously arrived, now is there?” Sora asks, taking the crown off his head and tossing it at Vanitas, who puts it on his head with an evil grin.

“Don’t care to defend yourself?” Vanitas asks Xigbar, whose gaze is still darting between Vanitas and Sora. “You seem to like to talk a whole lot otherwise.”

“This is absolutely ridiculous,” Xigbar says, looking around the room. “Is anyone going to speak up about how ridiculous this is?!” He demands, looking to anyone and everyone for help. “Axel?”

“I think the kids should’ve offed you years ago,” Axel says lazily, and Vanitas shoots him a grateful smile.

“Did you know about this?!” Xigbar demands, and Axel shrugs.

“Obviously.”

Xigbar whips back around to Sora. “Sora, I’ve been serving your family for  _ years, _ I knew your mother, I could tell you all about her, _ ”  _ Xigbar argues, turning his attention to Vanitas, “and we used to be best friends, Vanitas. You can’t do this to me.”

“You may have served our family,” Sora mutters, “but you were party to the abuse of me and my brother for just as long. Thank you for your many years of service, Xigbar, but you unfortunately are no longer needed here.”

Vanitas walks towards Xigbar, who looks like he’s about to try and argue more, but he’s cut off before he can by Vanitas summoning Void Gear and delivering Xigbar a fatal blow.

 

* * *

 

Vanitas sits in the clearing just outside of Amsterdam, silent.

He listens as the wind blows past his ears, closing his eyes and taking in the sounds of leaves rustling, thinking about how Ventus would have enjoyed a quiet afternoon like this one.

He looks down at the ground, thinking back to the many times he and Ven had come to this exact spot to do everything and nothing together. To their first meeting, the moment they became friends, and their first kiss.

His heart longs to see him again, but he knows he has a responsibility to his brother and his kingdom to stick around for as long as he can. The afterlife for humans is pretty straightforward for them, but nobody truly knows what comes of ethereal beings when they die.

He can only hope it’s a clearing just like this one, and Ventus is waiting for him there. That one day, he’ll see him again, after everything they’ve been through. With Xehanort and Eraqus gone, they really could have had a chance, but Ventus was taken from him far too early, and for that he’ll never fully recover.

“I thought I might find you here,” he hears a voice say from behind him, and he looks up to see the source.

“Terra,” he greets, wondering if he’d come to kill him or something, since Ventus isn’t around to give him the incentive not to.

“Roxas told me about how everything went down,” Terra says, taking a seat next to Vanitas. “I’m sorry. About Ven.”

“I should be apologizing, he wouldn’t have died if not for me. He was your friend, too.”

“Sure, but I don’t think Ven would have ever thought twice about dying for you. He was a lot of things, but selfish wasn’t one of them.”

“He was… The best person I’ve ever met. Who else in the entire universe would have taken on the task of trying to save a Demon from darkness?”

“I don’t think that’s what he was trying to do,” Terra disputes. “I think he was trying to save you from the world. And that’s exactly what he did.”

Vanitas laughs once, sadly, as a tear falls onto his cheek. He wipes it away quickly with a sniff, looking down at the grass blowing in the wind. “I miss him, Terra.”

“Me too.”

They sit in silence for a moment before Terra nudges Vanitas in the side lightly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Vanitas. You’re not at all who I thought you were.”

“Thanks.”

“What’s on your hand?” Terra asks, gesturing to the blisters forming on Vanitas’s knuckles. He pulls his hands away, putting them under his legs on the ground. He’d found a fondness in sitting in the sun, feeling a connection to Ventus whenever he does so, not even really caring about the burning. The sun had always caused him to burn, just like Ventus ended up doing, too. Ventus absolutely destroyed him, in every way possible. He burnt his heart out and took it with him when he left, and it hurts more and more every day. Ventus was the sun, in more than the physical resemblance of his bright blonde hair. Vanitas always knew the sun caused him to burn, but he let him in anyway.

“Don’t worry about it,” Vanitas mutters, and Terra doesn’t press.

“I should be getting back,” Terra says, getting to his feet. “I just came to say thank you. You may have been Ven’s downfall, but you also brought out the best in him. I’m glad he had you, and I’m sorry for anything I did to try and tear you two apart.”

Vanitas shakes his head, looking up at Terra sadly. “It’s okay. I swear.”

He isn’t mad at terra, he couldn’t be. He was, for a while, but he knows deep down that Terra just had Ventus’s best interests at heart. Terra was like an older brother to Ventus, and Vanitas knows he would have done the exact same for Sora.

Terra awkwardly clears his throat before continuing. “Well, as Military Commander of Heaven, I bring you thanks from everyone in our realm. Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to hold off the impeding Demon invasion that would have, without a doubt, created an apocalypse. We’re all forever grateful for you.”

Vanitas gives him a real, genuine smile. “This isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you around, of course.”

Terra nods, returning the smile. “Of course. See you around, Vanitas.”

 

* * *

 

Vanitas kneels in front of the throne, facing away from the crows of people staring at him. Sora stands above him, holding the King’s crown. Sora wears Vanitas’s old crown, carrying his new title of Crown Prince with equal pride to Vanitas’s passed on Head Reaper pin which now resides, as it should, on his younger brother’s lapel.

“Will you solemnly swear and promise to govern the peoples of the Dark Realm according to their respective laws and customs?” Sora asks, clearly not even  _ trying  _ to suppress a smile.

“I do solemnly swear,” Vanitas repeats.

“Will you, in all your power, allow law and justice in mercy to be executed in all your judgements?” Sora asks, looking like he’s about to explode from pride.

“I will.”

Sora reaches forward, placing Xehanort’s crown onto Vanitas’s head with a grin. “Then by the sacred power vested in me as head Reaper, right hand of the King and Prince of the Dark Realm, I name you Vanitas, King of Hell. Long live the King.”

Vanitas stands as the crowds echo Sora’s words, his brother giving him the proudest smile he’s ever seen him wear. Vanitas can’t even suppress his own smile as he thinks forward to the new Realm he and Sora have to build in the wake of Xehanort’s death, knowing that Ventus’s sacrifice is the only thing that could have allowed them to take on the task.

Vanitas looks out at the crowd as he meets the gazes of Axel, Demyx and Naminé in the Reaper position to the side of the crowds. The three of them cheer him on louder than anyone else, and Vanitas stands tall for his kingdom.

_ I owe all of this to you. _

_ And hey, maybe one day, despite everything, we’ll find our way back to each other. _

_ Here’s hoping, Ven. _

_ I’ll see you soon. _


	26. Reminder!

Hey everyone! If you’ve made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I just wanna give a huge shoutout again to all the people who pressured me into finishing this in the 30 day time frame of Nanowrimo, and everyone who stopped by to check it out.  
If you could leave a kudos that’d be great; also, i have a twitter @venvans if you wanna check it out, i tweet a lot about my writing if anyone cares about my live updates haha. I ALSO want to shout out @lakokoosa on twitter for drawing this lovely picture of Ven and Vani from this story which can be found here: https://twitter.com/venvans/status/1083238402001121280?s=21  
Thanks again everyone! And be sure to check out the second part of this series, Blood in the Water!

-Jennie


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